Monday, August 31, 2009

Hey.........That's Me!!!!!

Darned "fans", gonna get me in trouble.......
Cut it out

Amerind thoughts.......

What to say to A White Person Upon First Meeting:

10. How much white are you?

9. I'm part white myself, you know.

8. I learned all your people's ways in the Boy Scouts.

7. My great-great-grandmother was a full-blooded white-Canadian princess.

6. Funny, you don't look white.

5. Where's your powdered wig and knickers?

4. Do you live in a covered wagon?

3. What's the meaning behind the square dance?

2. What's your feeling about river-boat casinos? Do they really help your people, or are they just a short-term fix?

1. Oh wow! I really love your hair! Can I touch it?

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Another story to tell........

But first a heads up.....those who have been around understand that I and my sibling Pack are 1/4 in an obscure to you "white folk".....Amerind.

I had a number of adventures with south western Brothers, being born and raised in Arizona, and I have a rather odd one to share......but first, you have to understand the particular cultural mindset involved.....

Which means, my Dears, that you are going to have to suffer a few.....well let's call them "Prequels"......before you get the story......

To whit......a Navajo "true" story........

In 1966, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City, where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface. Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar space suits.

Nearby, a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him what the strange creatures were and the NASA people told them that they are just men that are getting ready to go to the moon. The man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.

The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder. After the man gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would not. Later, they tried to get a few more people on the reservation to translate and every person they asked would chuckle and then refuse to translate. Finally, with cash in hand, someone translated the message, "Watch out for these guys, they come to take your land."

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Lil' Wolfie is Twelve!!!!!!!

Hippo Birdies to my youngest Cub. Great Guy, Srsly,and he is gonna have a Great a Mongoose bike, we have cake,Dragn is out right now getting his FAVE Orange Chicken for dinner, and he..........'s his Birfday.....he's busy killin' Japs on Peleliu....Xbox, Call of Duty, dontcha know.......

Dammit, I am a Lucky Man......
Gotta go play.

A Physics Test...........

The Question......

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics.

To resolve the problem, it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics. For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H =0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi square root (l / g)."

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

He then received credit for the class.
Heh....H/T Denny

Friday, August 28, 2009

I just always got a kick.......

.....out of this list of "Movie Rules"........

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.

At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape.

You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off, but luckily you’ll always blindly choose to cut the right wire.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

Welcome to My Country.......

Now you're just an American.......

Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.

'In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language.. And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.'
Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Wollfs love Bull Moose

Howlin' at the Moon........

......Mourning is over....I don't like me when I'm sad, so "Onward into the Fog...."

H/T Lynn in comments....


Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Obituary for a Special Woman........

Barbara P. REDACTED, 88, Beloved Wife, Mother and Friend, passed away on August 14th, 2009 after a short illness.

She was born in Westerly, Rhode Island 1922 and had lived in Tucson since 1949. She is survived by devoted husband Carl “Steve” REDACTED, daughters Gloria and Carla, sons David and Scott with 14 Grandchildren and 21 Great Grandchildren. Barbara was predeceased by her eldest son Michael.

Barbara graduated from College and taught College at age 16. She worked for the Pentagon WWII, Gene Reid Tucson Parks, Mayor Fred Emery and Mike’s Electric. Barbara also taught Red Cross and volunteered for Southern Arizona Rescue / SARA and was a Daughter of the Nile at Sabaar Shrine Temple.

She is greatly missed, but we know, securely and contentedly in the hands of her Lord. An Angel from Earth has moved to Heaven. Goodbye. God Bless. We Love You!

Then one of her favorite songs that we three "Charming Ruffian" Sons of hers would sing to her....usually after we knew we were in trouble, because it always made her smile.

*Now I know the why and how of the Hummingbird below......
Bless you Momma

Another Hummingbird.......

I don't know why.....but I must admit, I enjoy it.
Heck, I don't even know how......

