Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I walked in to our offices and was greeted cheerfully by This! Special Agent Jack Friggin' Sparrow!
Almost wet myself laughing. Truly a fine young fellow, but the context, and the fact that I'd forgotten that this was All Hallows Eve, just got me Rolling. So there you have it.Yes, I did a black to protect the "not so innocent".
Lil' Wolfie had an after school spaghetti event, so I joined him for his schools' Traditional celebration. No, I have NO idea what the hell spaghetti has to do with Halloween either........but the cubs enjoyed it.
Instead of the cubs spending the night up with me, I dropped 'em off at Mrs. P's around 1830 hrs so they could reap their treasures from "friendly" territory. (they know where the "Good" stuff is).
Lil' Wolfie needed a bit of help with his get up......He had a skeleton outfit with skull, and decided to jazz it up a bit witha checkered dish towel. Remember the vid I linked? Yup, cub's got that sensa humor.
"Knock knock, knock.......Trick or Treat!.......I KEEEEL You." Maybe he needs therapy. Or I do.....cracked me up.
Bigger has about outgrown the Trick or Treating......age wise, anyway. I told him that at 15, it was 'bout time to start "giving" candy rather than getting it. He didn't have a costume anyway, so I figured he'd hang at his momma's, or maybe walk around with Lil'in civvies.
Well.......Wollf was wrong. Bigger had found,(in yet another "box 'o my stuff"), my Ghillie suit. Fits him? Ummm, Not.
I'm what you might call an unspectacular physical specimen, six feet and about 185 pounds, so your standard issue 15 year old shouldn't be "swimming" in the suit.
But.......Bigger Wolfie is about 8 inches shy of "standard". Runs about 5-2......
Heh, cub is not imposing. He was All excited though. Wearing Wollf's Ghillie, disappearing into the landscape, looking like a Bush Monster.
ROFLMAO!! Shrubbery.......hell, Miniature Shrubbery is more like it. Oh Jeezers does he look Great. I frigin' wanted to pot him and set him on the Gazebo.......
Sorry, had to take a breath.
No, you don't have to take me to task. I DID NOT let him know how "cute" he was. I was entirely......well "mostly", serious while helping him get the thing on properly, all the while answering.....or parrying, his numerous questions about the "history" of his "costume".
So....it was an enjoyable day all in all, except that I couldn't bear to stay too awful long at "my" house.
Besides, it's Halloween. I was a little spooked myself by the walking, talking mini shrub....and of course the "Terrorist". What kind of "terrorist", you didn't ask, but realize by now that I'm going to tell you?........Why,
A Terrorizing Teritz, of course. Please give him candy.
I KEEEEL You........
Give treats. Enjoy the kids, and watch out for the turbaned skeleton and potted plants....they might be mine.
Happy and safe Halloween.
OK, I realize that not only is it a Good thing, it's probably also a sign of my Personal Growth. I'm doing "better", I suppose.
First up, Project Valor I T. An Internet event that raises donations to supply Laptops and Voice recognition software to wounded Soldiers, Squids, Flyboys and Marines.
A lot of these Men and Women need our help. ALL of them need our Support. To read the full story, and to donate if you will, go
My Pack have been Marines since pretty much the inception wars with the Barbary Pirates back in Jefferson's Presidency. Yup, your humble host included.
Thus, I'm sending you over to Lovely Linda's place. Her site gives "points" to the USMC team.......I can't explain it, I have to make mass quantities of American Dollars.....Go there, Now!!
Oh, Yeah, Please leave her a note to let her know I sent you......
She might send "smooches".
Wollf needs all the "smooches" he can get.
(Self serving completed)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Went for a walk to clear my Soul. I wrote what may be my last relational e-mail to Mrs. P. That was a bit rough. Said everything that was on my heart. I had to get it out in order to feel Honorable about this last step that is now inevitable.
I had a bit of an apostrophe last nite. I was driving home from a short Night Hike and stopped in at the "hangout" for a drink. Non alcoholic, don't you be concerned, and it hit me.
Now this might sound crass, but I felt of a sudden as though I'd been paroled, set free, that I was finally able to be and do and think Any G-dammed thing that I want to........Here it was, 2130 hrs, Monday nite, and I just plain stopped in to say hey to the boys.......
No one to check with, no one to explain to.......just me and whatever I feelt like doing. Kind of a wow moment. I'm going to stay this way. Not necessarily single,mind you.......but Free. Wollf as he is. That is what some poor Woman with a good heart is going to get one of these days.
And that's why the letter. I put all of me into it. It was by no means a plea. I left this situation in her hands and let her know that I would be ok. I have tried to mend this for the sake of the Family. I've accepted that I can't.
I've had the last word. Anybody wants to see it, I'm debating putting it up on my noon blog.........maybe too private a bunch of thoughts and feelings to share with my readers / friends. But it would Feel So Good!!!
What do you think? Comment, and I'll listen.
Bad taste in my mouth. Wollf ate a Troll tonite. Tasted good, smelled of roses.
Regulars, let me know if you find it offensive. Not that I'll change anything, I'd just like to know. Thus you have:
Dead Terrorist Ventriloquism!!
I KEEL YOU!!
Blame Morrie, He doesn't know how to cut and paste.......sheesh.
Monday, October 29, 2007
The Eternity of Honor.
My Grandfather ingrained it in me.......Hopefully I can share with a tiny portion of his eloquence..........
I'm back. It's 2037 hrs local, 0437 Zulu, and it's been a busy day. Odd happenings all the way around, but that's another story.....
First to finish my thought from earlier in the day. Without being too awfully personal, I left, and received comments from a Man whom I'm coming to respect more each time I read his work.
Seems we share a few "life experiences"......so far, it seems, not the really good ones. Brought up some painful memories, which thanks to the resiliency of the human Spirit and the passage of almost four years, is "bearable".
I'll elaborate on that in January.........forgive me, but now is not the time. Suffice to say that it was Worse, and probably the root of the breakdown in intimacy between Mrs. P and Wollf.
My new found compatriot in sorrow commiserated with me in saying that "Nothing is Forever". Truer words were never uttered when describing our physical being, or relationships, or governments, or worlds, or even the Universe. Surely, I, and he understand the human need to believe that G-d is "Forever", that we "collectively" have a need to grasp firmly to a belief in "something" after this existence.
Forgive my indulging in that bit of "qualification",but I wanted to distance myself from religion in this post. My Belief is mine. Yours is yours.
I Honor that. And that is the point of this post.
Honor is Forever.
Not as in the "eternity" of the mathematical, or the Einsteinium imaginings of the Universe, but a much less complex notion. Forever. Simply put. In human terms.
"As long as it can be remembered".
Honor is the difference between a Man.........and a man.
A hunter who respects his prey.
Before eating, always take time to thank the food.
A Warrior who fights and dies for what he knows is right.
A brave man dies but once, a coward many times.
There is Honor in these Proverbs, told over generations by Honorable Men.
"Look around you, surround yourself in Honor and then your memory shall truly live Forever." Those are the words that were ingrained in me as a boy, and the words that haunted me as a man when I failed to live up to my destiny.
