Moonrise

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Ok, this one is a bit more fun......

I've had my fill of Politics and Protests and all the Bravo Sierra that goes with them.......

But, for my Dear Friendlies up in the Chi-Town area.....who can resist making fun of your Bleak, or is that *black* situation.....this from one of your newspapers.....

And then it gets Better....ol' Blaggo goes and appoints a successor to Obamas seat...Roland Burris, a guy who can't remember giving $14 grand to Blaggo, then,

Rep. Bobby Rush, D-Ill., is urging Senate leaders not to block the appointment of Roland Burris, pointing out that he would be the only black member of the chamber, that he didn't want Burris "Lynched, or Hanged"...

Listen up, A-Hole, we just elected the first African American as President of the United States.....put that Race Card back in your very own Racist pocket where it belongs.

Remember that not long ago, ol' Roland famously caused a controversy by referring to his Democratic primary opponents -- Jim Burns, Glenn Poshard (who eventually won the nomination) and John Schmidt -- as "non qualified white boys."

It doesn't work anymore. I hope that All American People take note of who the Racists really are. Burris and Rush are punks, plain and simple. Blaggo is a crook in the finest Chi-Town political tradition, and I'm G-dawful tired of the protest that's on the horizon for this poor great grandson of a slave.

Think I'll do a pre-emtory Protest......wanna join?

Besides, it seems to me that the Seat has actually been vacated by a "Half White" African American.....where's the "Justice" for "Our" half of the Seat?

To play fair, they have only one well known candidate for the vacancy.....

Senator Tiger Woods. No, I'm not kidding all that much. He has almost as much experience as Obama had.....and just as much, although he's notably more intelligent than Caroline Kennedy, heir apparent in New York.

I need a drink.
Wollf

Happy New Year.......

From Wollf and his Dragn.....we're off to start the New Year together....

Hope that you Folkes will be a part of it.

*It's Good to find the Yin to your Yang....*

Monday, December 29, 2008

Then We Got Lost..........

And that is how most of our Grand Adventures begin....by getting lost, I mean....

Coming home from the London Bridge, Arizona that is, in two vehicles, Dragn was excited to be able to drive on historic Highway 66.....we took the turn off, and cruised along not knowing or really caring what to expect, crossed the Colorado back into Arizona again.....kinda the wrong way for heading back to the Lair...but heck,

We found Oatman. The town. Well kinda a town. I think it's biggest claim to fame is that it's a magnet to wild Burros....as in those lil' Donkey critters....for a buck you buy a bag of carrots and have a friend for Life....or at least the life of the bag of carrots.

Lil' Wolfie and the Dragonlings loved 'em......

Absolutely adorable critters, semi domesticated, soft and aching for attention.....and carrots. They're wild, but they know what side their carrot is buttered. In another location, they might well be seen as large, hoofed vermin, but in Oatman.....they rule.

Then, after exploring the town abit, and making more hoofed friends, not to mention running into an old adventurer friend....in the frigging middle of Nowhere, the Cubs and Dragonlings looked up and saw.......this.

"Can we hike up it, Wollf?"
It was pretty imposing, and after discussing the parameters of the hike itself, the time involved and the possible dangers.......The Four Bigger Wolfie and the Dragonlings decided to hang around in town while Lil'Wolfie the 11yr old and I scoped it out.

Poor Dragn........she'd have loved it, but Lil'Wofie decided that it might be too dangerous for her and the other older "Boyz"......at least we took the video camera.

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Adventure......ahhhh....getting lost is half the recipe.....

Oh, and after you're done fuming at me, check the comments, won't ya?
Happy New Year coming soon.......
Wollf

All I have to say.......


Not feeling like dwelling on the "current" troubles facing Israel and Palestine. Besides, it will Never be over.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas.......

From the London Bridge......I'll post later when I have time.....two Cubs, three Dragnlings and a Dragn with a sniffly nose.....but she's atrooper.......

To all my Democrat friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes.

To all my Republican friends:

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year
Wollf

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Vacation.......