This little fella got lost in my garage, and was getting tired, so I caught him, took him out back to the oohs and ahhs of Wolfie the Elder and Dragn, and stuck his little nose in the feeder......

He drank up a storm, got his bearings back and buzzed off into the sunset.

Life is Good.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

And then from Now.........

The weekend was almost too busy, what with Three Lil'Wolfie scrimmages......

* He would be the Tackler, not the Tacklee in the pics......*

Then a dinner date and visit with some of Dragn's old friends, and my new ones, that went into the evening, then an early Sunday wake up and tickets to the Cubbies/ Dodgers game!!

Great seats, Cubbies won, and all was well in the world......Except that's not today's story.

You see, it's so embarassing, that I had to work my way into it....I have a reputation to keep, yannow?

The Setup:

I had loaned my Pick em up truck to a friend the day before, took the truck key off the ring and told him to drop it in the mailbox when he returned, as we had gone out with other friends,(see above)......

Well, had retrieved said key from said mailbox, walked down to the street, opened the truck to take my camera inside, and locked it up for the evening, went to bed and didn't get up until the next morning.......

Anyways....about 0900, I realized that I had to make an "emergency" trip to the pet store so that the menagerie could be fed before we left for the game.......

Couldn't Find the Keys.......walked down to the truck, and there it was, pretty as can be, sitting on the front seat, locked inside.......

Windows rolled ALL the way up, no way to get in, and now I was hyper focussed on getting that damm key and doing my pet food run.....

Called the tow service, and they sent a nice young man out in a jiffy, at the quoted price of $55USD.......

He jimmied the window locks, opened the door........and the Alarm went off.

No problem, not at all....I reactively reached in my Levis pocket, pulled out my remote that's attached to my key RING, which I HADN'T given to my friend, and silenced the Alarm.........

That's when the tow truck driver looked at me............and started giggling......and asked, "Did you have that remote in your pocket all this time?"

I looked down at my hand, and nonchalantly, REMOTELY, locked and unlocked the truck two or three the tow truck driver's giggling crescendo.

He told me to give him a twenty and we'd be square. He hadn't laughed so well in weeks.........

Senior moment? Nah, happens all the time. ADD, attention deficit disorder, has a flip side to it, sometimes really good....think recon, crisis reaction,multiple tasking beyond the pale.......and in,

My state of hyper focus wanted "THAT" key, the one locked in the truck. Never even dawned on me that I had that damm remote sitting on my key ring all the time......

Then I had to go and tell M'Lady Dragn......sheesh. Keep it our little secret, won't you?

Monday, August 24, 2009

A Story from my Youth......

Okay, so my neighbors officially hated me when I was growing up......they, well most of them got over it.....

An example......

Well, me, my Buddy Steve and David "upthestreet", were having a little bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s’mores and all.....just having a fine old time, maybe sneaking a little bit of the Sar'Major's stash from the liquor cabinet.....only a little, don't you know....

When suddenly we hear sirens, Lots of sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in back of us......and then another.....and another.......

So we all went running up the alley to see what was up, and our neigbor’s house was on fire!

Holy Crap!

Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever......

Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire…........

Talk about bad timing…......

Friday, August 21, 2009

ADD thoughts that everybody has........

Some my own, and others gleaned from the innertoobs........

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto/Barrio” routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only more interesting, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

Why is there no such thing as News any more? It's all spin and opine.........

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. I'm too lazy to save the world.......

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish reading a text from Dragn.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”. LMFAO, on the other hand........

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it….

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my own friggin' neighborhood.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.........srsly

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my @$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

My 11-year old Cub asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewellers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Coronas than Kay Jewelers......

Why is it that whenever I lose my keys, they're ALWAYS behind the milk in the refrigerator?

Best Retards,

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Warning.....Break out the tissues before you read this.......

.....And don't blame ol'Wollf for this. Sent with a wet cheek I'm sure, from my Dear Dragn........