I am a Man of frailties and faults as many as all men. But I am now, and always will, be remembered as a Man. For I have, first and foremost again in my life,
Honor. A simple, five letter word with Meaning so very deep. From the Dictionary:
A Principled uprightness of character; personal integrity,courage in adversity.
A code of integrity, dignity, and pride.
I've written here using the generic "man" or "Man". Please understand that I am speaking as much of my sisters as my brothers. It's simply too much typing, and in the interest clarity I chose this way.
My Eldest She-wolf was and thus Is a Woman of Honor. As such, She is Forever.
My Second is an Honorable Woman, a Mother and devoted Mate.
She-cub is Becoming.......what a responsibility for the Alpha to teach.
Bigger and Lil' Wolfies will become Men of Honor. I shall be their model in all I say and all I do.
For only then will I be Forever. Because of Honor, I shall be remembered to my Great grandchildren just as my Grandfather is known to my Cubs. His human life is long gone, but his Honor is alive in me and in my Cubs, and on this page.
Yes, my new friend, Honor is Forever.
And I said it before IMAO.
Although, I admit that I read his humor piece first, and then "Back dated" this Post.
Sometimes, I am an eeevil Genius.
But....I said it first. Well, not really, and this really isn't that funny, but what the heck.
See you tonite,
Sunday, October 28, 2007
In the ceasing of existence
Of something that's come to be....
A highrise imploding upon itself
The slow motion dance to the ground,
Dying in its' footprint.....
A bridge in a far off land,
Tagged to bring mechanized death,
Dies in seriesed explosions,
The sun setting on a fire ravaged land
Smoke swirling endlessly to the sky
The flames now envelope the heavens
A Love was thought forever
Now lies crumpled in its' tears
A Man rises, Howls to the skies and...
San Diego County is receiving some "unexpected" support for their fire emergency. If this doesn't lift your spirits, you've got a future in the MSM.
I'm confident that KT will do an eloquent piece on this soon. Will it be on the Front page of any National papers?
Give me a Break.
I started this blog as a semi-private arena to work out some very troublesome mental, spiritual and emotional issues that I, in my ignorant bliss, had been unaware of.
The pain of a family being torn apart, blaming myself, and yet not really seeing what I had done that was so..........Horrible. I wanted to Understand. I quit drinking, started Counseling, began Meditation......all in the hopes that I would "figure it out".
That she would see the hard work aand sincerity of purpose and agree to couple counseling to save and make beter a union of twenty years. I made progress. Then the diagnosis of ADD. Holy crap, what a surprise that was.
I was given a tool in my Quest that has been a missing part since I was eighteen years old......Focus. Now, not only could I do the pyscho-spiritual work necessary.......it became Clear. And most importantly, it stuck to what has been my Teflon Brain.
Things have changed since this site's inception. Where I Desperately needed my wife to Love me, Now the only thing I Need is to Love my Cubs.
Where I wanted to Save the Marriage, now I wish to keep this Divorce on the most Civil of terms, dare I say "friendly", for the Cubs.
Because of my work, and this miraculous new Focus, I've quit beating myself up with blame. I was broken, in fact I guess I still am, as we All are. I wish the best for her. She has got a lot of work to do on herself besides updating her wardrobe.
(sorry, but sarcasm intended).
I can't expend the psychic energy on her. I'l love her in a way, but.....
I Am Done With Her. Emotionally, mind you. I shall be kind, but it's time to end this. Because, just when I think it's "safe"........Bammo, someone hits the start button on the roller coaster again.......I need to secure a solid future for myself, and thus my Cubs. I'll have the most "expendable" income to help out in beginning their young adult lives.....
Then, another Really surprising thing is that I actually have a readership. Aaagh. People are reading my innermost thoughts.........quite the humbling experience.
I've seen the tenor of the writing change. Where I "say" in my profile that this is letting my mind out to play........I now see that. Where when I began, this was Work, now it really is Fun.....most of the time. Thanks Folkes for helping to make that happen.
So there you go. I want the ADD to permeate the writing, I hope you understand, because it's such a part of who I, and others like me, am. I really don't edit these things at all, except friggin' spell check...which Hates me. I want other people to see how the "Bouncing Brain" works.
It's not a curse..........and as one of my Dearest readers has said, "It's by gosh not uninteresting".
I'll back in a few. I've come quite a ways since this began. I've got quite a ways to go because ...
It's a Journey, not a destination.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
If you want a Lot of reading about Generation"Y", and what one of their "Alpha Females" thinks is the Right way for young women to lead their lives.......
Click the Link that KT Cat embedded. I'd put it here, but as you already know, I shall Never link to his site again. (right sidebar in the Wollf Pack).
He told me to enjoy. It just pi$$ed me off. Mrs.P and her mom are off to the Costume Party. I truly hope that they're safe.
Be good People.
Just because you have little taste in Blogs doesn't mean you can't. (I mean, you're Here, aren't you/)
Incisive wit completed.
Well, seems I have a conundrum. Dropped Lil' Wolfie off a while ago. My plans were pretty kick back, do some TV.........And he calls me.
Hey Wollf! Ca n you come down and pick me up a little later? Seems Mrs.P has made plans wherein Lil' Wolfie is not included. Her mom is in town. She is invited, I'm sure, to a Costume Party tonite. One, by the way, that we Both swore off going to Ever again......been going on for ten years, and the average age of the party goers has diminished drastically from our "late 40's crowd".
Catered affair, Open bar, gruesome goodies, DJ, etc. Used to be fun. Problem is, it's primarily 20 somethings. Math equation time!!
Twenty Five year old boy + Open Bar = Obnoxious, needs punching, Drunk.
Pretty much a snore fest. Mrs. P, last year tried to keep up with the kiddies. It was Not attractive. I think that was the beginning of her "midlife" thing. I know that it was a good thing for her that I had the ADD in full swing.....
Suffice to say, I had to clean up. I had to chase down and "save". I Definitely had to drive home, and put her to bed.
I Was Pi$$ed!!........Ooooh!, Something Shiny! I never could "focus" on my anger, I lost the anger faster than I lost the temper. But now I'm Treated. That's why I pretty much Know that if she were to come to me and say that she wanted to work on Us, the door wouldn't be open. Now I can focus. On what's good for Me. And what's good for my Cubs. And that doesn't include her. Not now, anyway.
She hasn't begun to work on herself.......full new warddrobe aside....
And I don't really Care what's good for her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not lying to myself. Yes, I still love her, but it's a lower case love. I won't allow myself to be hit like that again. Do I care enough to hope that she's OK? Of course I do....
And thus the dilemma. Take Wolfie, let her party. I'm the free baby sitter? That raises a growl to Wollf's throat. I am no babysitter. Wolfie is not an anchor. I'm gonna go down and get him. We'll have our usual grand old time, but:
I shall let her know what I feel. And that will include reminding her, In Front Of, her momma, of the Reader's Digest version of "what happened last year".
That is what the Man in me needs to do.
I want to leave a Clear set of tracks in this world.