Hory Clap....I'm on vacation. No, Really....off work for nine days, taking the Cubs and the Dragnlings, along with Dragn of course, to the London Bridge over Christmas.......figured it would be a suitable place to spend the Holiday.

My Posting may be sporadic, although....hey, I'm ADD remember, it may be profuse....we'll simply see. I need a vacation srsly. And with Cubs and Dragnlings.....and of course Dragn her own self.......well, it should be down right wonderful.

Wish me luck, I'll fill you in after a bit. Didi I tell you about my Dad, the Sar'Major, giving Dragn an accordion? What? Yup, that's what I said too......don't be concerned, it'll make sense next time I write......promise......and it's fnny as heck.

Merry Christmas again,
Wollf

Lauren Rose is Wonderful Fun.......

And, because, for all you Christians out there......tonight is the beginning of Hanukkah, and I have the backs f our Jewish Brothers and Sisters......remember, we're a Judeo-Christian country......and also because Ms. Rose is way way way talented and.......well......uh.........Hawt.

Dontcha agree?

Come one, even you Ladies agree......I'm not being a lecher here......
Happy Hanukkah....Merry Christmas. We're all in this together, dontcha know........

Wollf

Friday, December 19, 2008

You Knew I couldn't resist This.......

Shepherd controls flock with wolf poster

A picture of a shepherd controlling his flock with a poster of a wolf has become an online hit in China.

Du Hebing, of Xi'an, told Huashang Daily that he shot the picture by chance.

"After visiting Qinling Wild Animal Park, on the way home I saw a group of sheep walking along the road with a man holding a picture following behind them," he said.

Du said he burst out laughing when he realised it was a picture of a wolf.

"The man was using the wolf picture to scare the sheep and drive them ahead - it was a really funny scene," he said.

"Maybe he was just trying to save some money by not buying a sheepdog - but he is obviously a talented shepherd."

And a very good likeness of your Humble Scribe, I might add.....

The Twelve Days of Christmas.....

The Real story.... I mean Really! What you gonna do with Twelve Lord a'leaping?

*Now the Maids a'milking?.....hmmmmm*


Runs and hides.
Wollf

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It just isn't Christmas......

Without our old friend Achmed the Dead Terrorist singing "Jingle Bombs"....Lil' Wolfies very favorite Christmas Carol......

Got a feeling they won't be singing it at Services on Christmas Eve.....oh well, you can't have everything.

Wollf

When I was a Kid.......

Hey....Warning, this comedy sketch about Christmas contains the "F" word, so if you're one of my Cubs......you've probably never heard that word before....so just skip this one.

Yeah, right.

Old school toys equals Darwinism at its best.


Wollf.....back to PG-13, although that may have been within the parameters....

Because You Asked for it.......

Ok.....I admit....Nobody asked for this, absolutely Nobody.

But after the Sheep doing Jingle Bells, aren't you even slightly curious to hear what it would sound like being performed by eighty some microvaves?

Come on People!! Get in the Spirit. Nothing says the Holidays like "DING!!"


UPDATE: Robin was right. The note was in my back pocket. I also found my screw driver.....Thanks.

Wollf

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Some things........

Are probably best left Unposted.....but what the heck, where the hell else you gonna be able to enjoy these little tidbits of insanity.

A Musical Interlude....one that somehow piques Ol Wollf's appetite. Nothing says Lunchtime at the Holidays like Sheep singing Jingle Bells......


*And not a Sheepdog in sight.........*
Wollf

Santa gots a new Tattoo........

And so can you....just hit the clicky thingie to see some Santa Belly....at
Christmas Tattoo ....

Ok, dumb, dumb, dumb.

The Brave, Brave Arab......

Ok, so this has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas.......well, except that I lourves to laugh at Arabs and snakes are cool, and......hmmm, I guess I was right the first time.

I watched it over and over.......

Yannow....G-d might get me for this, but it seems to me that I remember Monkeys faint at the sight of snakes too.....
Wollf

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Wrapping Presents at the Lair....