They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike.

For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls - he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new things once he settled in. but it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to.

I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and "come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it. He never really seemed to listen when I called his name - sure, he'd look in my direction after the fourth of fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever. When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.

This just wasn't going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell. The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search mode for my cellphone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the "damn dog probably hid it on me."

Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter's number, I also found his pad and other toys from the shelter.. I tossed the pad in Reggie's direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home. But then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come here and I'll give you a treat." Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction - maybe "glared" is more accurate - and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down. With his back to me.

Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number.

But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that, too. "Okay, Reggie," I said out loud, "let's see if your previous owner has any advice.".........


To Whoever Gets My Dog: Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner. I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this, it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab after dropping him off at the shelter. He knew something was different. I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip, but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong. And something is wrong... which is why I have to go to try to make it right.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. the more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't matter where you throw them, he'll bound after it, so be careful - really don't do it by any roads. I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.

Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I'll go over them again: Reggie knows the obvious ones - "sit," "stay," "come," "heel." He knows hand signals: "back" to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your hand out right or left.. "Shake" for shaking water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He does "down" when he feels like lying down - I bet you could work on that with him some more. He knows "ball" and "food" and "bone" and "treat" like nobody's business.

I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six in the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He's up on his shots. Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when he's due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car - I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.

And that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you....

His name's not Reggie.

I don't know what made me do it, but when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie. He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. but I just couldn't bear to give them his real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I'd never see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it means everything's fine. But if someone else is reading it, well... well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It'll help you bond with him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems.

His real name is Tank.

Because that is what I drive.

Again, if you're reading this and you're from the area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn't make "Reggie" available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with... and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call the the shelter... in the "event"... to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made good on his word.

Well, this letter is getting to downright depressing, even though, frankly, I'm just writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family. but still, Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family.

And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me.

That unconditional love from a dog is what I took with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things... and to keep those terrible people from coming over here. If I had to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He was my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that's enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. I don't think I'll say another good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you, Paul Mallory


I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.

The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

"C'mere boy."

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months.

"Tank," I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him.

"It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and licked my cheek. "So whatdaya say we play some ball? His ears perked again. "Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?" Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room.

And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.
Hope you liked it......M'Lady's Momma sent the story to her. I thought the pictures were a nice added touch, so I did 'em.

Onlyiest thing that might beat a Dog's Love is well........nothing.
Less you're married to a Dragn.

The "NEW" Bill of Rights........

.......Sent to me in an E-mail......H/T Dammit Woman!

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth.. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes ..

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not, who will?

Don't you just agree?
If not....there's no hope for you.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Musical Interlude......... looks silly, The Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain......

But this ain't no Tiny Tim.....enjoy.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Daniel Hannan.........

Just watch it, and tell me what you think.......

Good Job, Daniel

I Told Dragn.........

.....Don't leave the turkey on the counter, says I......but did she listen? Nooooooo,.......... It'll be fine right there, she says.......

Ransom won't touch it, she says..........


Don't worry, no Kittehs were harmed during the making of this Photoshop.....

Ransom is fine now, and back to his athletic Kitteh self......funnier than hell when I popped him with a pin though.....ziiiiiiip, swoosh plop.

Monday, August 17, 2009

From a Fed "somewhere"............

An Analysis of US Law Enforcement Agencies upon Encountering a "Venomous Snake" Within Their Jurisdiction:

1. FBI - Searches for, but cannot locate the snake. After the snake is caught by local police, the FBI forms a Snake Task Force of 150 agents, sets up a command center, holds a press conference, and takes credit for capturing the snake. Upon taking credit, the impressive command post is packed up and the FBI task force returns to their office to await another large event to take credit for... In the mean time, FBI management requests 4,000 more agents to combat snake activity associated with terrorism.