Done with minor rant.
Next up, Dating?............Oh, Jeezers.
Yup, I'll post in a little bit, just droppedd off Lil' Wolfie, rented "The Unit". I'm not a TV guy, but I've heard good things about it. (Yeah, yeah, I'm behind the times, I know it's like the fourth season or something)
Besides........doing is much more fun than watching.
The pic is simply a random shot that I took last evening. Got a kick out of the fact that KT Kat, whom I will Never Link to again,(Right hand side, Wollf Pack), took the same picture, at the same time, from about 150 miles South of me.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Every Friday at 2000hrs. In Wollf's unalterable opinion, the Dumbest sort of mind numbing Nothing that there is. Professional Wrestling. Aaagh. Wollf wrestled in high school. Reasonably adept at it also. Can't Stand the choreography, and can't understand anyone believing that if you are Truly hit in the head by a 300lb man Repeatedly, that you can do Anything.......let alone "shake it off" and win the match.......Wolfie is Way too intelligent for this.
But........I am the Sire for a reason. I know how to pick my battles, and I know how to negotiate.
One hour of mindless drivel is paid for by TWO hours of the History channel. He's happy. I'm happy. Nobody yells..........Peace reigns in the Land.
Bigger Wolfie's at the High School Football game pounding on his drums, and She-cub is............Hmmmmm, well she's s'posed to be working, and I haven't heard differently.
Tomorrow's Homecoming. She's going with Boywhoshouldbe(fill in the blank). He's a great kid. Just not Worthy of my cub's affection. Who among Mortal men is?
Bigger is going. Fifteen years old. High school Hottie Boy. Enjoying Every second of it too, heh. Why, I remember when I was in high school and I'd...........AAaagh!! Someone call the Police!! Oh Cripes, I'd better have a talk with that boy......
HHmmmmm, maybe I could learn a thing or two.....Hell, thinking about it, maybe I Need to, heh. Help. Help......I'm going to Start dating the same time or later than my cub??
Oh the Horror. Anybody want to give me a "practice date"? I mean......I REMEMBER those things....(Dating, People!), Jeezers, I'm not That out of it. Of Course I remember "those" things.
Oh Criponittley, this is Not one of those things that I have pondered. Just in case you didn't guess, I am quite a bit like this in person, except you get the added attraction of my blessed semi old guy looks and mellifluous voice......(imagine Tom Bodette from Motel Six commercials with a bit more energy)..."We'll leave the light on for ya"),heh.
But....oh, man. Rules and Standards have probably changed since I last swam. Conversation? Where to go? What to do? Physical contact..........KISSING?? I gotta change this subject and figure some stuff out. Another post? Hmmmm, there's "something" after the kissing stuff that I.......Oh, NOW I remember....
I Told you I had now idea where this post was going. I have another video to embed, but, although I friggin' laughed my ar$e off at the first two minutes, I previewed the remainder and I'm weighing whether it fits in with my "Comedy Ethics". And thus, whether or not to have it "play" on my site.
You want to see it, I'm afraid you'll have to follow a link. Yes, I'll give it in a second, but first a Disclaimer: The Shi-ite is funny. Quite a bit of it. But it includes a few lines that made ME less than comfortable. (a jab at Priests, a flick of antisemitism, and mostly, it mocks "suicide bombers" in less than the "You Stupid Murderous, Inhuman, Rot in Hell, Let ME Help you get there Faster".....way teht I would prefer.
I guess that's humor for you. Heck, I crack myself up. No accounting for taste, is there. Anyway, if you think you like "Dead Terrorist Puppet Ventriloquism", knock yourself out. I promised to send it to a Person of my Respect, but I'm reneging. What a way to begin a relationship........oh well, those that know me here understand that I just can't be counted on....heh. The Link...I Think:
In fact, I'll make it even more 'Your" decision, copy and paste time, kiddies.
"Out damned spot!!".....see? Impressed? Shakesepeare, even.
I'm gonna post this and maybe come back and talk about one of the Stupidest things I've Ever suspected "her" of doing.....
Hope you enjoyed that excessive amount of "What the Eff is Wollf talking About".
Eff Suicide Bombers. I Pray that they All suffer from male Premature Detonation.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Let it be known to those gentle readers, new to the Wollfe's Lair, Loyalists, Friends and Friends Becoming.............
This Photographic Symbol shall stand Henceforth for warning that Wollfe has HAD IT.
I still need to vent occasionally on this stuff. If there's no writing after this warning, I am Dispersing my Frustration as we speak. It'll post in a bit.
But hey, don't miss the Youtube clip. It kept me from going Friggin' Ballistic.
.........Time has passed. I watched the silly video again, FOUR times with Lil' Wolfie........Way impossible for me to remain Completely Pi$$ed when he's around.
Don't know what I'd do without my Best Lil' Friend. Yes I do. And I'm sure it would make the small town papers.....
It was almost Rage, Folkes. Frustration and Rage. I have NEVER uttered a Mean word about that woman. (Newcomers, check the Glossary for most common). I can't even bring myself to use one of her Glossary names. In Particular in these pages.
That would not be fair. There is no opportunity for her to defend my words. And although I know for a fact that the reverse is less than true, I would not be a Man of Honor if I Defamed her.
That being said, she is a Total ..........&^%$@#$**^&^#@%%^&^&(!!!
Dammit, K T Kat!!! It's His fault, darn it. I had a most Excellent Rageful Rant going here, and He,.......He........hee hee, heh....HUH!
I'm just going to quit. I'm just Not Angry any more.........
Here, in explanation to my poor, unfullfilled Readers, (Because of You, KT...link below, right side, Wollf Pack),
I shall just cut and paste the comment which I left on his site which, by the way, I shall NEVER mention again,(below, right side, Wollf Pack)
That will teach him to beware the Anger of Wollf!!
Unless you make him laugh........cheaters.
HEY......I'm TRYING to be PI$$ED off over here!!
Sheesh, Between your Comments and Lil' Wolfie just being....well, Lil' Wolfie.....you two are absolutely RUINING my HORRIBLE MOOD.
Look, You even made me write something Funny, Darn it!
I gotta finish the vent. I'll send you the Podiatry bill. I might have to drop one of my dum bells on my foot to get riled up again.
See? You did it again.
The dropping weights on my foot didn't even help.......
Hey, I am in a BAD mood. This video saved me tonight. I May go off in the next post. For the first time in a Long time.
But this? I Love it.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Hmmm, probably down to about Two's of readers after this one. First, made the decision to post my Picture, lost a few "younger" readers, I imagine. Then I show my Red State bent.....oh the Horror.
L-sog, weirdness is creeping into my Soul.
Folke, one of my Fave Opinionated Blogerettes sent me a note, after I sent Her a note...about the strange happenstance of meeting an old friend you hadn't seen in 20+ years through Blogging.......hmmmm
Discuss something odd.........then it Happens. Remember the Post where I had shivers...the Feeling? I may have to road trip to Tucson.....hmmm, again. That would take me Right Through another town. Junior, y'all better hope I don't know this guy like I think I do. (Sorry again, personal humor....hey, at least I giggled!) The Parable:
Catching Wild Pigs
There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab the Prof noticed one young man (exchange student) who kept rubbing his back And stretching as if his back hurt.
