Friday, November 30, 2007

Amazing how a muse works.......

Note the title of the last post? That word showed up again in my non-matrix life.

Random. Does anyone really understand its' meaning? How it affects our lives? Even existence? Randomness to most People I suppose is like the definition of chaos. But not in a bad way.

I embrace my randomness. It's the random thoughts that really keep me interested. It's the random coincidence in life that makes it exciting. Most people enjoy order. Some people , way too much. Wollf doesn't really care for those Folkes ways.

I like order, but I Love a bit of clutter. I suppose it's partially the ADD. Lots and lots of different things to capture my attention.

Random things, random thoughts, random actions.

This is actually too deep a thought for me to post on tonight. I'm going to have to give it some more thought.



Well, I guess I'd better post. I've been rather busy this evening. Bigger Wolfie, he wishes me to refer to him as "Liddo Brudahh!", yeah like a Wollf can be doing that!
Anyway, he's decided to stay up here at Walkabout with me this evening instead of down the hill where he's scheduled.

Something going on in that handsome young head of his. I've got to try without seeming to, to get it figured out. He's a bit ticked off about the divorce which is understandable, but I Really don't want it to affect his relationship with his momma.

So, What to talk about? Well, Evel Kneivel died today. Sixty nine years old. I think he broke every bone in his body. What do you do to remember him? Should I wreck a motorcycle, maybe beat someone senseless with a baseball bat?

I don't know. It's just such a sensitive subject. I wonder if he liked that latest Nick Cage movie, "Ghost Rider"? Heck, I guess he's the real deal right about now. Goodbye Evel. You're a part of my memories......

Red Haired Women!! Oh Bother.
I'll be back. I need some strawerry ice cream.
Me and Liddo Bruddahh.....that simply sucks. Me and Wolfie are watching "Hit Man" this evening. Silly movie.

Hey....Where's my Friggin' Moon?

I just posted my edit, and somebody swiped my Moon? Jeezers y Krisco! Now I gotta find out what happened to it. Otherwise, I'll have no reason to Howl......

Rose?, KT?, anybody?

Note this Day on Your Calendar.......

I am going to EDIT last nights' Post.

I'll do it in Bold italics so that it's more noticeable. I had a conversation last evening and realised that I truly miswrote what I Feel.

Do understand, I will not apologise if by chance I offended someone's sensibilities.
I'll leave the original text and simply add clarification.

Wow, over 185 Posts, and only one edit......this thing is going downhill fast....

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A Thought, just One, on Freedom

He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself. ~Thomas Paine


Where were we?........

Oh right. Scars.

We weren't? Well to bad. That's what popped into my head. I personally have quite the lovely collection. I laughed myself silly at a scene from (I think), one of the Lethal Weapon sequels wherein Mel Gibson, the semi-suicidal Cop meets and beds a Lovely Lady.

What they have in common is their scars. "Oh, and I got "this" one during a night drop over Afghanistan". "Oh", she coos,"I got "this" one in an addict roust gone bad".......Ok, maybe you had to be there.

You're holding your breath aren't you? Wondering if Ol' Wollf has a cogent point or if he's just enjoying a little ADD walk around the park.

Well, too bad for you, I do have a point. I have got Scars. Not your run of the mill, anybody can snag one at the local surgery center, either. I've sometimes thought of naming them after Celestial Bodies. You know, "Yup, this is a good one. Got it taking a knife away from a slightly enraged Mexican fellah in Tucson. I call it Pamela Anderson".

Oh....the cogent point. I have physical scars, and like everybody, I have my share of emotional scars too. This latest chapter of my life is going to definitely leave a scar. But not a big, ugly red one.

Nope, I decided about three months ago to take it to the best psychic scar surgeon on the planet. Myself. I think it's healing nicely now. I had a bit of a moment last night, but I thought about it a bit, put a little bit of introspective salve on it, and voila.....much better, thank you very much.

Like I said last night, It's much more like the Ocean than a roller coaster.

And I think I've just spied land.
I hope there's no spiders there. They give me the heeby jeebies right now.

Ever been bitten by a "Camel Spider"? It's actually a Solpugid, (sp) or Sun Spider. The American Southwest is teeming with the B$%trds. They're aggressive, nonpoisonous, but Wow they hurt, take an actual chunk out of you, and leaves......

A nice scar named MrsP.


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Interaction Time........

Ok, Campers, Ol' Wollf has an interactive moment for you. We'll see if anybody actually reads this drivel.

I'm down in a bit of a "trough" this evening. Yesterday almost giddy as I'd said. But, (Warning: Metaphor Time), I'm no longer on any sort of Roller coaster of way highs, (that old enemy of mine, Hope), or real lows, (when frustration at "why" sets in).

I see my place now as being adrift in an active Sea. The change in elevation between the top of the swell and the bottom of the trough isn't nearly as great as it was when I started this Journey.

And, to keep the metaphor going, I don't have to keep barreling wherever the tracks take me. I get to choose which way and how hard I paddle. That is a good thing. See? I feel a bit better just having written it down.

Now, the interactive part. Two parts, really. I would REALLY appreciate all two or three of your inputs.

1) Please take part in the little clicky thing poll over in the sidebar. I have accepted the inevitable divorce, and as I was frustrated this evening, I sent a Text Message to MrsP. I told her not only how to find this Journal-Essay-Blogsite, I told her that she "owed" it to herself and more emphatically to me, to read it.

It just frustrates me no end to see Anyone make a move of this magnitude in their Life without getting the information to make an informed decision. Bothers me as much as the "I don't love yous" did at the beginning. This is a decision, anyone who might be contemplating it themselves, that has ramifications far beyond simple "I want to find my self's" and "I want to be Happy's".

Those are broad based generalisations, Folkes. Just a little arithmetic, Thanks KT for bringing that up a month ago, shows that this decision will cost "her" over a (REDACTED) dollars over the next ten or so years. Cool. It was her choice and she's not only a grownup, she's also one of the smartest ladies I've ever known.

So, as #1, please take the poll, Get out the Vote, gimme some input here, People. Did I Eff up? Will it be used against me in some unimaginable way? I just felt it was fair that I be "seen"......don't have to like it, Lord knows how many People stumble in here, say what the Eff? And leave, never to Google anything again for fear of another mind bend.

Ok, that was number one.

2) And this one is going to take some effort. Don't be shy, please. The input that I've gotten from You is what has allowed me to come so far so fast. Come on, imagine your innermost "let it all out" feelings being written in your Diary, and then all of a sudden it's swiped and published in the newspaper. No one really knows you, but of a sudden, Everyone knows you. It makes you own up to your Being...and helps you Become.

So, here's what I'd like. You'll enjoy reading the comments too. How in the Heck did you find this teeny little corner of the Matrix? Simple question. Don't leave the comments to those Hardy Few Loyalists. I'd love to know.

Be Anonymous, no problema. Oh, for Rose up in Humboldt where I comment a bit, please be "Anon 1", Anon 2", et cetera....I'm always getting confused about who is whom on her site. She has an Army of "Anons" up there.

You don't know how? Thar's another little "clicky" thingie just below this post. It says......"Comments", for cryin' out loud. Join the fun. Give a Brother a Hand....

Two things, got it?
I think I feel better already.
Oops, I have to make a "clicky" thingie Poll.

Then have some sorbet. (Ok, cut out the snickering, I don't know if I'll like it, but they were out of Banana Split.) Remember, "Sorbet don't make you Ghe"

Later, and thank you,

Monday, November 26, 2007

Ok, Just Plain Goofiness......

I am actually as close to "giddy" as I allow myself to be. And you know what? I'm Not Going To Tell You Why.

That is an absolute first on this Blog. A secret. Heh, can't get it out of me either....although I do like presents, and the occasional "cyber hug", lol.

Anyway, just a short one because I've gone all Wizard early in the evening, and though I want to do a "train of thought" Wollf poem, I noticed what to me was a damm cute thing.

Yes, as always it has something to do with the pictures. I was rereading the Coyote encounter to see if I wanted to edit for once, and it struck me.....that darned Coyote is the spitting image of Lil' Wolfie!

Come on, check out the family resemblance yourself. Ol' Wollf with his posed "baleful" stare, and Lil' Wolfie...a chip off the old blockhead. Ok, I know, and you know it's a Coyote and not a Wolf Cub...just don't tell anyone, and I'll use it as Wolfie's avatar for a while.

Anybody else notice that Coyotes really age gracefully? Sheesh, me stuck with Wolf Totem and the Wolf Wrinkles to boot.

Be good people.
I'm going to celebrate my slightly mellowed giddiness with a bowl of Hagen Daz.
See you in a bit with a fresh poem or maybe a story.....

A Welcome bit of Feminine Wisdom......

Hey, I bought another computer for the Cubs this weekend.......Hooray!

Now I have twice the computer glitches, sheesh. Before I start to ramble on, and I'll try to stay off the psych stuff tonight, I want to bring your attention to a newly "added" member of the Wollf Pack.

