Kalifornia here we come.........lots of fairly interesting things to write, including Gun "rules" as opposed to "Laws" in the great State of 'Zona.....my baby bro's politikal leanings, the Sar'Major and Momma, accordions, Mumbai madness and beautiful skies......
But later....havta hit the road. be safe........
Wollf
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thanksgiving Zen,.........
The next post down is a little.....you know, the "sensitive" side of ol' Wollf.
Thought I'd give you a present to listen to while or if you read it......Because there have been a Lot of Fokes who have been there to Stand by Me.....
These are musicians all over the world, performing one of my fave songs and then masterfully put together on one track....enjoy.
Happy Thanksgiving
Wollf
Thought I'd give you a present to listen to while or if you read it......Because there have been a Lot of Fokes who have been there to Stand by Me.....
These are musicians all over the world, performing one of my fave songs and then masterfully put together on one track....enjoy.
Happy Thanksgiving
Wollf
Hey Dragn........
......I can't seem to find that friggin' Turkey anywhere........
I know, I know.....I lose stuff all the time.
Happy early Thanksgiving!! We're road tripping again to Tucson, see the Baby Bro and the folks for a sit down dinner. Should be a great time....except for the drive of course, we'll cut out of here this afternoon and stay at the Condo in Palm Springs overnite.....cuts the trip down to a manageable distance.....
So, what are you thankful for?
I've got a whole friggin' list this year, including, of all things.....the divorce. Last year at this time, from re-reading, ol' Wollf was still a bit of a mess....but now? Not even a little....had to re-evaluate some finances, tuck in the belt for a bit, but come January....those hurdles will be over and I'll be contemplating new investments.....
So, my list:
Life.
Freedom.
Cubs......and Grand-cubs.....heh
Dragn.
Friends....both old and new.....both "met" and "Internet"
Prosperity....which I work hard at.
Oh...and before I get a "forearm shiver", (should never have taught Dragn that one).......
Uber *dog*, Ransom *cat*, Bob *fish* and Habibbi *bird*........
The Folkes I've met....sorta.....and the Ones that I've met in the Real World, are treasures to me, the anger, laughter, love and caring is a touching thing, whether I "know" you simply by your comments here or at other "homes", or whether they are Regular readers.....
Whether we've exchanged e-mails, or phone calls, or made the effort to see each other......you are all Treasures to me.
SondraK, Stepps, Cuchieddie, DougM, MiT, Ponderergirl, Paints with Words, Walks with Wolves, Rose, Kt Cat, Leonidas, Fran, Denny, Geezer, Claire, TUA, Rodger...the Real King of France, Robin, Jill, Frank J and Harvey, V Rowe, Dennis in the wasteland of Ohio, MCPO Airdale, Lawman, Jim the Newspaperman, Foxfier, Mike the Marine, the Armorer, Dammit Woman and Linda.....there are bunches more, forgive the ADD forgetfulness.....
Thank you Folkes for making my Life a better place to be....you've all in some way contributed to where I am today, some of you in amazing fashion, which is a pretty damm good place to be.
Oh, and most of all? I am thankful.........ah, you know. Dontcha?
That is all.
*Thanksgiving message complete*
Begin stuffing your Turkeys.......if you can find the damm thing......?
Wollf
I know, I know.....I lose stuff all the time.
Happy early Thanksgiving!! We're road tripping again to Tucson, see the Baby Bro and the folks for a sit down dinner. Should be a great time....except for the drive of course, we'll cut out of here this afternoon and stay at the Condo in Palm Springs overnite.....cuts the trip down to a manageable distance.....
So, what are you thankful for?
I've got a whole friggin' list this year, including, of all things.....the divorce. Last year at this time, from re-reading, ol' Wollf was still a bit of a mess....but now? Not even a little....had to re-evaluate some finances, tuck in the belt for a bit, but come January....those hurdles will be over and I'll be contemplating new investments.....
So, my list:
Life.
Freedom.
Cubs......and Grand-cubs.....heh
Dragn.
Friends....both old and new.....both "met" and "Internet"
Prosperity....which I work hard at.
Oh...and before I get a "forearm shiver", (should never have taught Dragn that one).......