The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist government.
In the midst of his story he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked, ' Do you know how to catch wild pigs?'
The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line. The young man said this was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in The last side. The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.
Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves so they accept their captivity.
The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening to America . The government keeps pushing us toward communism/socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, farm subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops, welfare, medicine, drugs, free medical care, etc. - while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time.
One should always remember, "There is no such thing as a free lunch!" Also, you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.
If you see that all of this wonderful government 'help' is a problem confronting the future of democracy in America , you might want to send this on to your friends. If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life then you will probably not tell anyone about this post, but God help you when the gate slams shut!
Hillary Care, anyone?
Got the Cubs.....gotta play abit.
See you in a bit,
People who have had the nerve to read my early posts, and Understand the true depths of my Sorrow at this whole friggin' situation, have occasionally commented on on how well I'm doing at getting my shi-ite back together.
The picture tells a Huge part of the story. That, my friends is One of the Great Joys in my life. Yup, Lil' Wolfie, in the flesh. I figured it would be safe to post him for a little bit, then redact the picture tomorrow.
The childish Joy of Life exudes from every single pore in the kid's body. Loves"almost" everybody, way too intelligent and athletic sometimes for people's taste, (yup "lower case" people).......but sure as hell fits in with his Sire's.
There's been four more just as well Loved, but of course, He's the baby.....heh, I'll Never say that to Dude, might be a worse outcome than that Brahma Bull incident. Cub's got a temper.
Does he take after his Sire? Hmmmm............I'm not that vain.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Remember the "Farewell" post a couple weeks ago? I've been thinking about it and some other words that were said, and I realized that I hadn't completely worked them through. Let's start all over, all serious and stuff.
The thorns which I have reap'd are of the tree
I planted; they have torn me, and I bleed.
I should have known what fruit would spring from such a seed.
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage
Remember those posts filled with Angst? Feel the pain that was oozing from my every pore as I tried to get my mind wrapped around what was happening to me? I go back and re-read one or two quite often.
More than that is more than I can bear. I don't want to be that injured animal again. I particularly get insight when I reread "my CLOSED ON ACCOUNT OF DIVORCE" posts.
The three distinct feelings running rampant through my battered Soul such a short time ago. Humor as Defense, Melancholy Acceptance, Animal Rage. All there, jumbled up in one Human Being. I suppose we're all like that to some degree. I don't want to ever be that again.
We have to aim for Humor as Insight, Joyful Acceptance, Righteous Anger. We can't always, or maybe Ever achieve those Goals.......but it seems a good start.
Whew........And I haven't even gotten to the point yet. The words that I've been Pondering, that Mrs. P, whom I "thought" was the Love of my Life spoke were....
My stars, maybe from her perspective I was, or maybe am. Maybe the Truth is that I was.
If so, It was of my own doing. I planted the seeds that tore me and made me bleed. And I was left with only the bitter fruit that the vine supplied. I didn't see the Balance.
I was simply, Responsible. Responsible in the extreme, perhaps. Responsible like the Sire that raised me. Up at the crack, make a good living, too dam tired to interact by the time he got home..
"Wanna play ball,Dad?", I'd say. "I'm your Father, not your playmate.", he'd retort.
Never heard my parents fight. If there was a hint of animosity, it sent shivers up my spine. Because I somehow Knew that it was all a facade, that one day it would all blow up. Real People weren't like that.
Responsible in concern. Never, except for brief "glimpses" talked about what I did before I met her. It would worry her, I thought. Worried about her laissez faire attitude toward her own safety. She has rarely felt threatened because she has never experienced threat.
I have. In ways that I, having experienced, still find incomprehensible. I over compensated. What I thought was "just" concern, she may have felt was smothering.
Honor, Responsibility, Country, God.
In Moderation. Am I boring? Am I interesting? Hmmm, You might think so. But you're seeing the reborn Wollf, truly seeing life as through the eyes of my cubs.
She refuses to see this Man. I truly doubt she will ever read these essays. I doubt she has any interest. It's ok, I've accepted that. A new chapter, a new beginning.
A new Perception. Too bad for her. I "suppose" there will be another Woman in my life. Heck, there are. And I'm thankful.
In Excess. Was I boring or uninteresting before I let myself be "tamed"? Not by any means. I have always been able to do whatever to the extreme that circumstance required. But even excess needs to be moderated. I have Adventured, suffice to say.
So the questions that rise......will I change? Will I compromise my self inflicted Duty to Honor, Responsibility, Country or God?
NOT ON MY LIFE. But do I see things from a different angle? Can I let go of the "worry" that I have for the Peple that I Love? Yes, I think so. I will be Much more cognizant of the fortes and foibles of the next Woman that I become involved with.
And I will simply be...........Wollf. Accept him as he is, because he isn't anything else. This time I'll buy stronger seeds and tend the garden with all my Soul.
I can take a couple thorns so long as the fruit is sweet.
Rambling, semi-sensical, train of thought, had to get it out Bravo Sierra complete.
Boy-oh, That was a long one. Should I edit for once? Nope.
That, my friends, would be Boring.
G'nite, Back to happy Wollf tomorrow, (wink)
It's just that You're going to get hit with, (Oh Horror!) Philosophy Wollf in the next post. I just have to get the "funny" out.
Now, it "might" take some effort on your part to get the "funny", but it's there. Have I ever lied to you? (I did lie, a teeny bit today, to some Gabachos, but it was to spare their sense of propriety). "Gabachos". It's what "real" Mexicanos call Anglos. Go check it out for yourself.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, "funny".
I decided that I don't respond to Comments often enough. I have been Chastised, and told that it is a Breach of Bloggerite (another made up word, go ahead and use it),
Etquettte. I shall conform.
Besides, sometimes I get some quirky ideas from what you so kindly say. For instance, Wollf?
Like, today, I received two wonderful gifts from Readers. I got "smooches" in the comments from a Pack member! Check it out. Wow, I mean wow! You'll get it.
And then........Notice anything "NEW"? Wollf taps foot expectantly........no, not the Tatto, though I still think it's bitchen cool. Another one MOONED me!!!!
I was sent that pic, and it's by gosh gonna stay up there forever! Or until I get threatened with a lawsuit, or I just get tired of it or sumpthin'.
Oh, as an aside, Bigger Wolfie "almost" got a "clobberin'" today. I stopped by other house and showed him the Tatt. He thought it was "bitchen cool" too. That's a pretty great compliment from a 15 year old........
And then he followed it up with, "Hey, Wollf, you've got some good Guns.........
...........FOR AN OLD GUY"!!!
I musta chased him a quarter mile before we Both fell over laughing and gasping for breath. Ever tell you it's Great being a Dad?
Next up, Philosophy........
Monday, October 22, 2007
I GOT MY TATTOO!! All of the things I've done and gone through in my life. Never had a mark of ink.