Rambling Rose is a Lady of great talent, Prose, Poetry and just plain straight from the heart Wisdom. I asked her to join......heck who needs it? I'm so proud that she feels ready to share her talent.

She and I are on the same path......I think I can see her just up yonder ahead of me...she started the same way I did, naively thinking that we could do an anonymous Journal on line.

Somebody always finds you, be you quirkey,(ME), or talented,(Rambling Rose). It's a good thing......

So, whilst I am cooking something up in this cranium of mine, get thee hence and see what she has to say. As if she doesn't have enough names, I have christened her:

Paints with Words.

I have simply GOT to figure some kinda cool gizmo for this stuff. She's in the Wollf Pack in the sidebar.

See you in a bit.
Anybody want a cheese ball?


Sunday, November 25, 2007

Coyote Dreams......

After posting last evening, I went for a walk. Full moon, clear skies and a bit of a chill in the air. I had walked out by the end of the "civilised" area of the neighborhood, out where the canyons start and almost into a loping coyote.

I glimpsed him coming before he saw me. Startled, he performed the most amazing acrobatics, jumping high into the air, twisting his body up and around, running hell bent for leather even as his paws hit the ground.

He turned his head once, gave out a hoarse, probably terrified "yip" and disappeared down the ravine to safety. I shook my head, straightened my ball cap, (I s'pose I was a "bit" startled myself), hollered a goodbye to the fellah and headed back home.

I showered, had a glass of blackberry juice, did a short meditation and hit the rack.

I dreamed I was running through the forest, just feeling the wind whip by as I dodged trees and leapt over logs. As I approached a meadow swathed in moonlight, I heard the unmistakable yips and barks of a pack of 'yotes.

They were in a semi circle around one of their own, lying sprawled in the short grass. As I walked toward them, feeling no fear whatsoever, they dispersed, tucking their tails and whimpering as they one by one disappeared back into the forest from whence they'd come.

I was left alone with the last and obviously quite dead, coyote. I bowed my head a moment, turned away, and walked.....the forest was gone, and in front of me stretched a long and beautifully built red stone bridge.

I paused, glanced behind me at the fallen trickster, adjusted my ball cap, and crossed the bridge. All I remember from there is that the views were breathtaking...and the dream faded into the mist.....

I awoke this morning kinda late, being Sunday and all, around 0630 or so, and headed down the hill to have a restaurant style breakfast. No one on the roads, but I had to pull off the side and park.

There he was. The coyote. A coyote, I'm sure not the fellow I had frightened in real life. And sure as Hell not the dead one from the meadow.........

But they surely looked the same, and he was definitely as dead as the Meadow 'Yote.
He'd been hit by a car and there was no life left in him. I got out, pulled my emergency cone out of the truck and placed it next to him, no need adding insult to his death by another careless driver, called animal control and went on my way.

The bacon and eggs were tasteless. The coffee was weak. All I could think about in my solitary breakfast was the "old" stories. I looked 'em up when I got home today.

One of the most ancient mythic symbols for
most native American tribes. He is full of magic,
special powers and teachings. He is the master
trickster who tricks himself. We learn from the
lessons that coyote gives us about the mistakes
and/or accomplishments he has made in life

Well, the Trickster, is at the very least "symbolically" dead. The real one definitely is. My hackles are raised a bit, but it's just another one of those Wollfie coincidences. Live coyote, Dead Dream coyote, Dead real coyote.

No big deal....

Besides, there's a red stone bridge that it's about time I crossed.
Good dreams,

An Odd Juxtaposition?

So.....I'm sure you're wondering, although by this time, if you've hung out long enough to understand me a bit, you Shouldn't be, wondering.........

Wow, I think I've outdone myself on that run on sentence.....

What do Bugs Bunny and Hannibal Lecter have in common in Wollf's bouncing brain? Well, as always, I shall elucidate. After that medium sized "book" that I wrote last evening, I went back to studying the Meyers-Briggs Personality profiles.

Of course, I used the two "types" that I am most familiar with. In doing so, and it was quite fun, I saw on the Typelogic site, HERE, that they have lists of "famous" people that fit the personality profiles.

Both real and fictional. As I pointed out last night, one of my "perfect" matches as an ENTP is MrsP's INTJ. Glancing down the list for myself, along with some perfectly acceptable persons of repute, I got quite the giggle to see that Bugs Bunny and I share the same traits. (So does Wile E. Coyote for G-d's sake).

Maybe that's why those two are my all time favorite cartoons? Hmmm...Getting back to it, The INTJ list of fictional characters included the infamous Doctor Lecter,(and to be fair, that cute little FBI agent that was chasing him).

Obviously, I've taken the extreme, but isn't it interesting that those two would be psychologically attracted to each other? I think that I should write and submit a screenplay for another sequel......kinda like that Bugs Bunny space movie with Michael Jordan.

Hannibal could eat bits of Elmer Fudd's brain this time....maybe it would change his speech patterns and allow him to finally say "Rascally Rabbit". The possibilities are boggling. (and for you Daffy Duck fans, don't worry, Hannibal only eats cartoon People, not ducks). I won't step over that line.

Although, I'd much prefer the less extreme example of the FBI agent,(played by Jodie Foster), or Ellen Ripley from "Alien",(played by Sigourney, she had it going on....Oh, I digress).

Yes, I could see me,(even Bugs), with Sigourney Weaver or Jodie Foster for that matter......seems like a good fit to me, fine looking Ladies and the added bonus of not having to worry that your mate might decide to saute' your liver in a light plum sauce one evening.

Get the point of this ADD holiday posting? The most revered and respected Psychologists, over years and years of research have come up with this wonderful set of tests. They truly are remarkable in their ability to profile our tendencies....

But they still don't have a clue about what makes "Love". Why? They attempt to explain it, how our weaknesses draw us to the strengths of our partners etc, but the answer is best stated by a layman. I was told by a fellow once that the Internet worked on the Theory of F.M. Yup, so does Love and attraction.

"Friggin' Magic" I'll find that Magic again and I know that anyone who gives up, and just enjoys the day will find it also. Well, for this post, what else can I say but:

"That's All, Folkes!"
Coyote visitation next up.


Saturday, November 24, 2007

ESTP,INTJ, ENTP, Tarot, and Amerind Spirituality...

Whew, what a combination, huh? Well, in my usually unusual writing style, I'm going to attempt to tie a number of recent Posts together in a cogent way. G-d works in mysterious ways, as they say, and I think I'm getting the hang of the "Understanding" that I strive for.

Although I'm looking forward to discussing this with the wise Doc, I feel that through the bits and pieces that I've posted and the Very welcome comments, I'm finally getting a grasp on "Cause, Effect and Path Forward". The changes that I, my Cubs and my Friends have seen in me are real.....we've discussed the "whats, whens and whys" of how I got to the point where I started this Blog.

But how? As in how did a Love that seemed so perfect evaporate? And how did I change?
It's all in what I've written, really. Somewhat like Tom Hanks chasing down seemingly unconnected clues on his way to deciphering the "DaVinci Code". (ok, not nearly as riveting, but you get the point).

Rambling Rose made an excellent point in one of her comments, as did KT with regard to my less than educated "guess" about the (sudden?) and almost miraculous change from ESTP to ENTP personality traits.

The ENTP is what I've always been. The "N", or Intuition part of my makeup was there and strong when I first met her and we were inexorably drawn together. I didn't drink at all back then, she, as she is today, was a firm INTJ. All the literature that I've found so far describes how and why we were drawn together from the moment we had lunch.

Life together was pretty good. We weathered quite a few nasty storms together and came out smiling, counting on one another. The ADD wasn't a problem. She helped to keep me on track, probably guessing that something "special" was happening in my head. Me? Oh, I guessed that something was amiss upstairs but when I decided to do something about it....OOOOH! A kitty cat!, Wait, I've got to water the begonias..etc.

Then, the three Losses. That's when the ADD became a curse. I had three of the six or so channels of my mind constantly tuned into my Brother, Dog and Daughter. Depression reigned and was exacerbated by my attempts to shut down the thinking with alcohol in the evenings and when we went out.

To borrow a phrase from Lil' Wolfie, I was a MOERK. That's a combination of moron and jerk, and I think it might have fit me to a tee. I was not a pleasant fellow when under the influence of Depression, depressants and the "all over the place" ADD.

The "N", intuition, was "masked" by the "S" of sensing. A well known current ESTP is William Jefferson Clinton.....need I say more? Everything was about me. I was the brightest lite in the candelabra. I Needed to be in control and to show how powerful and intelligent I was.

At a terrible cost, as we know.

But, let's bounce up and out of that particular sewer. Through this (at one time private) journal/blog and then the insightful commentary of "strangers" who have become dear friends.....I dropped the last vestiges of depression, quit self medicating, and "found my marbles".

They were there all along, tucked away in a little sack emblazoned with an "N".