With Uber Dog and Ransom Kitteh.....H/T to everyone on the net that has written their version of this....

1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, scissors, tape, etc. in middle of living room floor.
2. Get tape back from Kitteh.
3. Remove scissors from Dog's mouth.
4. Open box.
5. Take Kitteh out of box.
6. Remove tape from Dog's mouth.
7. Take scissors away from Kitteh.
8. Put present in box.
9. Remove present from Kitteh's mouth.
10. Put back in box after removing Kitteh from box.
11. Take scissors from Dog and sit on them.
12. Remove Kitteh from box and put on lid.
13. Take tape away from Dog.
14. Unroll paper.
15. Take Kitteh OFF box.
16. Cut paper being careful not to cut Kitteh's foot or nose that is getting in the way as he "helps."
17. Let Kitteh and Dog tear remaining paper.
18. Take Kitteh off box.
19. Wrap paper around box.
20. Remove Kitteh from box & take wrapping paper from Dog's mouth.
21. Tell Dog to fetch the tape so he will stop stealing it.
22. Take scissors away from Kitteh.
23. Take tape Dog is holding....after chasing him down.
24. Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from Dog & sitting on them again.
25. Fend off Kitteh trying to steal tape & tape another spot. Take bow from Dog.
27. Go get roll of wrapping paper Kitteh ran off with.
28. Take scissors from Dog who took them when you got up and ran down the stairs.
29. Give pen to Dog to hold so he stops licking your face.....then realise mistake and chase him down the stairs, retrieve pen.......
30. Remove Kitteh from present & hurriedly slap tape on to hold the paper on.
31. Take now soggy bow from Dog & tape on since the sticky stuff no longer sticks.
32. Take pen from Dog who stole it again, address tag & affix while Kitteh tries to eat pen.
33. Grab present before Kitteh opens it & put it away.
34. Clean up mess Kitteh and Dog made playing tug-of-war with remnants of wrapping paper.
35. Put away rest of wrapping supplies & tell Kitteh and Dog what good helpers they are.

Put present away so Kitteh and Dog don't get it....promptly forget where I hid it........Open Beer.

Drink.
Repeat.

Wish Dragn was here

*note to self....buy more gift bags....write down where I hide things.....don't lose note telling me where I hide things......*
Dammit, where'd I put that note?
Wollf

PS: Rose.....I already checked in the refridgerator behind the milk.
Sheesh

Perry Como, anyone?



Little music for the Season
Wollf

Some Christmas News.......


LONDON, Dec. 14 (UPI) --
Workers in London paid to offer poor Christmas present wrapping services through CrapWrap say customers will get exactly what they expect.

Wrapper Kevin Smith said those who decide to pay for the $5.90 holiday service from Firebox.com will receive a gift wrapped with little or no skill so any individual can claim to have wrapped it themselves, The Mail on Sunday reported.

"I am rubbish," Smith said of his gift-wrapping skills. "We're not given any instructions. I'm just asked to make a hash of it, using lots of brown tape and making sure there are rips and untidy folds."

Firebox spokeswoman Claire Wood said by offering the service, husbands and boyfriends worldwide can make it appear they took the time to personally, albeit poorly, wrap gifts for their loved ones.

"Nearly as many people are asking for CrapWrap as for our normal gift-wrap," Wood told the Mail. "Women like to think that their husbands and boyfriends took the trouble to wrap the present themselves, even if they made an appalling hash of it."

*Personally, Ol Wollf has discovered the joy of Christmas Bags....yup, "I am rubbish" at wrapping also.......*
Heh......

Oh, but coming up? How to wrap with Uber and Ransom in the room......
Wollf

Monday, December 15, 2008

Don't Mess with Santa........

Espescially if he happens to be out collecting in front of a Karate School........

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Ho, Ho, Ho
Wollf

Maybe a bit Too much time on their hands.....

But, damm....it's impressive.

I didn't do nearly as much at the Lair this year....just enough to have more than anybody else on the street, and of course to keep Lil'Wolfie satisfied.