That's Changed. My Life's Changed. I thought Long and Hard about it. This was by No means allowed when I was a young Officer, and "Distinguishing Marks" have been frowned upon throughout my "uninteresting" life.
It symbolizes Independence, my freedom to be Wollf as I truly am at heart. A goofy puppy at play, a loving Sire, a Fierce protector, and one day maybe to someone, a Loyal and Loving Mate.
Wollf sings Loudly.
Ya like it?
I can take it, it's like this Blog. I have to do it for Me. If you enjoy it, Blessings are bestowed upon me. If not, I'll just go have some more ice cream.
Wollf's arm hurts a little bit.
Heh, I Love it!
I Know, College Grads. I made it up. But it's a cool word, and I think it should be in your lexicon. (See, I used that one correctly)
I wanted to start out this evening by quickly explaining my self imposed redaction of the picture from one post down. Quite simply, it turned my friggin' stomach. It's a necessary Symbol off the Scum that we are at war with.
It just doesn't belong Here. It belongs mostly on the serious sites. It Belongs on the front page of our Daily Newspapers, it Friggin' Belongs on the cover of Time and Newsweek.
It Belongs in the Halls of Congress and Senate Chambers so that some of those Morons can see WHY WE ARE THERE. These dirtballs would do this to our Women in Our sporting facilities if they had the opportunity.
I HATE them. In Viet Nam we had the Execution picture of a NVA at the hand of Nguyen Ngoc Loan. It symbolize the animal brutality of that war for millions to see. The redacted picture symbolizes the brutality of an entire group of people.
Islamo Fascism. That is what we're fighting. And we cannot give up.
If you want to see this murderous, beastly "Religion of Peace" at its' worst, visit Fighting in the Shade....he's in the Wollf Pack. An excellent read by a Man that I'm coming to respect more and more each time I read a bit more.
We share a lot of life experience and views. This little "Glitch in the Matrix"(copy write pending), is not the place. I'll admit a frailty here.
I'm not healthy enough for that kind of day in and day out writing. If you enjoy my goofy take on life, lots of humor, the occasional philosophical piece, that's what you'll find here at Howling at the Moon. The "rare" rant shall have to suffice.
I've tried to give up Anger, but as time goes by, you'll see me Rage when necessary.
Eff Muslim Fascists. Followers of the Pedophile Prophet.
Ok, bad mood ends.
Wollf takes an ice cream break and comes back with some News.
Oh yeah, Eff Obama...the Barack one. We place our Right hand over our Heart during the National Anthem, you friggin' Feeb.
I May be ranting about this after my work day is done.
I "try" to stay away from the "Heavy" National and World issues on this Blog. Lots of much more eloquent writers out there handle the job quite nicely.
Besides, it just Pi$$es Wollf off. You wouldn't like Wollf very much in Pi$$ed off mode.
I know I don't. Do be aware though. Check out the Lovely Lindasog at Something and Half......
She's in the Wollf Pack Blogroll in the Right margin. She's usually fired up about something that desperately deserves our attention. H/T to Fighting in the Shade. You can see the Poster there. I'll add him also.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
But I'm only gonna tell you two of 'em. First is real easy. I decided on getting the tattoo. Tomorrow night when I post, I shall have a shiny blotch upon my right bicep. I decided to just go with the simple......HowlsatMoon, bordered by a wollf print on each side and tied together with two eagle feathers.
Nothing hanging down, just a band. Once I get it, I'll put up a poll to see if I should. Heh, I planned that out.
The other thing is.........I think I want to go on a date. Oh horrors, you say. Yeah I know, it'll be difficult...........compatibility is a big issue nowadays. Paralleling Life experience and all that. Like Spiritual and Political views.......friggin etc,etc,etc........
How to find a person that I won't bore out of their minds in 30 seconds? A Questionnaire! Like those "dating" sites.................hmmm, I'll have to work up some relevant questions.....
Have you ever been surprised to find yourself landing in a flock of Kurakal 'shaya during a night HALO?
Do you know the maximum Women's 100 meter sprint time to allow for Full scholarship at UCSB? Partial scholarship?
Do you think wearing matching clothing is cool? If it has a Drum Major logo on it?
Do you know what a Kurakal 'shaya is?
Do you like any music by "Phish"?.......(automatic out the door on that one)
Have you ever left a comment using the very original "anonymous" byline? And if you did, what's your motive? Have you ever been to Humboldt County?
You know, just average stuff like that. I gotta go take my shower and hit the rack. Anyone wants to help out with my Questionnaire, feel free in the comments. I could keep this gag running for weeks if you don't.
Heh, goodnite People.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
I am SO proud of Dude. He is "cool"........lucky he took up drums instead of clarinet......oh crap, I'm making fun already....hee hee. Really, his High School Band is "undefeated" in these things so far this year. A wholly talented bunch of youngsters. And the parents? A Darn lot of hard work and dedication to pull these things off. So, heartfelt kudos to the kids and the parents involved.
That being said, Whoa! Two seconds into the stadium, Lil' Wolfie whispers eerily, "I SEE GEEKY PEOPLE........" That, unfortunately set the tone of humor for the hour that we hung out.
And see them, and interact with them, we did. People get so into this! Matching tee shirts, "I Heart Flutes" beanies, necklaces with trombones on them. Grown people wearing feather boas in their Band colors.
Fellow leans over to us and says, "Hey, guys. You might wanna move over to the "other" section. We're kinda partial to Camarillo here."
Holy smokes, we were accosted by a Band Nerd. I was out of my element. USC game wearing my 'Zona colors? Not a problem. Bring it on. But this? The dude was 5'7'', 120 pounds, wearing a powder blue tee shirt with a stylized Drum Major on it. Intimidating.
We beat a cowardly retreat to the "safe" section of the stands. Lil' Wolfie noted that the guy was "spooky". Hey, I wasn't afraid for me. We just moved for the safety of my child. Yeah, that's it.
So, we watched, and thoroughly enjoyed the performance, only cheered in the wrong place twice. Yup, we were resoundingly "shooshed", and made our way to the snack bar. Whew, familiar territory at last. Ate a couple chili dogs, visited with Bigger and his band buddies, and swung over for Lil' Wolfie to say hey to his momma.
Ice daggers!! Not from Shewho won'tbenamed, but the rest of the Geek Squad. What did I do? Why the feeling of animosity? Well, we took our leave and headed back to the truck. As we did so, it struck me.
The bumper stickers told the story. "Bushitler", "Leave Iraq Now!", "Peace through Negotiation"..ets, etc.
Me, not wearing the standard Band Parent gear. I suppose that I "might" have stood out wearing my cammo cargo shorts, USMC-Peace Through Superior Firepower tee, and my Genuine "NCIS Sent me to Kuwait, Those Bastards" cammo Booney hat.
Note to self: Camouflage is wearing whatever it takes to Blend in. I have a few more of these to attend..........hmmmmm,
Anybody know where I can find a "I Heart John Philip Sousa" sweatshirt?