Wollf isn't changed. Wollf is simply and undeniably Back. So, with me so far? Now,(possibly because I took a break AND removed the Muggle patch), things are going to get a bit goofy.

Some more clues as to the reclaiming of my True Self. Remember my little furry visitor from a week ago and the words that popped to my mind as though from my Grandfather's lips?

"A visit from Raccoon, Malsom nqoss, is always telling." She is the creator of masks.
We all wear them. She tells us that our outer self is only an extension of our inner Soul. She represents change, luck and fortune in finding one's "true" desire.

An awakening of one's playful spirit. An acceptance of one's circumstance and a throwing off of sadness

But now, I think I interpret the Spirit visit differently. She wasn't telling me to put "on" a new mask for this new me. She was there to "remove" a mask that I had erroneously worn for six years. And the mask I wore didn't have eye slits. It was as false as the ones used in the old Amerind ceremonies, not allowing me to see what I was doing. I had to simply perform the dance by rote.

I couldn't see the needs of the People I was closest to.

She visited me to forever throw off that mask and to tell me that I was in fact healed.

Goofier still...the night is young....The Tarot Reading, remember it? Where I am now.

(The Hierophant)

You are simply struggling to conform to others expectations of you and everybody has an opinion of what you should do. Perhaps you are having a crisis of faith and are unsettled at a very spiritual level. Ask yourself who you really are? What is important to you? What makes you happy? Seek out advice or wise counsel if you wish, but accepting who you really are and going after what you want instead of what others want for you is the most important.

Just seemingly validating what I have done and showing me the direction that my Journey must take from this point on my path. I am Wollf again. I have to continue my learning about myself and sharing wise counsel with those who can assist me in my trek, and to help others who might be on the same Journey with whatever smattering of Understanding that I might have gleaned so far.

No, I'm not a believer in New Age, tarot, crystals, magnets etc. But I am a True Believer in Divine Coincidence.(TM pending) The G-d that I believe in is a G-d of great Humor and Mystery.

It simply seems to me that all the little pieces of His puzzle for me came together in one small moment in time. I've tried here to tie all the "recent" signposts together as an explanation for myself.

I need to see Logic, Meaning and of course the "How". I hope you enjoyed this little detour off the beaten path, and would gladly read and respond to any commentary you might have, seeing as this thing "jist ain't private" anymore.

I am most Definitely glad it isn't.
Taking another break. Gonna think about editing for once..........

Naah.....that's the charm of my goofiness isn't it?

Friday, November 23, 2007

Where were we?

Oh my goodness, before I get into the psychological rambling, I wanted to update on the continuing She-Cub Saga.......

So, last night was taken care of. I was reprimanded quite strongly,(any of you with experience being Parent to a rather strong willed young woman will understand)...for having the Audacity to think that it was a good idea to cut the evening short(heh, 2300 hrs is the curfew)....because A) No gas can, B) No local gas staions open, and C) I figured she had a clogged fuel filter anyway.

So....we went home to Walkabout. I had to get her to work in the morning, and Lo and Behold.....she had locked my keys in the truck. Now it's all my fault that she might be late to work.........sheesh. I used one of my little known talents, got in and drove her to work.....wish I'd had ear plugs. All in one sentence, I heard:

"That Jeep is such a piece of crap, I hate it, you're so mean to me for bringing me home early! I hate you, Daddy, can you stop and get me an energy drink please?"

I'm used to it. It's normal. K T, I'll be here for you Buddy. It's coming your way quicker than you can imagine........
Taking a break, see you in a bit....


Thursday, November 22, 2007

Jeeez...Am I Ever going to do the Psych Post?

Ok, bear with me, please. I've had this really interesting, (and as usual too late), revelation about my "personality profile".

Yes, I'm going to share. It's kind of heady, but I think I'l understand myself better once I write it out. As a prologue, you might be interested in the new little clicky thingie on the right sidebar, Wollf's Psychology.

If you're on any sort of personal journey yourself, I Highly recommend that you take the Kiersey test yourself. The point of my future post is that when this Blog started, my Doc suggested I take the test to help me (and him) understand who I am. (MrsP also took it, but that's part of the future post).

Anyway.....three months back, I tested out over a series of seven times as an ESTP personality type.

Since then, I've completely rid myself of the remaining shadows of depression, I've cut ALL alcohol out of my life....and I've taken up The Muggle patch. I've added this Blog to my life, meditaton, etc.

In the last two weeks, I went back to the test. I've taken it seven additional times on alternating days, and my profile has changed. One silly a$$ letter. I went from ESTP to ENTP.

Did I change to the "N"? Nope, I don't think so. I'm going to see the Counselor Doc next week to discuss. I "think" that I've always been the "N"(stands for Intuitive) but it was masked by minor depression and the combination of my ADD and alcohol?
I don't know...

I'll express my feelings on it more in the future as I become more familiar and comfortable with it.

Aaagh! She-cub just called. She has run out of gas in her,(MY) little red jeep.

Again. My word. What's a Sire to do? One thing and one thing only. Protect my Cub.
See you later. Just what I wanted to do at 2230 hrs.


Happy Thanksgiving.......

Anyway, got to thinking about the Great Debate back in 1775 between Jefferson, Adams and Franklin regarding a National Symbol.

I reread Franklin's words, (he Hated the Bald Eagle),"For my part," he declared, "I wish the eagle had not been chosen as the representative of this country. He is a bird of bad moral character; he does not get his living honestly. You may have seen him perched in some dead tree where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labor of the fishing hawk and, when that diligent bird has at length taken a fish and is bearing it to his nest for his young ones, the bald eagle pursues him and takes the fish. With all this injustice, he is never in good case."

Some people have since questioned whether the eagle would have been chosen to adorn the seal had the nation not been at war.

But I for one, am glad the Eagle won out. I mean, who the heck wants to sit down to a Family dinner of Eagle and all the fixins'?

Yuck. Oh, aside (surprised?). That Psychology thing I'm writing....seems my Personality is like that of John Adams. Someone "else" you know leans toward Thomas Jefferson........oddity reigns my life.

Happy Turkey Day.
Wollf and his Pack

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


I know, I'm working on understanding, but Hey, Lil' Wolfie got me going on Turkey jokes.......

I expect Nothing in the comments but groans.....what's a Sire to do?
These are SOOO corney..thus the picture of a field of .....Corn!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Cuz he wasn't a chicken

What does a jewelry-lovin' turkey say?
"Bauble, Bauble, Bauble"

How about an amazed turkey. What would he say?
"Boggle, Boggle, Boggle"

What does a dyslexic turkey say?
"Elbbog, Elbbog, Elbbog"

What about a turkey in the shoe repair shop?
"Cobble, Cobble, Cobble"

Or, that turkey who was an old-time movie fan:
"Gable, Gable, Gable!"

Ever know a turkey with a sore throat?
"Gargle, Gargle, Gargle"

You've surely heard a turkey with a sore leg say:
"Hobble, Hobble, Hobble"

Ever hear a football turkey say this?
"Huddle, Huddle, Huddle"

You probably know a dieting turkey who says:
"Nibble, Nibble, Nibble"

Sure, some turkeys who argues a lot?
"Squabble, Squabble, Squabble"

What does Dr. Seuss' turkey say?
"Tweedle, Beetle, Paddle, Battle, Puddle, Wobble, Hobble, Gobble"

Then there was the dizzy Turkey who just went...
"Wobble, Wobble, Wobble!"

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
Little Tommy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

What has feathers and webbed feet?
a turkey wearing scuba gear

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Waddle who?
Waddle I do if you won't open this door?

What do you call a gobbler who thinks he knows everything?
A smirky turkey

Groan......I thought you'd like to share them with the kids you'll see over Thanksgiving.
Thanks to Little Red Schoolhouse

Back in a bit feeling intellectually curious,

A Short and Kinda Spooky......

As I said in the last post, I'm going to spend some more "intense" introspection time with myself. Having all the Cubs this weekend will add to the experience. Now that the marriage is over and I've rested, it's time to come out of the Lair and enjoy the day.

I did something I've Never done before, had a Tarot's always seemed, well, silly to me. You're supposed to concentrate on a question. No, I won't share my thought, but from the rather "eerie" might easily guess the basic subject.