Uber *dog*, Ransom *cat*, Bob *fish* and Habibbi *bird*........
The Folkes I've met....sorta.....and the Ones that I've met in the Real World, are treasures to me, the anger, laughter, love and caring is a touching thing, whether I "know" you simply by your comments here or at other "homes", or whether they are Regular readers.....
Whether we've exchanged e-mails, or phone calls, or made the effort to see each other......you are all Treasures to me.
SondraK, Stepps, Cuchieddie, DougM, MiT, Ponderergirl, Paints with Words, Walks with Wolves, Rose, Kt Cat, Leonidas, Fran, Denny, Geezer, Claire, TUA, Rodger...the Real King of France, Robin, Jill, Frank J and Harvey, V Rowe, Dennis in the wasteland of Ohio, MCPO Airdale, Lawman, Jim the Newspaperman, Foxfier, Mike the Marine, the Armorer, Dammit Woman and Linda.....there are bunches more, forgive the ADD forgetfulness.....
Thank you Folkes for making my Life a better place to be....you've all in some way contributed to where I am today, some of you in amazing fashion, which is a pretty damm good place to be.
Oh, and most of all? I am thankful.........ah, you know. Dontcha?
That is all.
*Thanksgiving message complete*
Begin stuffing your Turkeys.......if you can find the damm thing......?
Wollf
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
To a Frenchman.....
Thanks to you.....for writing this, your perspective on your interaction with American Troops in the Afghan........
"Heavily built, fed at the earliest age with Gatorade, proteins and creatine - they are all heads and shoulders taller than us and their muscles remind us of Rambo. Our frames are amusingly skinny to them - we are wimps, even the strongest of us - and because of that they often mistake us for Afghans."
Read the rest at Serendipitous Altruism
His, the French Infantryman's comment to the Blogger......"thanks for having translate my article. thanks to my partnership U.S unit for all. American people must be proud to get this kind of boys."
I guess this one guy deserves an "I'm sorry" for the Freedom Fries comments....oh well.
And a real H/T to Denny for posting the link first.
And then the thought for the day.....those silly people that think they're something that they aren't.......like this fellow...
If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.
Have a good day.
Wollf
"Heavily built, fed at the earliest age with Gatorade, proteins and creatine - they are all heads and shoulders taller than us and their muscles remind us of Rambo. Our frames are amusingly skinny to them - we are wimps, even the strongest of us - and because of that they often mistake us for Afghans."
Read the rest at Serendipitous Altruism
His, the French Infantryman's comment to the Blogger......"thanks for having translate my article. thanks to my partnership U.S unit for all. American people must be proud to get this kind of boys."
I guess this one guy deserves an "I'm sorry" for the Freedom Fries comments....oh well.
And a real H/T to Denny for posting the link first.
And then the thought for the day.....those silly people that think they're something that they aren't.......like this fellow...
If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.
Have a good day.
Wollf
Monday, November 24, 2008
Just cleaning out my Computer.....
Here I go again........
Edumahkating you Fellows.....It's my Duty in Life to pass on the Knowledge that I have obtained in this Path of mine.
Today, you learn the Ins and Outs of proper Spooning. You know what that is, it's when your Loving Woman is quite up to ....uh, ....well....that "other" thing.
See? Wasn't that difficult, was it?
Relationship Therapy, that's what I do here.......heh
Wollf
Today, you learn the Ins and Outs of proper Spooning. You know what that is, it's when your Loving Woman is quite up to ....uh, ....well....that "other" thing.
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
See? Wasn't that difficult, was it?
Relationship Therapy, that's what I do here.......heh
Wollf
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Something Different.......
As though that might be a surprise.......
Usually I don't write much on weekends.....well, at least lately....too many things to see through new eyes, Dragn eyes, Lil' Wolfie eyes, Wollf the Younger eyes....hell, my new eyes....
It's an adventure, I must say. My Life has changed dramatically since I started this silly little space last August......."Oh my"...would be the operative phrase.....
Anyway, Dragn.....the Lady in my Life....is out for the evening, doing gurl stuff..... a candle and jewelry party....and Lil' Wolfie and I opted out....Wollf is not much for those sorts of things, and besides, there are things to do.....fix the furnace, sort the tools....and most importantly, sort the thoughts in this addled ADD mind of mine.
