Just Thinking is all.....

I'm going to be working on myself a bit more intensely this week. I have a lot of emotions to deal with now that we're in the dying throes of this union. One of my questions to myself is have I given my 120 percent to trying to save this?

Yes, I think so. If I were ever to write a book on Separation and Divorce for Men, I'd have to make that the recurring theme that permeated the text. That "Beyond the Call" imperative is what is going to allow a Man to live with the outcome five years down the line.

We, you Ladies too, have to understand that we cannot control another person emotionally. They "Feel" whatever it is that they feel. It's what makes us unique, and is what draws us together as friends or lovers in the first place.

Pleading for someone to love us is not only demeaning, it's downright counter productive to the process.To Either way that the "process" ends. Reconciliation or Divorce.

Yup, as my longtime, (heh, three months), friends and readers know, ol Wollf went through the initial, and quite normal, "I'll change","Don't feel that way", "Please....." stages early on.

Then I cleaned up the act, concentrated on Myself, and the "changes" that I wanted to do......For Me. I re found my misplaced Honor and Pride. I took my "maleness" down off of the mantle where I had allowed them to lie in state, and reaffirmed myself as an Alpha Man in the truest sense.

I have Power. Enough power that I don't have to use it when dealing with the People I care for, Cubs, friends, spouse......I have Control. Over ME. Over my actions and reactions, my responses to outside stimuli in a dignified and Honorable manner.

I realise that I don't have to, and don't Want to control another person. I simply can't. Don't try to yourselves. If you Love someone, let them be who they are. Support them and nourish them, but Let them Be......"Themselves".

I am finally, at my age, heh, allowing myself the comfort of being "afraid". Don't freak out on me here, Ol' Wollf isn't turning into a bowl of sniveling mush. I mean quite simply, that I'm allowing myself to ponder my future.....with concern about the path that I take.

No more "Damn the Torpedoes", no plan, make it up as you go approach to Human interaction. I will "focus", because I can now, on the Person that I'm dealing with. In that way, my Muggle patch is a blessing that I wish I'd had from the beginning.

Not just in my writing and follow through in the mundane, but now in the mysterious world of Relationships. I'll no longer have a thought, be it an affirmation or a negative, and then think to myself that I have to work on that, and of a sudden........"Oooh, Look! Something Shiny!!". Nope, now I will pursue that thought to its' conclusion, and act on it.

With Honor. And Dignity. Even when I'm crawling thought the bushes, exterminating evil six legged aliens with my 10 year old Cub. That's part of it. If a Man has True Honor and Dignity......he can act the fool and be joyous.......

Duty and Honor are calling from out my window.
Lil' Wolfie wants to play.

Hope I don't tear my jeans.........ahh, who cares?
Wollf