I was absolutely amazed by the cards and their meanings......will I do it again? Don't know for was spooky how close the reading came to what I was wanting an answer to.....I'll try to link. If you're curious, go over, come back and give me your insight......just don't freak me out.....I'm sensitive, you know.Heh

Anyway, bipp on over to......Well, That didn't work. Time for some "Copy and Paste"

how you feel about yourself now (The World)

You are about to reach, or are already enjoying, a period of total fulfilment, wholeness and satisfaction - the arrival of your hearts desires. You feel satisfied with what you have achieved and are enjoying the rewards of past efforts. A time of happy outcomes, material wealth and greater spiritual awareness.

what you most want at this moment (The Moon)

The cards suggest wollf, that what you most want at this time is some clarity and less of these confused emotions that leave you fearful and vulnerable. You want to know the outcome, because you are so unsure about how you feel. Use your intuition to guide you away from any deception and ride this out - it will turn out alright in the end. The Moon is a good omen if you are in a clandestine affair.

your fears (Death)

You are afraid of experiencing turbulent and catastrophic change, as we all are, yet challenging such transformation in our lives helps create brand new opportunities. If you are experiencing or have just experienced losing a job, a bereavement, divorce or the end of a relationship, these changes will allow brand new opportunities into your life.

what is going for you (The Tower)

Sometimes sudden disruptive change is inevitable, and as painful as it may seem, we come through it a stronger and better person. No matter how disruptive things are at the moment, or if you feel life is really against you, re-evaluate and move on - often a new direction can bring new opportunities you never dreamed of. If you have been planning to move home you will be experiencing setbacks.

what is going against you (The Hierophant)

You are simply struggling to conform to others expectations of you and everybody has an opinion of what you should do. Perhaps you are having a crisis of faith and are unsettled at a very spiritual level. Ask yourself who you really are? What is important to you? What makes you happy? Seek out advice or wise counsel if you wish, but accepting who you really are and going after what you want instead of what others want for you is the most important.

outcome (The Lovers)

Love is coming into your life even if you really can’t see where from at this time. If you are on your own a new lover will soon enter your life. If you are in an unhappy relationship you have a choice to make - go with your heart, take the risk, greater happiness is ahead of you.

Sorry, couldn't figure how to do the Card pictures, but this gives you the drift.
All I can say

Next time, I'll be writing about a truly "interesting" new development in my psychological profile.....seems a Leopard Can change its' spots....or a Wollf.
Later, I have to prep some food for tomorrow.


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Tonight....I Study.....Me

The animal, mortally wounded,
Drags itself through a thicket of thorns,

Not a sound but its' rasping breath,
Blood splashing to the snow,
Losing strength.

The last of its' energy draining,
Forward under moonlit skies
Spies his Lair

Inside, warmth it cannot feel,
Out, the cold, the same,
He sleeps.

Unlike the Grail King of legend, he will drink from the Holy Cup. His mortal wound that will not heal, and yet will not allow him to die.........will be as if it were never there.

And He will awaken, the better for his misadventure, more mature, more resilient, stronger and more the Alpha than before.

He's suffered this before, the last wound never truly healing because of his aversion to the magic of the Grail. Not this time.........Not this time........

The Legend of Parsifal, or Galahad, depending on the writing, tells the story of a young and pure Knight on his greatest find the Holy Grail. I can't do the story justice just yet, maybe another year of constant writing, but a synopsis of my thoughts is in order.

It's a wonderful story and it has been likened to our personal Quests and the fact that though we decide on our goal for personal growth, that we want to change, we're averse to drinking of the Grail.

Getting to know ourselves. Self knowledge, and thus self acceptance is what the Grail contains. Yes, of course it's Enlightenment, both Spiritually and Physically, but the main ingredient is Awareness.

That's what's in ol Wollf's canteen on this Journey of mine. Self awareness, and acceptance. I'm going back to the beginning of this journal and I'm going to reexamine some of my foibles, but this time "after" I have drank from the Grail.

Today was Horrible.....and it was Wonderful. I've dragged my dying Soul through obstacles and can finally crawl into my lair. I have worked hard enough on myself that my wounds are already healing.

A Marriage has died today.
A Friendship born.

I'll be less metaphorical in the days ahead, but I need to work this out.
Hang in there with me, huh?

Monday, November 19, 2007

Not much tonight......

Sorry,....heh, you couldn't live without it. I been a bad and busy Wollf. And maybe I should apologize to the couple of folkes that I commented to because I was a bit harsh I'm afraid.

Instead of apologizing, I'll just explain my mental state tonight.........

MrsP is cutting out of town for the Holiday. Going to see her little sister in Vegas. Good for her little sister. A little bad for our Cubs...........she's doing her best to make up for it tonight by having cooked an early Thanksgiving dinner all day for them. (By the way, an Excellent chef is she).

I truly hope they, the Cubs, understand what she's doing for them. I don't. And realize here that I'm not making a judgement call whatsoever. I'm just noting that I don't get the whole thing.

I'm missing something. I had to swing by the house, saw the kids, had her sign a refi paper and had to leave. As in Poste just made me so friggin' sad. Thanksgiving is such a Family Holiday, and the Cubs are missing a Huge chunk of their family.

Today, Wollf......Thursday, their Mom. Can't we all just get along? Yes and no, I suppose, you see she's going down a different path than I am. I just hope it leads her to a better place than she seems to be right now.

Anyway........that feeling of melancholy ended up manifesting itself over the last few days as some rather decent writing..........on somebody else's sites. OoH, the tragedy for you poor people. Wollf finally writes something worth reading, and you're not there to read it.

Ok, I'll share. Rose can use the readers. WatchPaul down on the right sidebar in the Wollf Pack. You'll have to look for the 11 Nov, "Remembrance" post. Rose was kind enough to Celebrate Veterans Day in this post and it turned into quite the ruckus.

Not til the last 12 or so comments, did Wollf become overtly involved, but what started as a sentimental "thank you" turned into quite the dust up. Wollf kinda cussed a bit, took a bite to the ear and a few scrapes, but I think he came out all right.

Go check it out if you're interested in seeing "Angry Wollf"........too bad Rose doesn't have my "I'm gonna Eat you" picture on file........

Rose is a good Woman with a Lucky Husband. She's doing some dirty work in a little town that needs some cleaning. Bufort Pusser in heels. Have Blog will travel......

So....sorry, not much to write about........yet.

Oops.....forgot to tell you what I'm doing with the Cubs for T-Day! I've ordered up a Gourmet T-Day dinner, I'm going to pack it all up, load some camping type gear, wind break, table, chairs, tablecloth and eating utensils.......and I'm....

Taking them to the Beach! Does it get any goofier than that? Anybody wants to come along, you're invited. We'll have to bring blankets and'll be about 65 degrees, but what the Hell? When you have an ADD Sire like Wollf you just have to take it as it comes.

They will friggin' Love IT!....heh, will I.
Time for a bowl.................(not Humboldt kind).....sheesh, I meant ice cream. I got a new berry flavored sorbet. Sounds kinda feminine, but I'll let you know if I get the urge to sleep in my silk boxers..........

No I won't. That's my little secret.

Sunday, November 18, 2007


You know, leave it to that sweet little Jewish girl to put me in my place, even when she didn't know I wa "out of place". I had started feeling a little Holiday Blue, what with the whole Fam Dammily not being together for the first time.

I was thinking about me doing the whole Thanksgiving thing with the three Cubs, sans Mom, parrying the inevitable "Doesn't she love us?" sort of questions while she's off to Vegas. I'll do it Folkes! And with Gentleness, so as not to impugne their self impugning MrsP.

Anyway, back to Linda, who runs Something and half of Something down in the Wollf Pack. It's her birthday tomorrow, and she wants Birthday presents. She has a wonderful list of places to send CARE packages to the Troops. Get thee hence by clicking RIGHT HERE.

If you're a bit strapped, or hell, even if you're can send a Text Greeting to the troops by following the pretty picture below.
Thanks, M'Lady.....I feel better.

Deus Vult!

Just Thinking is all.....

I'm going to be working on myself a bit more intensely this week. I have a lot of emotions to deal with now that we're in the dying throes of this union. One of my questions to myself is have I given my 120 percent to trying to save this?

Yes, I think so. If I were ever to write a book on Separation and Divorce for Men, I'd have to make that the recurring theme that permeated the text. That "Beyond the Call" imperative is what is going to allow a Man to live with the outcome five years down the line.

We, you Ladies too, have to understand that we cannot control another person emotionally. They "Feel" whatever it is that they feel. It's what makes us unique, and is what draws us together as friends or lovers in the first place.

Pleading for someone to love us is not only demeaning, it's downright counter productive to the process.To Either way that the "process" ends. Reconciliation or Divorce.

Yup, as my longtime, (heh, three months), friends and readers know, ol Wollf went through the initial, and quite normal, "I'll change","Don't feel that way", "Please....." stages early on.

Then I cleaned up the act, concentrated on Myself, and the "changes" that I wanted to do......For Me. I re found my misplaced Honor and Pride. I took my "maleness" down off of the mantle where I had allowed them to lie in state, and reaffirmed myself as an Alpha Man in the truest sense.

I have Power. Enough power that I don't have to use it when dealing with the People I care for, Cubs, friends, spouse......I have Control. Over ME. Over my actions and reactions, my responses to outside stimuli in a dignified and Honorable manner.

I realise that I don't have to, and don't Want to control another person. I simply can't. Don't try to yourselves. If you Love someone, let them be who they are. Support them and nourish them, but Let them Be......"Themselves".