2. US Secret Service - Forms a protective ring of agents around the snake and escorts it to a safe area.

3. ATF - Sends SRT team to arrest the snake. They expend all of their ammo, then burn the forest down, killing the snake, and everything else in the forest. At a Congressional inquiry, they make a presentation of why additional funding is required to properly train agents to battle the threat of snakes. The only questions asked by ATF management after the operation is whether or not there was a proper operational plan in place, if the plan was followed, and who can take the fall for anything that went wrong.

4. TSA - Abiding by a Congressional ruling to prevent "profiling" venomous snakes, the TSA makes random inspections. Venomous snakes are regularly allowed to pass while TSA officials strip search a family of squirrels.

5. IRS-CID - Performs an in-depth investigation of the snake and writes a 100-page summary of why the snake should not be prosecuted. The investigation is closed and all agents are out of the office by 4:30pm.

6. ICE - After obtaining permission from the USSS, CBP, FBI, FPS, IRS, FINCEN, DEA, ATF, FAMS, FEMA, and the Girl Scouts of America, they mail the snake a notice to appear on a specified date for a status hearing. The snake never responds and is promptly forgotten.

7. DEA - Initiates a Title 3 and an MLAT investigation on the snake's cell phone after discovering that the above-listed agencies have begun an investigation on the snake. DEA spends $3 million to discover the snake is not Colombian...

8. U.S. Attorney's Office - Declines prosecution out of "professional courtesy."

9. USBP (Border Patrol) - Captures the snake. Their inability to communicate with the snake results in a recruitment drive for snake handlers. They take the snake back to the border (for the 40th time).

10. US Forest Service - They have meeting after meeting. Management wrings their hands and decide to deny any existence of the snake on public lands. All agents are ordered to Washington to prevent any sighting of the snake. All agents are ordered to refer to the snakes as "legal reptiles."

11. NCIS - Initially, after MTAC cited snakes are occasionally aquatic, the Navy recognized the nexus, but put OSP on the case. Nothing was communicated to the agents in the field and two hard-charging guys in the Midwest uncover the whereabouts of the snake within their AOR. However, after revealing a nefarious plot by the snake to bite a Senior Level VIP and reporting Intel on same - the snake was deemed to be a U.S. protected person and the agents are chastised and ridiculed. The snake slithers away with no further adverse action out of professional courtesy with the nay-sayers.

12. Local Police Officer - Shoots the snake after ‘accidentally” driving over it several times. The officer then puts the snake in a County Deputy’s car while it is parked outside the nearest Starbucks

As the "unknown" Fed would say......"Hee Hee"

Kelley Won!!!

Remember the Lap-Band surgery that I asked you to vote for?

She Won, and a Bunch of the reason is you Folkes out there. It was nip and excuse for that pun, but Kelley is getting the help she needs.

In her words,

I wanted to say thank you so much for everyone who voted for me. I WON and I couldn't have won without every ones help. Thanks so much for asking everyone that you knew to vote for me and please tell everyone thank you so much."


Thanks did a good thing.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My Momma Passed Away.........

......Yesterday, after a brief battle with cancer. It was peaceful, she had her Beloved since 1941 by her side.......*sigh*, I thought that I could write a proper homage to a Woman who has lived along and good life......putting up with, and Loving the Sar'Major, (my Dad), instilling all of the good things that made her children Good People.........

But I can't. I'm not capable of explaining what a wonderful, loving Woman Barbara PinkHam was.....graduated college at about sixteen, worked with a top secret clearance at the Pentagon pre and during WWII, met a brash Marine Sergeant at a street dance in 1941.....and married him....worried about him as she had 5 of his children.....

Nursed him back to health, both physically and mentally, over the course of the War and later.....She Loved him, and accepted Him with the stoicism of her Culture....

He received the Medals, and the newspaper write ups......Momma raised the kids, and Loved her Man. She chose well.....

The Sar'Major Loved her with all his heart, a heart that was healed of the Hell of Peleliu, by Her.....Patient, kind, loving.....and able to toss any of her progeny across the room in a well executed Jiu Jitsu move.....

