Saturday, May 24, 2008

Philosophy Time, Kiddies....

A couple reiterations of "truths"....*Wollf Truths*, that I've ingrained in my Being since the start of this Journey. I've been rather lazy for a while in my sharing whatever goofy insights that I have......partly because of a slight fear of going back to those darker times.....

I'll fill the readership in as to what's transpired in the near future when I feel that I can....suffice to say, that something that I "hoped" would work out, didn't.
It hurt, and I retreated a bit......

But I have a few Friends who are going through difficult times, and dealing with their own losses in the realm of Love....or at least Relationship.

One of the most Powerful tools of Understanding that I have acquired along my close to ten month Journey so far is that.....

"Only You can make You Happy". We hear it, and more than likely think, if not say, "I just want to be Happy".

Ready for advice? So....friggin' Be Happy. Make a conscious decision to be Happy. Act as though you're Happy. Don't blame the "other" Person in your life for your unhappiness. It's really, really your decision.

And, no, I'm not talking about the short term, or those People suffering dire circumstance. I mean, and long term readers know I've been there....when your heart is broken, or the pain and seeming futility of a relationship becomes too much too bear.

We cannot alter another Persons perspective. We cannot change them. If they do not want us in their be it. It hurts, dear G-d, I know it hurts....but to rise from the ashes, we have to get to know and love ourselves, and Decide to be Happy.

Next, and just as important is to Understand the difference between Want and Need. So many Love songs include the phrase or version of..."Baby I Need you."

No I don't. And by extension...No You don't. Need them. You want them, you desire them, you adore them....that's Healthy, and becomes a good solid foundation in a relationship, be it Love or Friendship, Romantic or Platonic.

We Need...just a few things. Water, Food, Air, Shelter. We Need things that keep us physically alive. We will, given the circumstance do anything to get the things we Need.

Up to and including Kill.

Too many People get the two words confused. I want a new Harley. I want it quite badly....will I steal it, or kill someone for it? Of friggin course not.

It's the same thing with a Relationship, Folkes. I loved,(yes old timers will notice the diminutive), a woman for twenty friggin years. Thought I needed her. Once I realised and Understood that simple concept, that I wanted her.....I was able to change my perspective.

You cannot change a Need. You wither and die without it. A Want can be manipulated.

The relatively recent events that I promise to expand on in later posts saw me falling right the hell back into that misunderstanding of Want versus Need. I was feeling a Need for someone who felt the same wasn'tt healthy, especially because we couldn't physically be together.

*Shut the hell up Wollf* failed. Feelings hurt, what could have been salvaged as a Beautiful life long Friendship was Savaged by Need.

So, to my Friends in Angst Ville...think about it.

You don't Need Happiness, it's not on the List, remember? You Want it, and you can have it Truly, my just Deciding to get it. See the difference.....I'm back off the self indulgent always goofy side path....come along with me on the Journey.

We'll show each other how to be Happy.

Oh....yah, patch is way gone....Love? Remember....Love is for Giving. Give it Freely. It will come back to you in some form.



Dammit Woman said...

Wollf ~ This is your best yet. Nice to see you've grown from all your pain. *Hugs*

Rose said...

I am in 100% agreement with this post. Wish more people understood it. Blame kills alot of relationships.

Foxfier, formerly Sailorette said...

Painfully adult.

If you're an adult who'se gone through it...VERY painfully adult.

ΛΕΟΝΙΔΑΣ said...

Some of life's ordeals must be experienced in the first person. No amount of sage advice from those who "have been down that road" will suffice. Often those who impart the advice and counsel caution are either resented or dismissed. To quote the sainted sire of ΛΕΟΝΙΔΑΣ: "Too quick you're old and too late you're wise."
Best of luck.

cry_alone said...

and this blog entry, dear wolfie, is why we all love you *hugs* and why we all treasure you as a dear friend. :) 10 mths.... already.... wow.... i think you've come a long way wolfie :) and i hope i have too... if i have, its partly to do w/ friends like you! thanks for being there wolf. thanks for your wise words, and most of all for your kind loving heart! I'll try to always be there for you to my friend. call on me when needed, I'll always be listening...
walks with wolves

aA said...

Who says you have to be stuffy and boring to be wise?

NOT ME!! You are ONE WISE WOLF, Wollfie! Hit the nail on the head. I have felt the same way for a long time, but have never verbalized it.

And most likely wouldn't have verbalized it as eloquently and in such a down-to-earth way that you did in this post.

Good going, my friend! Good insight.