I've been through a lot of hurt in my Life, a whole lot as I began this Blog....and I've worked it through......with a lot of help and support from you Folkes....and now, I've been truly blessed with Dragn.....and I started thinking.....*Danger...Wollf Thinking*....
And I went looking for a Fable that I remembered.....
Crap coming down on you in Your Life? What to do? Give up? Call FEMA? Whine and cry, and feel depressed......or do as the poor donkey in the well.....
One fine day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old and not worth the expense of hiring a crane to save him, and the dry well needed to be covered anyway. And it was going to be too much work to try to retrieve the donkey.
So...he called upon all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to throw dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that fell on top of the donkey, he would shake it off and take a step up onto the pile that was forming.
After a while, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off.
You see, life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
There you go.....a bit of old wisdom that has done Wollf well, and will you as well.
Hell.....if I hadn't stepped up, and finally out of the emotional well that I was in sixteen months ago, I would never have been able to step out and see the Dragn...recognize Her as what She really is......The One for me.
Ok.....don't worry.....philosophy Wollf is done for a bit....remember, ya just never knoww where I'm going to be at any time I get started on this....
Thanks for humoring this ol' Wollf.
Enjoy your Sunday....get ready for Thanksgiving....I'm heading back To Tucson for the Holiday.....can you say Road Trip?
Wollf
Usually I don't write much on weekends.....well, at least lately....too many things to see through new eyes, Dragn eyes, Lil' Wolfie eyes, Wollf the Younger eyes....hell, my new eyes....
It's an adventure, I must say. My Life has changed dramatically since I started this silly little space last August......."Oh my"...would be the operative phrase.....
Anyway, Dragn.....the Lady in my Life....is out for the evening, doing gurl stuff..... a candle and jewelry party....and Lil' Wolfie and I opted out....Wollf is not much for those sorts of things, and besides, there are things to do.....fix the furnace, sort the tools....and most importantly, sort the thoughts in this addled ADD mind of mine.
I've been through a lot of hurt in my Life, a whole lot as I began this Blog....and I've worked it through......with a lot of help and support from you Folkes....and now, I've been truly blessed with Dragn.....and I started thinking.....*Danger...Wollf Thinking*....
And I went looking for a Fable that I remembered.....
Crap coming down on you in Your Life? What to do? Give up? Call FEMA? Whine and cry, and feel depressed......or do as the poor donkey in the well.....
One fine day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old and not worth the expense of hiring a crane to save him, and the dry well needed to be covered anyway. And it was going to be too much work to try to retrieve the donkey.
So...he called upon all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to throw dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that fell on top of the donkey, he would shake it off and take a step up onto the pile that was forming.
After a while, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off.
You see, life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
There you go.....a bit of old wisdom that has done Wollf well, and will you as well.
Hell.....if I hadn't stepped up, and finally out of the emotional well that I was in sixteen months ago, I would never have been able to step out and see the Dragn...recognize Her as what She really is......The One for me.
Ok.....don't worry.....philosophy Wollf is done for a bit....remember, ya just never knoww where I'm going to be at any time I get started on this....
Thanks for humoring this ol' Wollf.
Enjoy your Sunday....get ready for Thanksgiving....I'm heading back To Tucson for the Holiday.....can you say Road Trip?
Wollf
Friday, November 21, 2008
Something Else to Worry about......
From Denny at Grouchy Old Cripple in Atlanta
I promised DW a little thing about Spiders, and while out visiting my Blog Friends, found this....a little creepy, but Educating the Masses is my prime directive, dontcha know.....
THE BLACK WIDOW SPIDER
This spider, one of only a few poisonous spiders in the USA, can be found all over the United States and North America....
The spider releases a neurotoxin into the victim that, if not treated, can cause death! The bites are Extremely painful...ol' Wollf has been bitten a few times, and never was it way up there on my "want to do again" list.....
The Black widow mates with the male then sucks the very life out of him after mating!
She's very easy to identify...
The female has a very wide backside, is black, and has a Distinctive Red Hour Glass shaped marking on her belly....
You can find this spider in:
*
*
Closets....
*
*
Wood piles.....