I, and my Siblings mourn her.....I played the Amerind flute to her last night, and we celebrate a Life well Lived.

Prayers for her Soul...yup, but She doesn't need them.....Prayers for my Sire and his wellness would be appreciated.......He has always been surprised that he lived longer than 50.......G-d bless my Little Brother, Wollf the Younger, for his Love and attentiveness, and his Wife.....Good People, and Boots on the Ground.

Thanks for your Prayers and concern.....My Momma taught me to be stoic....maybe it's an Amerind thing....I'm done with the's time to Dance in Memoriam of a Fine Lady.

She's with Grandfather, her Mother, my Brother Michael and my Daughter Heather now....oh my goodness, what a "Hell of a group in Heaven"......

Save me a place, Momma, and keep those others under control.
I Love You.
Wollf ......Malsom N'qoss

Friday, August 14, 2009

My new Party.....Dems, Pubs and all.......

Do it....steal the logo, put it on your site, send it around and spread the word.

Fire them All.
Just once is all it will take.

Says it all for me........

I just don't want Gummint to run my Health Care.....Period.

I'm not going to jump up and down and scream down anyone who disagrees with me, I'm a fairly reasonable sort after all......

And I'm not freaked out about "Death Panels" and "Rationing", and long lines and waits while being "approved".

I just look at the wonderful job Gummint has done with The Post Office......*Hey, Postal Inspectors excepted there, Chi-town*, and the DMV, and running our Country so into the Red that there's no digging out, and Social Security, and the Revenue Service, and SEIU guaranteed infinitum......

And I think it has to stop.

The Cartoon says it all.....

Political rant ends........*NOE*

And then a little joke........

Sent to me by Mr. Fraser.........

An Israeli doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that
we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have
him looking for work in six weeks.'

A Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced
that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another,
and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

An ILLINOIS doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way
behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of ILLINOIS ,
put him in the White House for THREE MONTHS, and now half
the WORLD is looking for work.

Another little....."heh".

From the Orlando Sentinel.........

Oh....Come on....sheesh, seems it'll cost more to
Investgate" this "Crime" than to just take the darn things down........

CLERMONT - Clermont police have interviewed one suspect who is admitting to putting up the dozens of posters pasted around the city depicting President Obama as the Joker character from the Batman film The Dark Knight, city officials confirmed.

Assistant City Manager Darren Gray said city officials have an individual "admitting to putting up 500" of the posters.

Clermont Police Capt. Eric Jensen said the male individual has admitted to putting up some signs, but investigators suspect others were involved and their investigation is continuing.

"We have talked to an individual," Jensen said. "He only admitted to some of it...We're still tracking down leads and talking to folks. We have not arrested anybody."

At this point officials are not sure how much damage was caused by the signs or the dollar amount associated with the clean-up.

Dozens of the posters were pasted around the city earlier this week. A pair of the posters were pasted to a Clermont Post Office collection box. They prompted the postmaster to contact the Postal Inspector's office, which is looking at potential federal crimes for defacing federal property.

City officials, meanwhile, are trying to determine what local crimes might be associated with the posting of the images on public and private properties. They've also been busy ripping down the sticky signs because they're a violation of city ordinance regarding illegal signs.

Jensen said he doesn't have a good count on the number of posters put up because, he said, "People are going out and tearing them down."

In a press release put out late today, Jensen said the suspect "also asked if he could video tape the encounter with the officers." Clermont Police declined that request.

"Currently we are still conducting interviews of victims, witnesses, and other suspects who were placing the Obama Joker Poster throughout our city," Jensen said in the statement. "We believe that the postings are the result of multiple suspects. We are hopeful that we can develop enough information to present charges of vandalism to the State Attorney's Office for review."