G'nite, have good dreams, be good People.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Wow, oh wow. One thing led to another, and a concerned, political blog degenerated into an Eff fest. Can't say the Dirtbag didn't deserve it. Actually, I could.......but I agreed completely with the Eff bomber. I am simply not that eloquent. Maybe I can take an extension course at the local JC?
Now of course, that little episode itself is not what I wanted to write about. I wanted to ask the question that most of you, I imagine, have wondered from time to time...............
Who the hell is this "Anonymous" guy that leaves comments on Every body's Blog? Dude is Busy! Think I'm pulling your leg? Pick a Blog at random. Go ahead............Ok, you're back.
See? You check the comments anywhere, the guy is running Rampant I tell you. He can't Possibly be gainfully employed. So.........Enough on this weirdo, but if anybody knows him, let me know. I want to talk to him.
I'm afraid he's possibly trying to "Hide" something. But what? Think, Wollf, Think !!Then........today in that "comments" section I was writing about earlier...................
I find out that there's More than One! Well, not actually. Seems I met the Real Anonymous. I know, because he signed his post that way. And if, as he says he's the real deal, then there's an Impostor out there. Maybe more than one.
Maybe two or Three! Like an identity theft "Ring"!! Sure, you think I'm a little loopy, that I'm just another "Conspiracy Theorist". No !! You've got to trust me on this. Look at the facts. One man, and I don't care How dedicated he is, CANNOT write all those comments, every single day. Even if he's on some Senator's payroll, or working some sort of Gummint Black Op.
Do you understand? Logic, People. It would take at least Two or Three counterfeit "Anonymous's" to do this kind of damage. That's why I want to talk this guy. I need to find out what his plan is. Don't worry, I'll take full responsibility and leave you all with plausible deniability. Wollf has your backs.
We have to band our knowledge together. If Everybody cooperates, I'm sure that we can......
Oh, Never mind.
I want some ice cream.
Back in a bit.
Besides, Bigger Wolfie's over this evening and I'm introducing him to "Lethal Weapon", the movie. Amazing how time flies. He's never seen one of the really good ones.....heh.....and he's friggin' Hooked!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Nah, why ruin the fun. It was all in all quite fun. Lil' Wolfie got into an odd mood, and decided to be the Maitre' D, waiter and busboy all in one. He did a fine job. We even tipped him two bucks.
He of course lost it before we got back to the truck.
Yup, I drive a truck. Did you picture anything else? It's just always made sense to me. I'm a product of my environment, I suppose. I ever tell you that I am a 'Zonan? Indeed I am. Born on the outskirts of Tombstone, Arizona, raised and lived in Tucson for 30 years. I do have a bit of Cowboy in me, though I like to think that I'm a "bit" more cultured than the stereotype.
Yes, I have rodeo'd. Yes, I ride a horse like I was born in the saddle, and yes, I do own a Peacemaker, the real McCoy, 45 caliber, single action Colt. Made in 1892. Perfectly functional, well oiled and loaded. Yes, I like "smokey old pool rooms, children an 'girls of the night'"
But, as usual, that's not what I wanted to talk about tonite..............I seem to have rambled, imagine that, and gotten off track. And Now, I've got to go on down the hill.
Regulars got my schedule worked out yet? If it's Thursday, I must be going to get Bigger from Band practice. Maybe shewhowon'tbenamed is right. I'm just not interesting enough. But Somebody's got to step up to the plate.
I'll be back shortly, maybe I'll write some more if there's interest.
Road trip idea! Hell, I own a coupla Sweet time shares, one in Tahoe and one "anywhere". Tahoe sounds pretty good. 'Bout 5 hours drive through some pretty country, or jump in the plane.
Hmmm..........I might Definitely be able to get used to this. If I feel like going, there's No one to have to plan around. Cubs want to come, there's always room.
I am definitely going to have to digest this new thing. I Really Can, up and go Whenever, Where ever and However I want. And..........I've got the Two bedroom suite in Tahoe any two weeks of the year.
I have got to go.
Oh yeah, to get Bigger, too.
I decided to get the tattoo
Frank, Deano, Sammy, Peter and Joey. The Rat Pack, the Original Ocean's Eleven, Robin and the Seven Hoods. No, George Clooney wasn't in it, you're thinking the remake of Oceans....why do I get stuck with being the historian?
Had to get that blurb in quickly, cuz I have a date tonite. Beautiful young woman. Professes her never ending love for Wollf. She'll probably move in with me. She's asked, I said I'd think about it.
Think I'm moving too fast? I don't. She's already got my last name. PSYCH!! I have a dinner date with my she-cub. Joy of joys! Gonna probably take K....oops, Lil' Wolfie too. Sorry, almost said his name....it's just such a cool name....actually, All of three homebounds have great names.
Not your usual lot of family name, to be sure. Bigger is the most common for sure, but even his is rather unique. Wanna guess? Ok, Oldest to youngest, first letters are....A.....M.......K. Knock yourselves out. Nobody gets all three.
Anyway, I have to cut out of here right away, so as not to keep a Lady waiting.
Got you, though, didn't I? I'm ready, I think, now for a "friendly" relationship with a Lady. I'm going to just be myself, for once in a long time, and I figure there's Someone out there.
Wolf, remember? I like to interact with the pack.
See you after dinner.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Nope, I just got back and reread the last two posts. Believe it or not, there were s'posed to be some salient thought involved, but between Bigger and L'il Wolfies, hardly a thought was properly aimed at target.
Come on,............ok, smarty pants, You try to write something of interest to yourself or Anyone else while concurrently trying to figure in your head "What word, when you add One 'S' becomes plural, but if you add Two 'S's becomes singular?" ........AND, "Hey Sire,( no, they don't really call me Sire...it's the friggin' Wolf theme, my goodness).....
Where was I? Oh right, "Hey Dad, (better?), what's the square root of Three?"
It's a friggin' wonder I wrote a paragraph. It really is bad, though, and I shall Not redact it. I wrote it. I'll force myself to occasionally read it just to spite myself. So there you have it.
Oh, the other thing. I just looked at my profile. "Accounting"??? I am as Far from being an Accountant as can possibly be. One of you Jesters out there figure a way to do that? Humph, I'm friggin' mortified.
I happen to run a division of a "vewwy" large firm in the construction industry. Got an office with THREE windows in it. (that was a super secret inside shout out to a certain TW), and I make a "vewwy" comfortable living. But Accountant? Numbers? Math?
Never! I better change that right away. Gotta do the Links list too. I read and Love quite the Eclectic set of Writers here in the Matrix. (as you could never guess by my "One Subject Rants")
If you'd like to be included in the Wollfe Pack...lol.....note me in the comments.
Going to get all soapy and clean now.
Nothin' else to say.
Oh, except..........The square root of three? 1.73
Anytime, I'm here for you.
Howz about my road trip ideas?
Things happen. People change. Things change. I have no desire to go back to a place that has caused me and shewhowon'tbenamed so much emotional disruption and pain.
But I Refuse to pretend that twenty years does not exist. This, dear Wink, is definitely Not at time for Forgetting. I will cherish her name, even as I won't speak it here. I will fondly remember the wonderful times, the trips, births of cubs, walks, conversations. The overcoming of the "tough" times together.