Oh, by the way, it's raining like heck down here this morning......
Brrrrr.
Wollf

Friday, December 12, 2008

A Christmas Gift for all of You.........

The all new 100% Green way to clean your computer monitor. Ok, maybe it's Orange, but you get the point.....

Ransom of Red Chief, the windows washer.......


Hey, I thought it was time for a bit of "cute"....and this is it.
Holly Jolly!!
Wollf

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Barack and his Innertubes Address.....

Simply, the way it should be.......

Made more sense, didn't it?
Wollf

Bailey the Unknown Reindeer......

With music by Harry Connick Jr.........

Sure looked more like a Dawg to me....didn't see any antlers, not once.

Not so much funny, as just plain fun.
Wollf

MKV....the next step in warfare?

Hory Double Bad smelly Clap!!!!!
Lockheed Martin and Raytheon are both working on Multiple Kill Vehicles.....unmanned, Robotic Machine Guns that hover in the air and shoot the Living Shi-ite out of their targets. Meant, at least for now, to be shot into space to assist in shooting down enemy missiles at their highest point.

This is a video of the LM unit tested at Edwards Air Force Base on December 2, 2008.
You are not going to believe it......


I would not want to be on the receiving end of this Terminator nightmare....Nope, no way....No Sirree.

Now, why, you ask, is Wollf posting this Militaria when he's promised fun Christmassy stuff? Simple.......

I WANT ONE.....PLEASE?????
Heh,
Wollf

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Something just for Dragn......


Oh.....don't freak out on me, not gonna be all mushy and adult like....I am Wollf, after all.....She happens to be a Music Director....and one of her Sons happens to play the Trombone.

Trombones are not for sissies. This Boy has got to be forewarned of the inherent danger of off the cuff Trombone Improvisation.......Besides, I lourves the 1812 Overture......In the News..........with a bit of license.

MONTEVIDEO, URUGUAY - Paolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Uruguay, in a misplaced moment of inspiration decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired as part of the orchestra's performance of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture at an outdoor children's concert. In complete seriousness he placed a large, ignited firecracker, which was equivalent in strength to a quarter stick of dynamite, into his aluminum straight mute and then stuck the mute into the bell of his quite new Yamaha in-line double-valve bass trombone.

Later, from his hospital bed he explained to a reporter through bandages on his mouth, "I thought that the bell of my trombone would shield me from the explosion and instead, would focus the energy of the blast outwards and away from me, propelling the mute high above the orchestra, like a rocket."

However, Paolo was not up on his propulsion physics nor qualified to use high-powered artillery and in his haste to get the horn up before the firecracker went off, he failed to raise the bell of the horn high enough so as to give the mute enough arc to clear the orchestra.

What actually happened should serve as a lesson to us all during those delirious moments of divine inspiration.

First, because he failed to sufficiently elevate the bell of his horn, the blast propelled the mute between rows of players in the woodwind and viola sections of the orchestra, missing the players and straight into the stomach of the conductor,..... driving him off the podium and directly into the front row of the audience.

Fortunately, the audience were sitting in folding chairs and thus they were protected from serious injury, for the chairs collapsed under them passing the energy of the impact of the flying conductor backwards into the row of people sitting behind them, who in turn were driven back into the people in the row behind and so on, like a row of dominos. (Physics, Folks...like ol' Paolo didn't study....)

The sound of collapsing wooden chairs and grunts of people falling on their behinds increased logarithmically, adding to the overall sound of brass cannons and brass playing as constitutes the amazing closing measures of the Overture.

Meanwhile, all of this unplanned choreography not withstanding, back on stage Paolo's Waterloo was still unfolding.

According to Paolo, "Just as the I heard the sound of the blast, time seemed to stand still. Everything moved in slow motion. Just before I felt searing pain to my mouth, I could swear I heard a voice with a Austrian accent say "Fur every akshon zer iz un eekvul un opposeet reakshon!"