I am finally, at my age, heh, allowing myself the comfort of being "afraid". Don't freak out on me here, Ol' Wollf isn't turning into a bowl of sniveling mush. I mean quite simply, that I'm allowing myself to ponder my future.....with concern about the path that I take.

No more "Damn the Torpedoes", no plan, make it up as you go approach to Human interaction. I will "focus", because I can now, on the Person that I'm dealing with. In that way, my Muggle patch is a blessing that I wish I'd had from the beginning.

Not just in my writing and follow through in the mundane, but now in the mysterious world of Relationships. I'll no longer have a thought, be it an affirmation or a negative, and then think to myself that I have to work on that, and of a sudden........"Oooh, Look! Something Shiny!!". Nope, now I will pursue that thought to its' conclusion, and act on it.

With Honor. And Dignity. Even when I'm crawling thought the bushes, exterminating evil six legged aliens with my 10 year old Cub. That's part of it. If a Man has True Honor and Dignity......he can act the fool and be joyous.......

Duty and Honor are calling from out my window.
Lil' Wolfie wants to play.

Hope I don't tear my jeans.........ahh, who cares?

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Yup, That Picture Again. ........

Bigger Wolfie left his cel phone in my truck last night. Being 15 and quite the "Lady's Man", he realized that he needed it in his possession. Might miss an important call, don't you know.....

Well, it was getting late and I was tired. I "blip bleeped" my key ring unlock, and down he went to retrieve his connection to the World of Women, (spell giggly adolescent girls).

I neglected to relock it. First time in Forever. In a "secured" neighborhood with roaming patrol officers......

Yup,....I forgot to lock it and some scuzz bucket found the door open and tore everything apart and .......STOLE MY CAMERA!! Aaagh. That thing, Sony, 10 mega pixel, SLR, bag, 300mm telephoto, et al.......gone. Am I as pi$$ed as the picture implies?

Nope. Weird actually. I'm bummed out now that the initial rage has subsided. And that really only lasted a minute or so. The Journey is the reason, I think. Being enraged about something I can't "really" do anything about seems a foolish waste of psychic energy anymore.

I actually saw a few ridiculously "positive" points in it.

1) I had just downloaded all the 250 plus pics that Bigger and I had taken at the Civil War....phew, they're not lost.

2) It gives me a "personal change" that I'll think about. Shows that I really am moving in the right direction.

3) Something "bad" happened to me and it has NOTHING to do with the divorce. The world doesn't revolve around "her" anymore.

That last is very important to me. It shows that I'm checking my baggage. The stuff I'll "carry on" to any future relationship will easily fit into the acceptable "overhead compartment"........

Oh....and I've got Lil' Wolfie over. He's finished killing terrorists on Call of Duty Four for a bit, and is relaxing, watching a History Channel show on Thermopylae and the 300 Spartans.....

An aside to ΛΕΟΝΙΔΑΣ, did you know that "MOLON LABE" means, "Bring it on, Sucker!"?
Ask Lil' Wolfie, he'll set you straight.

Have a great evening. I have to trot downstairs and meet the Deputies. I think I've got all the info they might ask for written on two sheets of paper. No sense wasting any of their time on this "crime of the century". All they need is all the "who is" info on me, time frame, description and serial numbers of what was taken and my contact info.

And no, ΛΕΟΝΙΔΑΣ, I won't ask them if they're going to dust for prints.
Oops, here they are.....whoooo! Cute "girl" Copper.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Take the time to waste some time.......

Take some time to waste
Some time.

We're all on the same journey
With different goals.

Self inflicted goals.

Take some time to waste

We rush down our paths
Never seeing the view.

An outstanding view.

Sit down in the shade
Your dues are all paid

It's a beautiful view.
Waste a little time.

It "seems", according to the News, that a "Surfer Dude" has created a Unified Field Theory of Physics. I won't bore you with it, every time I let my mind wander that direction out loud, cattle the world around fall fast asleep. Yup, ADD People can be quite boring when we wax scientific. I've learned that sometimes thinking to myself is much more fulfilling.......

Suffice to say that this 39 year old PHD with no full time job or permanent address has found, or so it seems, a rather simple mathematical that ties together three out of the four basic forces of nature: Electromagnetic force; Strong force, which binds quarks together in atomic nuclei; Weak force, which controls radioactive decay; and Gravitational force.

Prior to this, the Standard model has been the accepted norm, weaving together the first three forces. This "Surfer Dude".....(right), uses the E8 "shape", the most complex mathematical pattern, to model the unification. Enough boring stuff......I used to Love this Shi-ite.......

Let's just say that this theory is a lot like me....."it's so simple, it's complex".
This guy is about to set the world of theoretical physics.....and by extension the physical world on it ear.

All by taking some time......
To waste some time.

Take a detour off your path, climb up on a prominence and enjoy the view.
You'll be amazed by what you can see.


The Earth Moved.....

And jolted. And shook as tough to rid itself of fleas. Water sloshed from cups and People scrambled for safety. Headlines on Fox News. T.V. reporters excitedly relating first hand accounts of the temblor.

And I? Didn't feel a friggin' thing. A 3.5 earthquake, centered about twenty miles away and up the coast by Santa Barbara, and I didn't feel anything.


I did not move to the far left coast of this beautiful country for the joy of wildfire season. I moved here for the quakes. I looked Forward to the quakes.

Well.....until Northridge. That one was up close and personal, actually throwing me out of bed in the middle of the night, crawling, scrambling, clawing my way to She-cub's room, clutching her, yelling to MrsP to "Get downstairs! Get out!"

Halfway down the first flight it hit again, all we could do to just hold on. It's an unbelievable feeling of powerlessness....and pure primal fear induced adrenaline coursing through your body.

We got out.............(was it necessary to tell you that?) I am a master at pointing out the the Obvious.

Anyway, I missed the earthquake. The earth hasn't moved for me in quite a while, heh.

So....not much going on....the local high school is kicking the be-jeezers out of Santa Barbara High in the playoffs. I went down the hill to the game for a bit to visit some of my former athletes and give Bigger wolfie some money.

That Cub is an eating machine.....Oh drat, he just called. Wants to spend the night up here at Walkabout house with me. Gotta go....can't keep the crown prince waiting.

He's probably hungry.
In a bit,

Thursday, November 15, 2007

My visitor.....

What an interesting experience. This was not by any means the first experience I've had with a Raccoon........but was definitely the first time that the lady decided to sit down to visit.

Those of you who know me understand that I have a penchant for the ancient traditions, I enjoy reading and learning of Amerind Legends and Practices. This was an absolutely wonderful experience.

I had gone outside in the front yard to put away my truck and I heard an animal running down my cul-de-sac. I thought it was a small dog that had gotten loose, and knowing that if he wasn't returned home he would become Coyote dinner, I whistled.

It stopped in the shadows across the street and I approached, speaking in soft tones,"Hey buddy...come here..." It emerged from the shadow and approached me, revealing its' unmistakable bandit masked face.

Wollf knows the "Three Rules of Wild Animal Encounters", (no Suburbanite here, Folkes), LEAVE.....THEM....ALONE.

So I backed up. Remembered my camera was in the truck, and detoured to get it.

Miss Raccoon followed.

I deviated course again, not wanting to get stuck by the truck.

Miss Raccoon followed. Chirping. I had a "bit" of a worry that this Raccoon was too might be ill, so I headed up to the front sitting area.

Miss Raccoon followed.

I got to the front door, she stopped, and hopped up on the short wall surrounding the sitting area, tilted her head at me curiously, an sat down.

Just sat there, tilting her head occasionally and chirping contentedly. This critter had no fear......and no malicious intent whatsoever. She was just curious.
I anthropomorphized that she was lonely......heh, what a romantic.

I am not afraid whatsoever of wild animals, I'm just cautious, and after a bit, I sat down myself and probably looked as quizzical to her as she did to me. We hung out and visited for close to 20 minutes before she decided to continue her foraging.

She gave me what I considered a farewell chirp, hopped down off the wall and truly sauntered off. Left me with a warm feeling as I thought about what Grandfather would have said.

"A visit from Raccoon, Malsom nqoss, is always telling." She is the creator of masks.
We all wear them. She tells us that our outer self is only an extension of our inner Soul. She represents change, luck and fortune in finding one's "true" desire.

An awakening of one's playful spirit. An acceptance of one's circumstance and a throwing off of sadness. (Hey, ever see a sad Raccoon?)

This is all information that I've read recently. It's an interesting way of looking at where I am right now in my path. My mask has changed. I am told that I am much more joyful as of late, even through the "difficulties".

It's the outer mask reflecting the changes to my Soul.

I shall embrace the visit by Raccoon as a turning point in my Journey. She came by for tea and let me know that I'm moving along the right trail. I hope you're all blessed with such an experience.

Hmmmm....starting to go Wizard.........odd thoughts....