He did not have a specific reason why the individual who admitted to putting up the posters spent so much time sticking them to surfaces around the city, but Jensen suspects it may have something to do with a contest linked to the image of the President in white face and smeared lipstick, like the Joker......

The whole thing at Clicky Clicky

Hey Chi-Town.....are you Folkes on the Case?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Pop Quiz !!!!!!!

Everybody put away your books, take out a number Two pencil, and Begin.....

1) In the Picture below, we see that Dragn has:

A) A New Haircut.
B) A New Tan
C) A New Beretta .380 Double Action Automatic
D) All of the Above
E) Other....Note in Comments

In the picture below, we see that Wollf:

A) Has Gas
B) Hates Arizona in the Summer
C) Should park the Truck in the Shade

The Vehicle below:

A) Has a fine handlebar moustashe
B) Should have a horn that goes "MOOOOO"
C) Can ONLY be found in Arizona or Texas

From the pictures below we see that:

A) It's Football Season
B) Lil'Wolfie is playin' the Footsball
C) Damm Cub is growing up Fast
D) Wollf and Dragn are gonna be having a Great time on Saturday Afternoons

*Yes, I obscured Lil" Wolfie's Jersey*

We don't need to advertise to Ever-Bodies just who he is....for their safety, not Wolfies....Refer to Photo # One......

Have a great evening, we're off to Footsball Practice.

Just a Random Thought.......



(Whoever wrote this one deserves a HUGE pat on the back!)

Like most folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay
my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to
get that paycheck in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test
(with which I have no problem). What I do have a problem with is the
distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

So, here is my Question: Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a
welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their
feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting
on their ass - doing drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much
money each state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a
public assistance check?

I guess we could title that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Have I Posted this before????

Taxes are complicated…

Regular Folkes can't possibly comprehend all the regulations........

So, tell them in terms they might understand, like beer drinking.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. ’Since you are all such good customers, he said, ‘I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.

Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’ They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

‘I only got a dollar out of the $20,’declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,’ but he got $10!’
‘Yeah, that’s right,’ exclaimed the fifth man. ‘I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!’
‘That’s true!!’ shouted the seventh man. ‘Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!’
‘Wait a minute,’ yelled the first four men in unison. ‘We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!’

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine
sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may
not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

Or at least someplace other than California.....
And I like my Beer.

H/T Denny

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Somebody's going to report me as being "Fishy".....


Ronnie said it, I Believe it......'nuff said.

Monday, August 10, 2009

An interlude on the sad stuff.......

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us.

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin sheet rock..."

Stories like this just bring a tear to your eye.

Just thought you might be interested........

Woll's Momma and the Sar'Major in 1941 when they were a bit younger. I come from pretty good stock......married the same year and he went off to the South Pacific...

Busy day at work today, so I have to go in a bit early....should be able to post some photos and be a bit more upbeat this evening after Lil" Wolfie's football practice......

Keep the prayers coming, but realize that these two have had a mostly wonderful and full life....

Saturday, August 8, 2009

A real short posting.......

.....just to catch up......

Been in Tucson since Wednesday.....Momma's not doing well at all, she's 88 years old, has the big "C" and the outlook is.....well, dismal.

But dismal is too harsh a word....She has had a wonderful and productive Life, and is surrounded by People who Love and appreciate her....

I'll elaborate when I have a chance back in the mean time, Thank You to all my Friends who have given Prayers...they Work.

When I first saw her, she was a truly pitiful sight, labored breathing, down attitude, and she at least has picked up....Karla....yup, that"s M'Lady Dragn, and I had a really uplifting couple of visits with her and the Sar'Major......

He is a frightened and confused Man....the Love of his Life since 1941 is fading quickly and he doesn't know what to do.....

Pray, if you're the type, for my Baby Bro and his Wonderful Wife....they are taking good care of the Folkes, and it is a trying experience.....

Once again, Thank you for your Prayers....

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Reverend Manning ........

At it again......I'm posting this without comment, see what you have to say....