Well, this should come as no surprise, for Paolo had set himself up for a textbook demonstration of this fundamental law of physics. Having failed to plug the lead pipe of his trombone, he allowed the energy of the blast to send a super heated jet of gas backwards through the mouth pipe of the trombone, which exited the mouthpiece burning his lips and face.

The pyrotechnic ballet wasn't over yet.

The force of the blast was so great it split the bell of his shiny Yamaha right down the middle, turning it inside out while at the same time propelling Paolo backwards off the riser.

And for the grand finale, as Paolo fell backwards he lost his grip on the slide of the trombone allowing the pressure of the hot gases coursing through the horn to propel the trombone's slide like a double golden spear into the head of the 3rd clarinetist, knocking him unconscious.(Note.....I played 3rd clarinet for a bit in High School....good thing Sports and Chicks beckoned, or there but for the Grace of G-d...coulda been Wollfs noggin..)

The moral of the story? Beware the next time you hear someone in the trombone section yell out "Hey, everyone, watch this!"

H/T Wren


You hear that Jake?

Extra Special Trombone joke: What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
1) Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.
2) It's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.
Wollf

Just goes to show..........

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, 'Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu.'

¡Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!' said Rosita.

¡Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time,' Pedro begged.

'But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.' replied Rosita.

¡Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.'

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, 'OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu.'

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

'Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.'

And see? I even got the punctuation correct.
I weechu a Merry Christmas too....
Wollf

A Few Christmas Quotes........

I once bought my kids batteries for Christmas with a note saying, toys not included. -Bernard Manning

I was so poor growing up, if I hadn’t been a boy I’d have had nothing to play with on Christmas Day. -Rodney Dangerfield

If God had meant Christmas to be a family occasion He wouldn’t have invented TV, would He? -Rory McGrath

A dog is for life, not just for Christmas. So be careful at the office Christmas party. -Jimmy Carr

I saw a guy driving down Hollywood Boulevard with a tree on his bumper and I said: ‘Getting ready for Christmas?’ He said: ‘No, teaching the wife how to drive.’ -Bob Hope

At the office party you’re supposed to sit naked on top of the photocopier, not the shredder. -David Letterman

Roses are reddish, violets are bluish, if it wasn’t for Christmas, we’d all be Jewish. -Benny Hill

Remember that Letterman one Guys, otherwise the Dangerfield quote won't matter......
Wollf

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Stay out of the Dog House.......

I saw this at Dennis the Peasant, enjoyed it, stole it, and posted it. By the by....if you enjoy a Snark of Great Talent......go read him. Funny Man with a point to make.

Wondering what you should get for your Lady for Christmas, Fellahs? Here's what Not to Get, and why.........


The thighmaster? I've known Idjits like that guy....lucky he didn't have it permanently embedded in his.........well, you know....PG13
Wollf

Merry Christmas is coming.........

Saw this poor little fellow out behind the Lair on a walk......I figure that at this time of the year he really feels lonely, so I picked him up and I think I'll decorate him.......

Heck, I started decorating the Dog....he doesn't seem to mind......

But the Kitteh?

I think maybe I'll bar my door tonight.....he's got this thing about his Dignity as a Feline.....

Oooh, Oooh!.....forgot to make the announcement. Ransom the Kitteh is Completely Housebroken....as in Completely. He now exclusively uses the Human toilet facility.

No more Kitteh Litter, No more Box.....best? No more Ickey Kitteh smell......Even Dragn is suitably impressed with how the training turned out...If there's any interest, I'll someday tell you how to do it....

*Sorry KT, doesn't work so well with older Matriarchs.......*
Wollf

Monday, December 8, 2008

From "Holiday Inn".......

After the Cubs left last evening, Dragn and I snuggled up and watched "White Christmas" with Bing and Danny Kaye.....Don't cheat yourself this Season, go ahead and watch it yourself.....

Here, I'll get you in the mood. Different movie, but in my humble opinion, the best rendition he ever did......

There, now don't you want to decorate the tree?
Wollf

Christmas Songs by Psychology.......

It's all in the nuance......

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- I Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas if I can remember where it is......