My true desire? Well, I kinda wanna get L.....(REDACTED).....Aw Cripes, I almost forgot my PG13 Rating. I better go get a bowl of ice cream.

I am telling you, Does Not Get any Better than Haagen Daz' Banana Split ice cream. Well......except of course getting L..(REDACTED). Damm, did it again.

I'll be back later. Gotta go help Lil' Wolfie with his homework. Finally something I know more about than he does....the Sonoran Desert ecosystem. It'll be fun showing how smart I am to a Ten year old. (I'm sure I'll learnas much as I teach...)


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

An Interesting Visit.......

With a Raccoon........Totem, Spirit.....flesh and blood. Not an everyday experience, to be sure.

I invited her to tea........

(Is that a good "Hook" for tomorrow's post, or what?)
Please no comments of......"What."

It's late.....0500 comes early and dark.
Good dreams.

Yup, it's happening.....Freedom was not what I was looking for.....

Aaagh, I just noticed the time.....I have to get the Cubs down the hill to MrsP in just a little bit. She's finally talking to a Lawyer......shhh, I retained one also, just in case. You might have your very own high opinion of the legal profession, but I kinda lean toward the old joke......

Tree.....Rope....Lawyer....Some assembly required. I retained mine as a second set of eyes and of course his somewhat jaded point of view. Honor is of course above all things......but I want to be reined in from giving away the farm

If she stays "civil" and I feel that I'm being treated fairly.....she shall be "given" more than is required. Once again, "for the Cubs"

If not......well business is what I do, and I follow through relentlessly when wronged. I shall try to have faith in a woman who doesn't seem to believe in faith.

I'll come back up the hill and write in about 45.....
Oh yeah.....I played with the most amazingly curious and unafraid Raccoon last nite.
Tell you in a bit

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"Don't know why.....
There's no sun up in the sky....
Stormy weather...."

Yup, feeling a bit down. Maybe I ought to go for a night walk.

Why in the HELL was I instilled with this friggin Honor? It would be SO friggin' easier if I allowed myself to simply hate this woman. Yes, I know, she's just "broken", and yes I know....I am a causative factor in that breakage.

I simply want to find a "culprit" and destroy him. But I can't. I have to be here and positive for the Cubs.

I've figured out that I'm one of the "Good Guys". All well and good itself, but why do the good guys have to feel so friggin bad?

Wollf needs to hunt.
Wish me luck, cuz I'm hunting an elusive prey......

My Self.

Veterans Day Twitterage.........

Well, ol' Wollf got a bit pi$$ed off tonight at what in my less than humble opinion consider a twit. I spent entirely too long looking up some facts to respond to the deluded child. Thus, this is a real short post with, hopefully a link to Rose's place up in Beautiful Humboldt County, California.

It had to do with Veterans Day, and I think you know how I feel about that. So to check it out, go HERE .

Monday, November 12, 2007

Another of my rather odd apostrophes...a bit on the serious side again, so just skip it if you wish.

Yesterday and today, while thinking of Veterans Day, it dawned on me. I know I've posted about becoming "depressed" and of course how good it feels to be out of it.
It wasn't one event, but rather a horrible series of three, over three years, all in January.

Four years ago I lost my first born She-cub, Heather.
Five years ago I lost my finest Dog, Killian.
Six years ago I lost my eldest brother, Michael.

Talk about progressive depression! I'd Start working one through, and about the time for a yearly remembrance....Bam....I started over again. We don't need to follow this tack.....we've done it before.....all I have to do now is reread it if I feel the need.

The thing that dawned on me is that all three of these Souls were Veterans.

Heather......United States Navy
Michael......United States Marine Corps
Killian......United States Air Force Dog the Veteran. Bomb sniffer. Absolutely Hated my re loader, heh. He was stationed in England and faked a heart murmur to come home with me.

Best, smartest and at the same time dumbest damn Dog that ever pleasured me with his companionship.

So......Veterans Day now takes on a whole new set of memories for me.
Rest easy.
Save me a spot. I love you.


Final for Veterans Day.......

I didn't have the Cubs sucked. I did a minor pilgrimage as I do every year up the highway to Ivy Lawn. I just go. They set up about 1000 American Flags and decorate all the Vet grave sites.

It's just a way for me to remember guys who weren't so lucky as others. Never really leaves me in a very chipper state of mind, but it's necessary. Even got up there, out and situated by the Eleventh Minute of the Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Day of the Eleventh Month.......(even though it was the twelfth, I know)

Nobody tolled the bells. Nobody does that anymore. They had the wonderful memorial at the Civil War thing yesterday. I just always do my thing on the day off. Just seems right to me. Keeps it from just being a day off.......

Oh yeah, I heard the bells, even if they weren't really tolled. I hope you took the time to listen for them too.....

But K T, What am I to Do?......

Watched a couple videos over at KT Kats place about the messages that advertising is sending to our little girls. Unreal self conceptualization. Unreal expectations. A really good education as to the Bravo Sierra they sell at the Ad Companies.

Please do check it out at The Scratching Post: Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty: Onslaught#links#links.

All three of my She-cubs were blessed with realistic and positive images of themselves. No binging-purging, diets, etc., thank G-d. But I really get the point, especially after having watched the Dove video.

Oh, just in case you wondered, the poor dear young Lady in the pic is my youngest and very precious She-cub. I'm just posting it because I'm in a bad mood today, and it made me smile. She's having a bit of a bad time with MrsP. right now.

Trying very hard to be independent, dealing, or rather "not dealing" with the divorce thing has been most difficult on her. She'll most likely be going away to college next little one. Away from Wollf's protection.

Probably be tougher on me than her, you think?

Anyway, check out the link and share it around the horn.

Real Women are beautiful no matter their shape or looks. (Mine just got kinda lucky)

Back later, I'm gonna go down to the pub for a bit of Monday Night Football.
Why, you ask?

Because I can. (one of the VERY few advantages to my situation)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Civil War....Moorpark, CA...

Well, I'll try and post a few pics of our adventure today. Veterans' Day. A moving tribute to all Vets and our current Troops.

A real feeling of Patriotism right here in Southern California. Bigger Wolfie and I had a Great Sire/Cub day. So goo, in fact that my "too busy" 15 year old decided to spend the night......not my night...heh.

So, I'm just gonna post a few pics and we're gonna watch Transformers the movie. Quick review?......Rent it if you like rousing action, a decent if kinda silly plot and the best stunts/ special effects you might ever see.

Talk later, enjoy the pictures. I fiddled with 'em a little bit. No time to photoshop 'em out........but I'm getting a bit better with this new slr camera. Hope you like them. Bigger an I shot close to 100 stills.


Sometimes, just a few words, written Just So......

He doesn't feel her heartbeat.
She doesn't see his tears.
He doesn't sense her love sweet.
She doesn't know his fears.

What will become,
What shall become,
What has become......

False Bravado.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Going back in time........

Tomorrow starts at 0-Dark hundred hours. I'm dropping Lil' Wolfie off down the hill at the Evil Starbucks......mostly cuz I can't really drink coffee anymore.

The Muggle patch, being a do not want to be in the same County with Wollf if he adds large doses of caffeine.

Anyway, Lil' is doing a soccer road trip with Herr M and the boyz. Then I'll fiddle a bit and pick up Bigger around 1000hrs and take him to our big Civil War reenactment.
About 4000 of the faithful dress up and live the lifestyle for three days.

Interesting group of People. Not into it myself, but I wouldn't miss the time with Bigger, or the photo ops for the world.

The pic above is one I shot last year with a camera Much less impressive than the one I now own. I'm looking forward to some seriously great stuff. I'll post a couple. If they turn out as well as I hope, maybe I'll be able to sell a couple and have 'em published.

That would be cool.

I need an adventure. Things are going as expected with MrsP. She finally used the "D" word, and we're progressing down the road. You've read me say I'm done. I am. With trying to be anything I'm not.

It hurts less from a loss point of view, but I'm Truly sad that I didn't cut mustard. I feel sometimes as though I failed. Me, Her....the Cubs. I have Definitely learned a LOT about being a Partner, and no, I didn't say "Husband" on purpose.

I think it's more important to be a good Partner. And by G-d, I will be.
Be good People.

I was starting to get a bit down.
See you tomorrow,

USMC Birthday, 10 NOV 2007

232 Years, The Few, The Proud, The Marines.

I will be toasting, with or sans alcohol the members of the USMC, past and present at Corrigan's in Thousand Oaks. (Already did it). To my Family, Wolves, Jar Heads, Devil Dogs, and Leathernecks all......

Happy Birthday, Big Brah Mike, Viet Nam, Sar'Major, WWII notably Peleliu, Grandfathers from Both sides, on the ground in Belleau Wood, and in the air above.