*
*
Under beds.....
*
*
Outhouses.....
*
*
And soon......
*
*
THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!!!
Sorry Michelle. You ain't no Jackie Kennedy.
What's with the bow legs?
Wollf
I promised DW a little thing about Spiders, and while out visiting my Blog Friends, found this....a little creepy, but Educating the Masses is my prime directive, dontcha know.....
THE BLACK WIDOW SPIDER
This spider, one of only a few poisonous spiders in the USA, can be found all over the United States and North America....
The spider releases a neurotoxin into the victim that, if not treated, can cause death! The bites are Extremely painful...ol' Wollf has been bitten a few times, and never was it way up there on my "want to do again" list.....
The Black widow mates with the male then sucks the very life out of him after mating!
She's very easy to identify...
The female has a very wide backside, is black, and has a Distinctive Red Hour Glass shaped marking on her belly....
You can find this spider in:
*
*
Closets....
*
*
Wood piles.....
*
*
Under beds.....
*
*
Outhouses.....
*
*
And soon......
*
*
THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!!!
Sorry Michelle. You ain't no Jackie Kennedy.
What's with the bow legs?
Wollf
A Song for us Baby Boomers........
It's Friday, I'm up early, and headed off to work, about a 30 minute drive, and realised that I have no friggin' idea where I left my reading glasses.
Sound familiar? Then enjoy, and start your day off with a smile. I know it helped me......warning though....put down your drink until you're done.
I already owe this cranky old Cop in Georgia a new keyboard, and I can't afford to get everybody a new one.....
What was I going to write about? Oh well.....it'll come to me.
Have a great Friday.
Wollf
Sound familiar? Then enjoy, and start your day off with a smile. I know it helped me......warning though....put down your drink until you're done.
I already owe this cranky old Cop in Georgia a new keyboard, and I can't afford to get everybody a new one.....
What was I going to write about? Oh well.....it'll come to me.
Have a great Friday.
Wollf
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Reporting For Duty......Sir!!
UPDATED
And major congrats to my She-Cub Annie and her Huggiehubby.....I couldn't help myself with a little "shopping" on the original photo.
Rumor has it that when the Doctor smacked his little tookas, instead of the usual "Waaaah", he bellowed "Oooh Rah!" and smacked him back.
Love you, Annie.......
Wollf was blessed yesterday afternoon with his first Grand Cub of the Male variety. One Alexander Craig, healthy, all four paws and proper dew-claws, Momma is doing well.
I'm thinking the Marine Corps tradition "might" continue.....not saying that his first Puppy picture is an "omen" or anything, but Ooh Rah, little baby, Carry on.
And sose you don't think I'm a "complete" ditz, a picture of 'Xander and his big Sister Kylie....Cutie she is....
More as News develops....
Grampa Wollf.......I'm not old enough for this....
Sheesh
And major congrats to my She-Cub Annie and her Huggiehubby.....I couldn't help myself with a little "shopping" on the original photo.
Rumor has it that when the Doctor smacked his little tookas, instead of the usual "Waaaah", he bellowed "Oooh Rah!" and smacked him back.
Love you, Annie.......
Wollf was blessed yesterday afternoon with his first Grand Cub of the Male variety. One Alexander Craig, healthy, all four paws and proper dew-claws, Momma is doing well.
I'm thinking the Marine Corps tradition "might" continue.....not saying that his first Puppy picture is an "omen" or anything, but Ooh Rah, little baby, Carry on.
And sose you don't think I'm a "complete" ditz, a picture of 'Xander and his big Sister Kylie....Cutie she is....
More as News develops....
Grampa Wollf.......I'm not old enough for this....
Sheesh
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
A Horses Tail....or Tale.......
The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. Sort of an odd number, but there’s a reason for it.
That’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the first U.S. railroads.
But why like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad roads, and that’s the gauge they used. But why did they use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the first roads used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
But why that particular wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old long-distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long-distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their own wagon wheels.
Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a Specification/Procedure/Process pamphlet and wonder “What horse’s ass came up with this?”, you may be exactly right.
Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses (actually, two horses’ asses). T*There's one in every crowd*
Now, then, another twist to the story.