Too bad really, that she doesn't understand this. Or...........quite possibly, Ol' Wolfie is just full of shi-ite. Maybe I should be angry, refuse to care At All. But I think I've come too far on my journey. She's gone. I've accepted. I'll move on............soon?
But I'll honor, if not her actions and decisions, her memory.
Now for News........... I just absolutely think that it is outrageously cool that the Newest Big thing was unveiled this week, as was the Oldest Big thing. Airbus delivered its first Super Goshdarn Humongous airplane, the A380. 239 feet long.......a football field is 300.
And, Paleontologists discovered a new/old Dinosaur species. Big old Diplodocus lookin' critter, and 150 feet long. Great fun.
Then Ellen Degenerus.......forget it, I can't spell her name, and the story's pretty stupid too.
I am about ready for some fun. Think I'll plan a road trip. Ideas anyone?
Takin' Cubs back down the hill..............bummer
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Oops, 'scuse me a moment. Turn your backs and don't look. That Includes You, Frau M. (Inside joke to the One person that actually knows me, heh) Oh, yeah, hold on.............................
There that's better. You can turn around and read now. Oh, don't look so disappointed. Ask Frau M, "I ain't All That". (ain't that Bad either, lol)
So, what's up for tonite? One subject was inadvertently given to me by someone that I owe a coffee.
Honor. .......and Celebrity. It seems from all the headline that we read, that the two are mutually exclusive. Hugh Grant with hookers, Paris with her panties, Britney and rehab, O J and "How he would've done it", ad infinitum..........................................Until:
Kiefer Sutherland. Now, hold on, I know what you're thinking. (I've read your blogs, remember?) Yes, he was arrested AGAIN for DUI. Yes that's bad. In fact, it's friggin inexcusable.
Anyone who has ever driven a vehicle, (or in my case a horse....don't laugh, it was against the law, but at least he knew his way home.......where was I?) Oh yeah. If you've driven drunk, you were three paragraphs beyond stupid.
You needlessly risked your life, other People's lives and most importantly, My life and the lives of my cubs. So, if you have, and you know who you are, consider yourself Wollf slapped. Don't do it again. I like you, and I need the readers.
Baaack to Kiefer. Dude has a problem. Hasn't been able to shake the alcohol demon as of yet. But,
He has HONOR. He didn't hire expensive legal counsel, he didn't play the "I have a disease" card, he didn't plea for mercy. He didn't whine.
He plead No Contest. Took the beating he deserves. No ankle bracelet, no fourteen minutes in the jail anteroom sentence. He's doing Time. As Regular time as it's possible for a "target" like him to do. 48 days, I think.
Honor. He plead out the No Contest as a deal. Not for him, remember, Money=Get off scott free.
For the hundreds of regular People who would be financially and professionally affected if his Show, 24, couldn't shoot because he was out for a week or so during its' filming schedule.
So he took the full Monty in order that he could do his time during the shows' hiatus. And the grips and the best boys and the caterers, makeup People, carpenters, stuntmen, dressers, cameramen.......etc, forever......would still get a paycheck.
It wasn't their fault that he was stupid, that he has a "disease". He took responsibility and showed that he has Honor.
Wollf howls in respect for the little guy. You're stupid, Kiefer, but in my Log, you're a Man. I pray that you defeat your demons. You've shown guts. You can do it.
I'll talk again in a bit. Gotta have a few drinks......kidding.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Well, Here I am. I need to finish the thought I was having when I was looking up that quote. As anyone who has been bored enough to read the early posts on this silly little thing knows, I have been moving steadily, with a few setbacks, out of one of the "many" dark times in my life.
Not to panic, I won't bore with another recitation. It's all there, spilt upon the ground of this "ones and zeroes" world. Binary i suppose, is the word. The purpose of this "hopefully" short post is to simply say "Thank you".
You all have helped to "rekindle" my inner spirit. Some of you have commented, some of you have e-mailed, some of you have "gently" chastised, or praised, or.......just hung around, finding something that piqued your interest. Heck, a bunch simply got their Google search all messed up, traveled through a digital worm hole and landed here in Wolfie land.
Then, split as quickly as they realized that they were in a "wrong" place for them.
I write as much for the People that have absolutely no interest in my drivel as I do for those quirky Souls that find this train wreck of a Blog interesting. Because, at the end of the day, I Have to write. A lot of our (is there such a thing as the "Royal" "our"?) regulars are also driven to write.
That's where the Magic is. This place that we're sharing is The Matrix. We're each different, disparate People, who for G-d knows how or why, have "found" a little tiny piece of each other.
We may well never meet out there in "Reality". But we have the chance through this medium to share almost anything with People we don't know.........and yet come to care Deeply about. I have read the essays and poems and humor and sorrows and political concerns of everyone who has posted.
If someone hasn't posted in a while, I wonder if they're doing well. I hope that they're too busy having a good time, or bettering themselves or their situation, that their dad is ok, or that they're winning their inner battle, or that their friggin' hamster is ok.
I've teased People, I've joked with People, I've been "told" that I've amused People or even made them Think in a different way. I like to think that I may even in some itty way, "helped" someone who is on the same, yet completely different Journey as I.
I've conversed with and been "accepted" by a few of what anyone with an ounce of sense would call "Bloggers of Renown". Serious People with Serious political and social concerns.
Essayists or Humorists or Poets or Pundits would be more correct. This Matrix allows us All to instantaneously touch the Souls of "millions" of People. (ok, in my case Three or Four). But they are Capital "threes or fours" of People.
I don't feel the need to make a grand political statement, I don't have the knowledge to advise on the current loan crisis, or the state of our union or even how to properly prepare a meal for twenty, (unless we're talkin' MRE's) or write Poetry that makes you cry............I'll try to leave that to the People that are much more talented than I.
I'm just a guy. A guy whose heart has been busted, and is slowly, ever so slowly, putting it back together again..............
I'm just a Man. A Man who wants to be a better Dad and a better Friend. A Man who is desperately searching for the definition of Love............
I'm just a wolf. An alpha male who has to protect his own, wreak his vengeance, dispel his urges, who needs his solitude almost as much as he needs his pack...............
I'm just a boy. Older than I seem. Younger than I am.
All of you Folkes have blown on the embers of my Soul whether you know it or not. My fire is rekindled.........thanks to you.
We all sing the same song, with different lyrics.
Wolff is Done being reflective for a bit.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Later found out that he definitely wasn't, but when it came to his three daughters, beautiful I might add, he made sure we All bought into the myth.
I and many other Fathers have used parts of this hilarious list in "friendly" conversation with boyfriends. I call them all by their Amerind names,
"HewhoIallow Tolive"..........catchy, isn't it? Enjoy........unless you have a soon to be dating daughter, in which case........Burn it in your Memory.
Now as for Wollf, I seem to have a great amount of Forgiveness in me. It may have entirely too much to do with the Forgetfulness that is so manifest in my ADD nature.
Heh....Especially when it comes to the people that I truly care about.