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and ...

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me!

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...

And of course, ol' Wollfs Favorite........10. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy ... oooh look at the Kitteh!! ... can I have some pie?... why is France so far away?

Friday, December 5, 2008

It's the Christmas Season!!!!!

And it's time to start the Holiday Fun........

I have Bunches of goodies to share from all over. Let's start the Season with a little Muppet Joy, shall we?

Aloha Snackbar, Osama

H/T on the Aloha Snackbar to MCPO Airdale.....cracks me up
Merry Christmas!
Wollf

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Christmas shelved.......for Rid al-Adha?

From Reuters.....and this really ticked me off....poor, poor England.

British parents looking to see their children in a traditional Christmas play are fuming after a school decided to cancel the performance because it conflicts with the Muslim festival of Eid al-Adha, the U.K.’s Telegraph newspaper reported.

Officials at the Greenwood Junior School in Nottingham decided to postpone the annual holiday performance because it would have been too difficult to have both the Christmas and Eid celebrations together, The Telegraph reported.

"It is the first year my son has been there and a lot of the mums like me were really looking forward to seeing the children in the nativity," one mother told the paper.

A letter sent by school officials and obtained by the paper apologized for "any misunderstanding" but said it had to respect "the cultures and religions of all the children.”

“The Christmas performance has not been canceled outright but has been postponed until the New Year," the letter read.

But parents told The Telegraph that they were originally told the performance was canceled because Muslim children wanted to celebrate Eid with their families, making it difficult to schedule a date for the performance.

Maybe the French Foreign Legion is a good idea after all.........

Another good thing about The Fwench........


There's always a way out of your worldly problems....*guys only, sorry*.....

Lost your job? Wife and kids leave you, alimony and child support killing you? Just too damm worried about our politikal scene? You'll never make ends meet, it seems all the adventures are in the past......

There is a way, of course – one tried and tested over 180 years. And it’s dead romantic, too. The Legion Etrangere, zee French Foreign Legion.

As every fan of Beau Geste, March or Die and Carry On Follow That Camel knows, the Legion is an elite fighting force, drawing its men (no women allowed) from all corners of the world and touched by glamour.

Formed in 1831 by Louis Philippe to enforce French rule in newly-acquired Algeria, it developed into a collective exercise in convenient amnesia, acquiring a reputation as a haven for cut-throats, crooks and sundry fugitives from justice. Few questions were asked of new recruits, making it an ideal repository for the scum of the earth. And with the scum came the romantics, men searching for a way to dull the pain of doomed love.......now that's not me by any means, I'm in a seemingly unending upward spiral....

Well, that was how Hollywood portrayed it.

*Cue matinee idol being asked why he has subjected himself to a life of brutal discipline, sand and sunburn. "To forget," says he, drawing on his Gitane and staring longingly into the distance amid a haze of blue smoke.

Reality is a bit different. France’s colonial empire may have disappeared, save for the odd outpost, but the Legion lives on. Almost 7,700-strong, it still operates around the world and gets into regular scrapes in Africa.

While Frenchman make up most of the officer corps, enlisted men are predominantly drawn from outside France. The Legion’s image as a haven for ne’er-do-wells is largely out of date. Now, aspiring recruits are subjected to detailed background checks via Interpol.

But there is still a hint of romance: all recruits must assume a new name on joining the Legion. This is because some recruits do indeed want a new start and new identity, and it is fairer to make all new Legionnaires undergo the same process. Soldiers can revert to their real identities after a year.

So, what does the Legion give the lucky entrant? A hard time, mainly.
Before being awarded the kepis blanc, the famed white cap of the Legion, recruits must endure a severe training regime which can involve punching and kicking. All recruits have to speak in French – even if they can’t. Even swearing must be in French, and there is a lot of that.

New recruits get about £1,000 a month and a shiny new rifle, which they are supposed never to leave on the battlefield.

One practice popular in the main French army at certain times – surrendering – is not encouraged in the Legion, members of which are routinely expected to fight to the death.

