I Have been married twice.........

And.....in order to quell the rumors.....I shall marry again. Any guesses whom? Right, just as I thought, no one has a clue......sheesh, you Folks are not paying attention.....

And for you doubting Thomas types....yes, I hear you, "Two times divorced, ol' Wollf must be bad at the Marriage thing....what's he thinking?"

I say, "Bah!". I'm actually quite good at being a Husband, Provider, Friend and that "other" thing.....PG-13, remember? I'm getting better at it, and you Know that I've been meditating on it......

You see, my first one.....at 19 lasted twelve years, and gave me two Beautiful Daughters......the second, Twenty Friggin' Years......see, I'm getting better, and how many years do I have left on this Mortal Coil? Thirty....ish?

I'm going for it.....don't try and talk me out of it, unless you want to.....and realise that M'Lady Dragn won't care for it....*laughing*.....

She's gone tonite, and I'm alone at the Lair with Uber, Ransom, Habibi (the Parakeet), and Bob the Fish........so, Really get to write....*phew*...it's a bit difficult when I'm so busy just reveling in the feeling of Her being in my Life....

But, that's not what I came here to talk about tonite....shades of "Alice's Restaurant", which, yes I know ALL the words to, so don't get me started....Dragn made the mistake once.....

Anyways.....M'Lady Dragn, a good Polish Catholic Gurl, and musician Extraordinaire, is off to play drums in a "Praise" band at the local Christian Church......as in Protestant.......*gasp*

I hope she has a wonderful time.....doesn't matter what "flavor" of Believer you are......what matters ...at least to Wollf, is that you follow the "tenets" of what our G-d has Blessed us with.......*yup, another conversation*.......

BUT.....the poor Dear Woman has little experience with Protestant or Evangelical Churches......so.....I gave her a bit of advice from my extensive knowledge......see above , years married....all to "either/or"......

First: The Holy Catholic Church typically has One door to enter and you are "In G-d's House"....the Nave, where the Worship happens.....there's a Fount as you enter filled with Holy Water to prepare yourself and Honor the Father....you know the drill.....don't make me recite.....

Second: In the Protestant Church, there are "typically" TWO" sets of doors.....the first is called the Narthex......not the mud room as you might think, or the Lobby, or any other such secular thing.....

There are often times pamphlets and New Testaments and coffee and donuts for the taking....*Evangelical, remember?*........there is also a.......fountain.....I warned her....

DON'T TOUCH IT!! It's for drinking, of all things, although I have a sneaking suspicion that it's actually a "Catholic Detector"....yes, I did Cross myself once, and trust me, People look at you kinda funny when you do that......

Third: *And this is because she is a Teacher*......during the Worship part of the Service, a few People might raise their hands, and sway them around as if to get your attention.

DO NOT CALL ON THEM!!! They are not wanting to ask a question or request a restroom pass......they are simply feeling the Spirit, and evoking, and Praising our G-d personally....it's the way it's done....oh and....

Fourth: In the same vein, if by chance someone jumps to their feet and shoots their hands upward, eyes to the ceiling........it is NOT the beginning of a Wave like at a sporting event, so try not to yell "Go 'Zona", or "Redwings!!".....it's not like that...........

And then there's this, and finally a bit serious, there "might" be an "Altar Call"...you don't have to go down....you're already a Member of the Eternal Club....

So....that's it for tonight.......Any non-Catholics, please understand the "fun" in which this is meant....the G-d that Wollf Believes in has a Great and Understanding sense of humor........

Don't worry, M'Lady Dragn, after reading this, will probably not leave me alone again.....heh....I feel so much better though, and NO.....no editing, I'll Post and then read this tripe......gotta go.

Probably to Confession.
"Forgive me Father Mike, for I have Written"........

Oh, He'll understand........
May our G-d Bless you all.....
Wollf