The Official Message from The Commandant of The Marine Corps:

ALMAR 044/07
SUBJ/United States Marine Corps Birthday Message - 10 November 2007//
POC/Sgt M. Bell/Admin Chief/CMC Staff Group/-/
Tel:(703) 614-2326// GENTEXT/Remarks/

1. Since the birth of our nation, our liberty has been purchased by valiant men and women of deep conviction, great courage, and bold action; the cost has often been in blood and tremendous sacrifice. As America's sentinels of freedom, United States Marines are counted among the finest legions in the chronicles of war. Since 1775, Marines have marched boldly to the sounds of the guns and have fought fiercely and honorably to defeat the scourge of tyranny and terror. We are Marines - that is what we do.

2. In the words of President John F. Kennedy: "In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger." Magnificent heroes fought in the wheat fields of Belleau Wood, in the snows of the Chosin, and on the streets of Hue City. Your generation bears this obligation now, and it is borne on mighty and capable shoulders. Just like the Marines at Belleau Wood - we are once again engaged in sustained operations ashore. Just like at Belleau Wood - the Marines have been given the toughest sector and have prevailed over a resilient and determined enemy - who has made us pay for our gains. Once again, as in any struggle, the road ahead is far from certain, but as Marines, we are not dissuaded by the challenges of war or the tough conditions of a warrior's life. Indeed, we don't just accept our destiny - we shape it.

3. On our 232nd Birthday, to every Marine - those still in uniform and those who have served honorably in the past - be proud of who you are and what you do. Know that your citizenship dues have been paid in full; you are part of this nation's elite warrior class. Cherish our families who offer marvelous support, abiding resolve, and steadfast patience. Remember those who have served and those who have fallen - their names are chiseled on the roll call of America's heroes. Those who have carried the battle colors of our Corps have forged our heritage, and today's generation of Leathernecks chart our future. Carry the colors with pride; carry them with honor.

4. Happy Birthday, Marines! Semper Fidelis, James T. Conway, General, U.S. Marine Corps, Commandant of the Marine Corps

To give to Project Valor IT in Honor of the USMC, bipp on over to Something and Half of Something........... HERE

Semper Fidelis

Retirement Humor........

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to maketheir days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I wentdowntown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5minutes and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parkingticket I went up to him and said, 'Come on, man, how about giving aretired person a break'?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi'. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said'Hillary in '08.'

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

Thanks to my second born back in Missouri for sending's been a kinda roygh coupla days......I needed the funny.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Heh.....a New Perspective......

I saw this and after last evenings' "whew", it's almost over moment, I thought it was fitting and funny in a slightly sad sort of way.


For my Friends in Humboldt County.......

Wow......maybe you've seen this, but Ol' Wolfie spewed coffee. It's a timely piece of scientific work explaining the effects of drugs on our arachnid neighbors. Amazing, the similarities with Humankind. Oh......I'm probably just anthropomorphizing. Be educated. Wollf

Thursday, November 8, 2007

If you're tired of just Base Jumping.........

If a HALO or sky surfing just doesn't give the adreniline rush that it used to.........

A friend sent me .........This


Wednesday, November 7, 2007

A bit of Angst, I suppose..............

Day and night cannot dwell together.


What does she see

As her lithe form glides

Through the trees?

What can he hear

As he listens for her call

And hears nothing?

She hunts an illusion

She snaps at its' flanks

And goes hungry.

His cubs are mewling

Feeling afraid

He grooms them.

She hears a dream howl

And answers in call....

Only echoes.

Curls around his young ones

Shivering in the cold

He warms them.

She turns to the song

That only she hears

She is alone.

Decisions are made and paths followed for reasons unknown but to ourselves. Acceptance of what is and acceptance of ones' responsibility even while facing uncertainty. That is what Life is.

Peace to she who hurt me. The Alpha can't protect you from yourself. Coyote is the Trickster, luring his prey with dreams unfulfilled. Would that you could understand that.........

Coyote is always out there waiting, and Coyote is always hungry.



ΛΕΟΝΙΔΑΣ.....One of the Good Guys.....

It's Lunch time in So-Cal, and I was cleaning out some of my collected jpegs and found this one.

Made me think of Someone you should Know. Check out his website once in a while. He's in the Wollf Pack in the sidebar.

Fighting in the Shade.

Leonidas, do what you will with the Picture, I found it shortly after watching a History Channel documentary on Thermopylae and then see The 300. Cracked me up.

It "might" have come from that "Grouchy old Cripple" in Atlanta, but it's been a while. H/T anyways, Dennis. Forgive me, it's a Guy Thing.......any Woman who has actually sat through the movie and truly Enjoyed it..........Please send your Proposal of Marriage right now. heh.

Three Days til' "Drunk and Disorderly" day....otherwise known as the USMC Birthday. Haven't had a drop since 4 July.......hmmmm, made a "covenant" with Him 'bout that. If He would help save that relationship..........I wouldn't partake of a favorite "spirit".

Big decision. If I's over. Period. Somebody cut the cake.......but for the Cubs? Errrgh.

Worst part is the B-Day is on SATURDAY.......Corrigan's Bar and Grill will be Hopping with fellow Formers, and the "spirits" will flow as easily as the Toasts.

Any Advice?

Deus Vult, indeed !!! Or in the words of a new friend,



Tuesday, November 6, 2007

No More Bakersfield Jokes......

The most Amazing thing has occurred. California, land of fruits and Nuts. Home of the Cal Berkely crowd, home to the San Francisco City Council, Maxine Water, Najji Ali, MexiFornia, Mecha, The Friggin Hollywood Halloweenie hanging out Parade.

Good has triumphed! At least for a little while. It'll take some time for the ACLU to regroup after the shock.

Bakersfield School District has approved of G-d.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Trustees of the largest high school district in the country voted 4-1 Monday night to mandate displays bearing the nation's motto — "In God We Trust" — and other historical documents in over 2,300 district classrooms and offices.

Of G-d. That sink in there, Bucky? Take a Deep breath. They are going to display, in PUBLIC,

The Constitution of the United States of America, The Declaration of Independence and..........

The Bill of Rights!

This is Kalifornia, or maybe.........just's More. It's an absolute Shame that this "approval" has to be such big news.

But it just possibly might be the Case that blows this hypersensitive Bravo Sierra out. The ACLU and the usual crowd of Left Coast Atheists and America haters will storm out from the shadows where they constantly hide and bring suit against the Good Americans of Bakersfield Unified.

If you've got a praying bone in your body, join ol' Wollf tonite with a Prayer to G-d for Strength of Conviction. That the City of Bakersfield has said Enough is Enough! That they'll stick to their Decision, and fight the Forces of Darkness to the bitter end. It's our Country, our G-d and our Children.

Leave us alone.

Can I have an Alleluia? Ooh Rah! It's "beginning" to feel like California. Thank you Bakersfield.

Bakersfield, Give the ACLU Hell. I think G-d would approve. Molon Labe.

Wow, that tired me out.

Gotta watch The Unit......something strangely familiar about that show........

Monday, November 5, 2007


"Malsom nqoss", he would say,

Just before a teaching,

Mall sum Nuh Kwoss,

"Wolf, my son",

And I would Learn.

All he had to say.

Of Spirits
Of Flesh
Of Blood

"Malsom nqoss"!

A shout as loud
As a whisper

Learn from me

Of Laughter
Of Tears
Of Life

Before my Death.

His voice,
His very Breath,
Stolen in a woods not his own.

Fighting the Whites again

Like his Grandfathers

Helmets with spikes of steel.

"They called us

Teufel Hunden!"

As we left our trenches
They ran as mahtoqehs

Fitting, thought I.....

"Mah toe kwez"
Rabbits from the Wolves.

Lintu Nipawset, Malsom nqoss,

For their Souls
For my Soul
Before I die.

"Leen too Nee pow set"
Sing the Moon, Wolf my Son

I do Grandfather,

I do.........

Random thoughts from a Bouncing Brain.......

I took the leash off the Wollf today. I was invited to a "Brainstorm" regarding a few brainteasing situations.......

They got possibly a bit more than they bargained for with what they refer to as my ability to think "Laterally". Hoo boy, forget the brainstorm. Put away the umbrella, I produced a full scale, Category 5 Brain Hurricane.

After it was over, I heard one of the fellows remark that, "Wollf doesn't just think outside the box...........sometimes I wonder if he knows Where the Box is!" Followed by a murmured, "Yeah, but he comes up with Solutions."

I told you ADD isn't a curse. Now that I have a "portal" into and out of Wizard mode, I'm learning to channel my bouncing brain.

Thought I'd continue here a little bit.

Here in So-Cal we enjoy Fruit and Vegetable seasons, possibly a bit more than other places in the country because of the myriad types of crops the farmers can grow. Strawberries to corn, oranges, lettuce, avocado and lemons to name a few.

When strawberries are in season, they're extremely cheap, 7-8 bucks a Flat.And absolutely delicious. Picked in the morning, in your ice cream that night.....yum.

I realized today that we also have Tootsie Roll season. We're in the height of season right now. For some reason that I can't fathom........(when you're thinking laterally, sometimes the obvious is not quite so..), Tootsies are Extremely cheap. Seriously, Folkes, check it out yourself!!