The good news is the wine. The Legion has its own vineyards in Provence which provide the main ingredient for regimental get-togethers.

After three years service, a legionnaire may apply for French citizenship. There is a quicker, more painful way way: a soldier wounded in battle may apply for citizenship under a provision known as "Français par le sang versé" ("French by spilled blood").

Some 140 nationalities are represented in the Legion, the motto of which is Legio Patria Nostra (The Legion is our Homeland). Composition changes with time, recruitment tending to thrive in countries experiencing economic and social stress. Traditionally, Germany has been a big provider of legionnaires – somewhat ironically given the Legion’s bloody roll in two world wars.

Currently, eastern Europe is a fertile recruiting ground, together with Latin America. Brits, too, have played their part, but there was embarrassment recently when it emerged that many British applicants were failing selection due to endemic unfitness. *Friggin' tubbies, is what I hear*

If some NCOs in the Legion are to be believed, the whole corps is becoming a bit soft and girly. Improved conditions and greater professionalism have in recent years resulted in more middle-class recruits.

But hey.....although no one would call Wollf "soft and girly*....except his little baby bro whom he lourves.....in the Field they look a bit more like this......


And they don't care if you're fifty five...they just want you to fight, since most of their Countrymen don't know how.......

All right.....it was just one of the myriad ADD thoughts that ran around in my head last night whilst meditating......no real chance that I'd really consider, just doing a little daydreaming is all.....too old to be mucking about in the Bush anymore.....

Hmmmmmm....but rumor has it that Blackwater just signed a $4 million dollar deal to supply security for the Somali shipping lanes........

One bow and one stern on a Cruise Liner....scanning the Sea for Idjits in rubber boats and armed with AK47s?............Gotta make that Business Card....



Oh well......Dragn probably wouldn't go for it.....'sides, I s'pose I'd miss Her and the Cubs...
Dammit.
Wollf

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Marching Band Season is Over.......

And Wollf the Younger.....formerly Bigger Wolfie....gets his weekends and Friday nights back. It's an unbelievable amount of work that the Marching Band kids do during the football season......Srsly.

Me, I played the sports....couple hours after school....and during once making Varsity, a game or a match or a meet once a week, and that was it.....off to the Papago Reservation....now changed to a more venerable sounding Tohono O'Odham....and a few illegal adult oriented libations and girl chasing......

The Band kids are always practicing......til 2100 hrs two nights a week and competitions on Saturdays all day.....I'm glad to have the Cub back. Here he is, in all his Drummer splendor......

UPDATE!!!.....He's the one on the left.....I think. Thanks, DW



So what now for him? Why, Concert Band and Winter Drumline and then Spring Marching Band....it never ends......and every one of them costs mucho dinero.....

*Note to self.......Lil' Wolfie joins football this spring....yeah, that's the ticket.....*

Wollf

And then I get to thinking........

After I ranted yesterday, I went out for a bit and meditated.....that is almost always when the magic happens, when I just calm my mind....and this showed up.....

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT .
DURING A POINT IN THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT.

ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE IN ANGER......

THE ONE WHO WASN'T SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING........

HE WROTE IN THE SAND ,
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY CAME UPON AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH .

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED BECAME STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT HIS FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE,

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE"

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND THEN SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE..... WHY?"

"WHEN A FRIEND HURTS ME,
I WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE THE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS WILL EVENTUALLY ERASE IT AWAY.....

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR ME,
I ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT"

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE........

*end philosophy*
Have a wondrous day....it's the Season, after all......
Wollf

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Harry Reid what a POS


Speaking of Goats and Socialists.....

Un-friggin'-believable the stuff that comes out of this whiney little weasels mouth. He "smells" the tourists?

You mean those Citizens of these United States that take it as their duty to tour the Capitol grounds? You "smell" them Harry?

The stench is You, you elitist "more equal than the others" a$$hat.

*No weasels were really meant to be ridiculed in this rant*
Wollf

*Really....the Peasants are revolting? No, says Harry....they just smell bad*