Srsly....without comment.

*well...except for saying that I Lourves this Man*
Was that a comment?
H/T Mr. Fraser.....

Heading back to Tucson this evening with Momma's not doing so well....

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Cap'n Crunch Arrested.......

Hicksville, AL -- Cap'n "Captain" Crunch was arrested Saturday on conspiracy charges for misleading consumers into believing that "Crunchberries" are actual berries. The multi-million dollar conspiracy came to an end after a year-long investigation and at a cost of over $2 million to taxpayers. In response, a class-action lawsuit has been filed against Crunch by 11,000 8-year-olds.

"He calls himself a Cap'n, but he's really nothing but a pirate!" said the lead police investigator, Dave Starsky. "He violated the sanctity of the American breakfast," he added, "I truly felt raped."

Crunch's lawyers have dismissed the claims as "racially motivated," citing a recent interview in Vanity Fair where Crunch was quoted as saying that a "wise Latino Cap'n would make better and crunchier cereal than either a white Cap'n OR Captain"

Harvard scientists, who studied the "Crunchberries" as part of the police investigation, were initially puzzled as to how Crunch, a mere captain of a fishing vessel, was able to mimic the texture, taste and chemical composition of real berries. "They look so real and lifelike," said scientist, Joseph Wurzelbacher, "especially in the picture on the cereal box which is 'magnified to show texture'."

It was actually one of the scientists' children, however, who eventually solved the case. "It's just a crunchy piece of oat and cornmeal," said 8-year-old Danny Fitzegerald. "Once I realized that all the adults were too stupid to realize this, I called the police and prepared my class-action lawsuit."

The mayor of Danny's home town, Hicksville, supports kids being active in corporate muckraking and dangerous police investigations. He will present Danny the key to the city at a town-hall meeting on Monday.

Officials are investigating other claims against breakfast-cereal mascots, including a recent allegation against "Lucky" that his "Lucky Charms" cereal may not actually increase the statistical chances of success.

Chris Walters ""Crunchberries" are not real berries"., 2009

Alert...Alert...Alert!!!! Reposted.....

This thing needs more attention....Please go vote...By the way, there are newer Posts below!!! Contest ends Friday evening and we're losing the lead.......

Calling all denizens of the Forest and hills and visitors to the Lair, (that's Here Sillies)......

Wollf needs some help, and you can do it in about twenty seconds.

I have a Dear Friend whose sister has a problem that can be solved with your help.

She's got a weight problem that's adversely affecting her health...spell that "She's a Whole Lotta Woman", folks. Fluffier than is healthy for her....

She's in a "voting" contest for a free Lap-Band surgery and a years worth of follow up treatment on a local Radio show, KHAY in Ventura CA.....

All you have to do is follow the "clicky thingie", register and Vote..... Her name is Kelley Hargett and you can vote...... RIGHT HERE

If you do, you'll be my Friend....well, you probably are anyways, but I thought I'd give you added incentive....heh.

Ok, now go do it. Then I'll clean out some of my goofy picture folders for tonight's regularly scheduled silliness....

You'll be doing a really nice Lady a real big favor. can consider it a slap in the face to ObamaCare if it makes you feel more better.....I expect thousands...or at least three.
Thanks...let me know if you voted, eh?

And a follow up........

An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week, which I quote:

” If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6
per 100,000 for the same period.

That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the US, than you are in Iraq.”

Conclusion: The US should pull out of Washington.

In Chicago this July, 42 people were shot and killed, while an additional 183 were shot and wounded

In Afghanistan, 47 U S military were killed and an additional 199 were wounded.

Wrap your head around that for a second...
42 killed here, 47 there.
183 wounded here, 199 there.

Now for the incredible part...
Chicago's numbers are for 1 to 30 July.
Afghanistan's are for the entire year 2009

Wollf, via my adoptive NCIS wit.......
The Chicago Way......Obama's War.