Now that I'm being "treated", I'm able to focus on memories quite a bit better. Twenty years, even in the Best of relationships, can build up a huge number of resentments. With me, they weren't abundant. With Shewhowon'tbenamed, they piled to the clouds.
The key, in my less than humble opinion, is forgetting. Realize, that I didn't have to do the hard work of setting aside petty annoyances. I was simply "blessed" with two separate incidents of major head trauma. One, a less than friendly Brahma bull, and the other, a less that flight worthy Huey UH-1.
More on those stories as this Blog evolves, I'm sure. (Man of Mystery)....heh
Anyway, there really is a point. I probably should save the serious subject matter for Muggle days.
The way the human mind seems to work, we Cannot Forgive that which we cannot Forget. It is clear to me that once we make a conscious and spiritual decision to forgive someone, we should be Honor bound to do as Beecher says. Tear it up and burn it.
Put it out of your mind and up on a back shelf if necessary, but never look at it again. It's not fair to the person you have forgiven to bring it up again. Difficult? I'm sure it is, but if you have Honor, it can be done. The longer you avoid thinking about it, the more it fades into memory.
If you can't seem to shake it, if the bad memory of a wrong keeps popping into your mind...........you haven't actually Forgiven, have you? Forgive me, if you will, for writing this tonight. It's wholly selfish on my part.
You see, the She-cub is having a difficult time with BoywhoIallow Tolive, and something he did to hurt her feelings. She told him that she forgave him, but continues to make him suffer. (not that I really care, he's not good enough forher anyway....heh, Who amongst Mortals is?)
I needed to work this out for me, so that I can help her to be a better Woman. I think the bottom line is that she has "accepted his apology", but she refuses to "forgive" him.
Seems I've seen that situation before.......hmmmm, oh well, I'm sure it'll come to me.
Done with serious. Taking a break.
Smokes if you got 'em.
Don't eat the C-rats, they're WWII.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
The Author of which was Richard Bach.
My first born child wrote it in her Journal two months before she died. I thought it was hers. She lived her life like that. She was a Poet, a Child, a Sailor, a Cop. She's been gone now for going on four years. I miss her and think of her often. Today will be one of those days.
Her cats' name was Rommel. Her Love was a G-Man. Her writing was intense. I think I miss her most when I want to share an odd thought..........
I'm not sad anymore. I wish she were here. She understands.
I hope "they" think I'm crazy when my time comes.............
Thanks.......(?).......to anonymous for the info. Doesn't change the posts' emotion.
So he looks up at me and asks, "What does Abridged mean, Wollf?" Wel, I explained that it didn't contain all of the words, it was a shorter version with only the more prevalent words in it.
He then said, "So.....it doesn't include the letters "Q" and "X"?" , followed immediately with a stone serious, "And i suppose it's cheaper too...." I truly almost had a hernia, I was laughing so hard. I Love that cub.
This is going to look like an All Lil' Wolfie, All the Time posting tonite.........way random, and if you're new, just follow the thread, (that's blog talk for keep reading backwards), to understand the Totality of the randomness. I personally am enjoying it.
It's kind of like letting your Labrador off the leash in the woods. He just runs and runs, with a huge grin on his face from the sheer Joy of being free. He'll eventually calm down and come back to you, exhausted and happy that he was able to go Wherever he wanted.
Oh yeah, Lil' Wolfie. I sometimes, (No, not with shewhowon'tbenamed), run a new Amerind name by him for his thumbs up/down. He gave me one the other day and I had to write it down.
Has a nice ring to it. He wants that to be Bigger Wolfies' name on this blog. I was duly impressed with the little guy. Then I asked him what it meant to him.
"Oh Dad, I'd rather not say". I of course pursued, knowing with Fatherly instinct that "Sumthin" was up by the curl of his upper lip. What does it mean?
It means that his brother is so full of "crap" that he can't fly..................Not to worry, you doubters, Yes I explained that it was improper to speak of his elder brother in such a disparaging way.
Ok, After laughing loooong and hard with him over it. Hey, I'm not perfect. Now you know.
Lil' Wolfie........sheesh he's gettin' bigger.......just launched himself onto my shoulders.....had to rewrite the last paragraph. That's a first. Everybody take note:
Wollf Howlsatmoon "Edited" before posting.
We have to take an ice cream break. I have Haagen Daz Banana Split. Lil' has Choco Chip Cookie Dough.
Yum. See you in a bit for the next installment of..........."What is He Talking About??"
Oh, and guess what I took holiday from today?
I'm back. Yup, it was a Muggle patch Holiday. Picked up Lil' Wolfie down the hill this morning at 0900, and he's with me till tomorrow pretty much whenever I decide to take him back to Shewhois Missinganempathy Chip.
Warning, I have No idea where this is gonna go tonite, but oh my, That one really sounds like a True Amerind Name. Feel free to pronounce it in your head any way you wish. I'm sure that it will sound nicer than the single syllable word starting with a "B" that I was thinking for a part of the day.
And then USC went and defeated, (barely) my poor little Arizona Wildcats. Barely for the "Cats is a major emotional victory. You see, when it comes to football, they perennially "suck". But I cheer for them anyway. Oh bother.
Where were we? Oh yeah, K............oops again, Lil' Wolfie has been with me all day, and it has been the Adventure. He's not sure, but he "thinks" he likes his Sire better sans patch. Says that I'm "funnier".......in a "Random" sort of way.
He shows no sign of ADD, but he's intelligent and open enough to totally get it. And just "twisted" enough to really think it's humorous. He helps me quite a bit. Not even remotely shy about stopping me in mid sentence with an announcement of, "RANDOM!".
I think I'll post this now and come back to it. Not as though I have to keep a flow going tonite, because.........."RANDOM!"..........see how that works?
Wow, I just did. I've got one of those "body" pillows.
It's quite comfortable.
It ain't a "body". The nights here are starting to become chill.
What to do.............Especially after last nite's post.
Well, I'm not lookin' for one nighters, anyway. Heck, it'd probably be a "good" idea
to avoid sex and intimacy for a bit.
Are you nuts? Ok,.........Maybe you're right. I not ready...but Somethin' happened to me last night. Bears further study.
How about a Snuggle Buddy?
Have some breakfast
Remember the orange juice
Give yor Love
Friday, October 12, 2007
Just as below, imagine the dots to be wollf prints.
Better? Sheesh, you people, The Tattoo..........
I Love you all.......some more than others, but whose counting?
I oughta go. I am annoyed as hll at Shewhowon'tbenamed.
Irresponsible. Once again chooses her "happy" guage over what's right and Honorable.
This time affecting the cubs. Going to the USC football game with friends instead of supporting Bigger Wolfie in his competition. Do I step up and bail her out?
No Friggin' way. But, you know that I'll change my plans and take care of Bigger's needs.
Unfortunately, doing the Right and Honorable thing for Wolfie sends the wrong friggin' message
to his playgirl mom.
Shi-ite Militia!!! What to do? Have her car stolen or impounded while she's down their?
(yes, I have that ability)..............It's just Childish
Maybe back later.