Wollf really dislikes being less than 100% ambulatory. Mobility is freedom. Roaming, walking, exploring.....ahh, that is fun. Doing so with a cane attached so the knee doesn't pop is not.
It's time. Time to leave the familiar confines of my surroundings and adventure a bit. I've got vacation time up the wazoo, I'm single, the Cubs are headed back to school.....it's time to hunt.
And I have the ADD, remember? (if not, you will by the end of this ridiculous post. I'm in hyper-attention mode today) I was thinking about a Grand adventure. And my Spirit is soaring, so I started wondering......
Hmmmm, Coast to Coast is about.....2,373 miles as the crow flies.
That's approximately, give or take a few thousand, 14,418,622 feet between the Atlantic, let's say in Florida, and the Pacific, right here by me in Kalifornia.
The average sheep is just about four feet long. Stick with me here, it makes sense to me.......if it does to you, call a Doctor....
That would be 3,604,655.5 sheep standing end to end, right? Simple mathematics here, People. We give them a four foot separation, so that they can graze and not have to look direrctly at each others butts, and that number is halved.
Which of course, drops the necessary number to 1,802,327.5 sheep. I'll eat the half sheeps so they won't be wasted. Besides, a Wollf needs sustenance on his journey.
Let's assume two seconds for a sheep leap, one second to leap, one second recovery and approach. That would take 901,118 seconds, or 15,018 minutes, or 251 hours.
That's Ten and a half Days at full Wollfie leap speed, not to mention Rancher dodging time, an ocassional nap......and the two half sheep dinners might not be enough.
That's a long time. Round trip air is only about $400.00 with a two week lead. But, $400.00 is $400.00......gotta watch the money, and just think of the carbon offsets I can market out of this deal. I could get rich and retire in Miami by the time I get there!
G-d bless you, Algore. G-d bless Global Warmening.
Anybody have about a million sheep you don't need for about a week?
I simply have got to think a little more about this. I want to go in mid February. Any help will be appreciated.
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Next up, "How to Rid your Yard of Ground Squirrels"
Caramel Chunk ice cream tonite.....all mine, Cubs went down the hill!
Wollf
5 comments:
Will this be a surface trek or do you plan to be booked into the penal system called commercial flight?
You could ride a bike all the way across country. That would be totally insane, but you could do it.
Why not drive? You could go through some cool places like Santa Fe, NM and stop for delicious food in N'awlins.
This sheep thing would never work, see - because farm animals are far more dangerous than global warming, you know - it's the methane. It's the next big push by the warmistas.
i think ewe were just trying to pull the wool over our eyes on this one. and besides, you would end up looking pretty sheepish if you had to stop in the middle.
not to mention, when asked, we would all have to reply, "Wollf is on the lamb..."
sorry.
Ouch, AA...hey Rose, yay, you got the satire....not good satire, but satire.
Wollf
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