We're talking 30- 50% less than usual! And the amount on the shelves........they have to sell them in "bulk" packages, almost like strawberry flats! I also have to tell you........they are Fresh! You don't have to risk breaking a tooth on the things......even the Jumbo sized ones are soft and chewy.

I love this time of year. Well, I have to tell you, when it's done with and the shelves are empty, it's a long time until "Peeps" are in season. You think this is goofy? Go ahead, find a fresh "Peep" anywhere, I dare you.

Wollf knows whereof he speaks. Funny thing though, why do hard boiled, colored eggs come ripe at about the same time as the "Peeps"? And then there's the correlation between Tootsie freshness and the sudden appearance of those little corn looking things.

Hmmm........this warrants some scientific investigation. Well, we at least know that there's no "cover up", or Conspiracy involved.

Rosie O'Donnell hasn't even Mentioned it. She's obviously not afraid that they might be tainted.
Oh, that was mean. I apologize Rosie. Eat all the "Peeps" and Tootsies you want.

The more that go into your mouth, the Less we have to endure coming out of it. Heh. It was an inside job, Rosie. George W controls the price of Tootsies, I've heard.

Break Time!! Everybody grab a bite. Use the restroom, go for a walk.....Hell, write a posting for your own Blog......give someone a hug. If you don't have someone, send one psychically to Wollf. I could use a nice, long hug.

How in the Hell did I go from Brainstorming to Candy to Rosie and her idiotic, moonbat conspiracies? You'll never understand....................I don't.

But I Love it!!
Gotta take the Cubs down the hill.........we changed days this week.......because......Shhh, Mrs P's baby sister is coming to town on my usual Wednesday-Thursday school nites with the Cubs.

It's a "secret". From me. I am simply bemused at the thought that something so silly can cause Her to expend energy in "not letting Wollf know"...........just goofy. Doesn't want me talking to her Sis.

See you in a bit, the Bigger Cub is restless.
Lil' just hollered at him, "I'll Keeeel You!!"
Better stop the bloodshed,


Sunday, November 4, 2007

So, yesterday I was busy. Lil Wolfie all day and then an exchange of prisoners for Bigger in the evening after his Band competition. (First place again)..........

Lil' Wolfie felt that his Sire needed a wardrobe update. I asked what he suggested, and was quite surprised that he thought a bit of "Tommy Bahama" was in order.

Far be it from Wollf to question the sartorial taste of a ten year old boy, so off to the mall we went. I have to admit, I had little idea where the store bad. I was roundly criticised for my lack of's Right next to Ben & Jerry's. I noted the alternate agenda but kept it to myself.

Do I need an update? Hey, I'm a guy. When I need new clothes, I go to the men's store, find something I like, and order five of 'em. (different colors......sheesh, you think I don't have taste?)

Anyway, we get to Tommy's place and Holy Bejeezers!! Lil' Wolfie just takes over the place. Seems he has shopping experience with his momma.......heh, take no prisoners shopping. We looked at all sorts of shirts, slacks and shoes.........he chose, slapped my hand once or twice when I was reaching for something "gross" and ended up with three new shirts, two pairs of pretty cool cargo pants and a pair of new boat shoes.

I wondered about the boat shoes. Ummmmm, I don't have a boat. Lil' did Not appreciate that joke. I appreciated the fact that I dropped what felt like the GDP for a small Central American nation for a few pieces of well sewn cloth. I figure they must've given those nice Chinese kids a fat raise.......ok, rationalizing.

So off we went, pretty much lazed away the rest of the day and made the prisoner exchange. Bigger wanted Scary Movie night............he got it. The Omen. Remember that one? Big tough guy. Slept on the couch in my bedroom last nite. With a light on. Heh

He slept in, being in the band really is a lot of work for a youngster, and I dropped him off down at Mrs P.'s around 1100 hrs.

I then had to return to Tommy's to exchange a pair of my perfect cargoes. I had put them on for the evening and the darn things were too tight in the waist. I had tried on the 32's and the 34's, opted for the larger, (yes, I wear a 34.......33 inseam if you really hafta know, 40 reg in a suit coat.....Jeez you People are nosy).......where was I?

Right! Got home with the smaller pair. I walked into the store and there stood the same (rather attractive, 40 something) clerk. She looked up, smiled, and said, "I just Knew you'd be back!".

"I sent you off with the wrong pair of pants! So, now that you're back, I'll get the right pair, and You Can Ask Me Out For Coffee."

I friggin' kid you not. I've been out of this for a long time, but what the hell? Aren't I supposed to do the asking here? Aren't I supposed to be the one that has his feelings hurt do to countless rejections?

This is about the third time this has there an invisible sign over my head saying "Divorced Dad, I'll spring for Coffee"? Oh, wait a minute. I did have Lil' Wolfie there with me........that may have been a clue.

So, end of story............yeah, "maybe" I'll take her for coffee. But I took a rain check. I listened to KT in the comments......(no, not entirely......I'm not that pure, ol' buddy).....and I turned on some Rolling Stones.....

Watching girls go passing by
It ain't the latest thing
I'm just standing in a doorway
I'm just trying to make some sense
Out of these girls go passing by
The tales they tell of men

I'm not waiting on a lady
I'm just waiting on a friend
A smile relieves a heart that grieves
Remember what I said
I'm not waiting on a lady
I'm just waiting on a friend
I'm just waiting on a friend

Don't need a (REDACTED)...........PG Blog, remember? "sides, I really dislike that word.
I don't need no booze
Don't need a virgin priest
But I need someone I can cry to
I need someone to protect
Making love and breaking hearts
It is a game for youth
But I'm not waiting on a lady
I'm just waiting on a friend

And Mick was just a kid when they wrote it.......
I'm gonna read a book.......about Sir Parsifal and his quest for the Holy Grail.
Second time.....I think there's an essay in it somewhere.

Light a candle against the darkness
Look forward with vigilance
Nothing to fear

I've got your back.

Ok, I'm back........

Anybody even Notice that Wollf didn't post last nite?

No??..........hmmm, didn't think so. I was Busy. THAT, I think, is a breakthrough for me.

Tonight, I think I'm going to talk a bit about where I am, where I'm going, and my observations on this whole Divorce/Separation/ADD/Introspection/Journey thingie that I'm on, and what I've learned about myself..........

You can't say I didn't warn you.

This little "Glitch in the Matrix", (copy write not even Close to pending), has taken on a tiny little life of its' own. I can see that it's influenced by my becoming more accepting of myself, and a whole lot because of your input, both via the comments and e-mails.

People who didn't even "exist" in my perception of reality three months ago. People whose "existence" I now hold dear.

Jeez, what a suck up.
Carry on, I'll be back later.

My entire perception of my situation has changed remarkably. I suppose that I've stumbled upon the "right" way for me to deal with this whole thing. If not for the steps that I've taken, in the Order that I've taken them, I would probably still be an emotional mess.

I've worked it from the inside out...........learning about myself, accepting responsibility where it was mine, Honoring my commitments......and finally accepting myself for who I really am.

Who am I? That guy in the "about me"........just a "regular" guy.........a guy who works hard to get a good paycheck, who works hard to be a good Sire, a guy, "now", who can focus on the importance of relational issues without sacrificing who he really is.

And I'm enjoying it.

Mrs P. noted the other day that I had "changed". That I seemed even more the quirky, joyful fellow that I was when we had met lo these twenty years ago. Hell yes I was quirky and joyful. I was just emerging from a Horrible situation....And I was still alive and with all of my,(well most), body parts still attached.

Ok, that deserves a "little" explanation......just the end of one of my fingers....another in a myriad of interesting scars on this body of mine. (Oh, as an aside, this IS a Wizard holiday)

I felt.........good?, more like vindicated that she said that. Where was she going with that remark?

I don't know. I truly don't care. I only have one "expectation", and it is the only one that I can control. I Expect myself to act in all things, with Honor.

I started this blog as a semi private journal. I put a Lot of stuff out there in the ether. When a few good Souls "stumbled" upon it............That's what made the difference. It held me accountable. I received a few comments, and it made me re-read my posts.

It made what I was saying to myself sink in, if that makes any sense to you. A journal is getting everything off of your chest. This blog was doing the same thing, but with the added power of thoughtful comments from the four corners....(no, I'm not kidding), of this continent.

Tremendously powerful shi-ite for this Wollf to absorb. Thanks, once again.

Mrs P. is working on a different way. I don't get it, I don't care for it, but I don't judge it. I simply don't care. Her choice. Her future.

Me? My choices. My future. My Cubs' futures.

Since I'm in Wizard mode, yesterday And today, I am Bored with this subject. I wanna do something fun, but what?

I have an idea. I'll tell a story.......or two or the next post. But you know something? I'm going to get some Haagen Daz first. Strawberry. Yum.

In a bit....unless something distracts me..........