This is a post that's been a long time coming. I know my marriage is over, we all do, probably you folkes before I did. So, that being said, do I have regrets? Sure I do. Big ones? Not any more. I gave it what I could, and that's all anyone can be expected to do.
This post is Wollf looking at it a little bit differently. No beating myself up, definitely not beating her up. She's still broken....or maybe just so different that her thinking seems alien in ways.....
The question I asked myself was,"Do I regret having married her in the first place?"
Brought a whole pile of thoughts to the fore. The answer, barring the recent heartache part, I never want to feel that again, is a resounding "No".
And because of that honest answer, I'm really able to move onward without carrying any semblance of anger or hate. Hell, if we all look back at things in our lives, especially long term relationships that fizzled out, we can see the positives.
I got three of the most wonderful Cubs out of this. Each one completely different than the other. Three new and forever best friends. (Well, when they're not in an I hate you moment), She and I made a lot of memories together, both good and bad.
It's what marriage is all about. It's what Life is all about. There are days when you love each other more than life itself, and then there are days when you feel like you wish they'd just fade off into the mist.
There's goofy memories that stick with you. Like having a "cheese ball Olympics", memories of trips shared to places that you both "oh so" wanted to see. Tender moments at the births of your babies, horrible moments at the death of a daughter, the sweet sweet feel of reassuring or desirous arms, the warmth of a loving body on a cold night, sharing a glass of wine by candlelight or a beer at a ballgame.
Learning about each other, feeling comfortable with each other, and now, learning to forget about each other........none of them bad, just another step on the path of life.
And now we've started a brand new game, with different players at familiar positions, new rules to be learned, new mistakes to be made. Well, it's time to get this new game started. My team is looking for some fresh faces. Tryouts have begun. I'm pretty sure that I'll make the team.
Batter UP!!
Let's have some fun.
Wollf
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Beautifully said. You are going to be fine. May you be lifelong friends as you both move forward.
In my world, you are known as "Man With Thinking Heart" - a rare breed.
Post a Comment