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid fuel rocket boosters (or, SRBs). The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad truck, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a couple of horses’ asses.
And you thought being a horse’s ass wasn’t important? Ancient horses’ asses control almost everything…..............
........and current horse’s asses are controlling everything else.
You are now educated......aren't you happy?
Wollf....gotten from an e-mail, somewhere.....
Monday, November 17, 2008
Oh, and Lest We Forget........
Soldiers Angels and Project Valor IT.....get laptops into the hands of wounded Soldiers.
I joined the Marine team.....wonder why?
Clicky clicky to donate, it's a great cause.
What are you waiting for?
Wollf
I joined the Marine team.....wonder why?
Clicky clicky to donate, it's a great cause.
What are you waiting for?
Wollf
Sunday, November 16, 2008
What a Great Evening......
Hell, it was a great day, and a damm good weekend, actually....Had Lil'Wolfie til 'bout 2100hrs yesterday, took Dragn shopping in the Lowlands of Camarillo this morning, back to the Lair, a short nap, and off to the dog park with Uber.....
Seven months old, that pup.....ran himself ragged, sniffing and snarling and learning that he is simply not the big dog.....as opposed to back home...good for him, we call it socialization...
Speaking of which, the highlight of the weekend just ended. Hunger struck and we zipped up to the local haunt for some rib eye...Delicious, as you might guess.....
As luck would have it, just across from our booth sat a couple fellows, long braided ponytails and Biker gear, sipping beer and having conversation. Middle aged, grizzled and tough looking, they were intent upon explaining the benefits of Conservatism to a twenty something Obama minion......
The conversation was more than a little entertaining......the "words" were standard fare, Conservatism, Reaganomics as opposed to "trickle up" Obama-econ, the righteousness of the War in Iraq, welfare versus working for what you get, big Government.........but the Juxtaposition of the debaters....Really rough tough Hells Angels/ Mongols types......
Keeping their cool, while the young Libtard raised his voice to a wail, using his standard "words".....Bush Hitler, Baby killing....we have to LOVE and UNDERSTAND our enemies...embrace them and they will LOVE us too......
Biggest Biker finally had enough and said, "Boy, you are an Infidel. They will lie to you, rape your women and Kill you....because it's Ok in their religion.....GO AWAY."
He did.....hell, maybe I would have....rough and tumble dudes, and me with my delicate flower beside me.......Unfortunately.....or as it turned out, quite fortuitously, the fellows heard us laughing as the Peace Boy went packing. Big fellow got a gigantic grin, said something like, "You Conservatives?"
We responded in the affirmative, they jumped over to our booth, and beers and laughter continued. Good guys both of them, we had intelligent and amusing words to share, they were complete gentlemen, except for the part where the "Mongol" looking Dude offered to snap a cap in the Hippie....and all was well with the world.
The crowning moment, like a well written movie, building to the climactic scene, was when Big Fellow excused himself to the Men's room.
Moonbeam Boy came back in, a bit higher than before and plunked down in our booth to continue his raving. Dragn, without missing a beat, skootched over to him and said, "Not a good idea to sit here...."
He looked at her and laughed, at which point he found himself sitting on the floor "next" to the booth, rather than in it. Dragn does a Mean Sitting Hip Check...must be all that hockey she played as a little gurl up in the frozen wasteland of her youth......
Heh, Moonbeam got up, went as if to sit back down and Dragn made this really cute, innocent smiley face and waved him off with one of those dismissive girlie finger waggles.....
He left for good, mumbling something about "...so that's the kind of Country you want....."
Well, yes, it is, Son, a Country where we are free to associate with Like Minded People, to be free of ranting and wailing if we so wish....Toodle-ooh, Son.
We actually guffawed.....and I had another one of my "apostrophes"....remember those? Like an epiphany, but not nearly as important......
My Delicate Flower isn't quite as delicate as I had imagined....a Lady through and through, but when circumstances call.........
Watch out for the Hip Check into the glass.....
Damm, I amuse myself.
Have a Great day...I've started mine with a smile.
Wollf
Friday, November 14, 2008
Ok....can we say.....No we can't.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I love's chili........
I am sure-nuff an excellent chili chef......srsly, ask Dragn, my Cubs, Dammit Woman or any of my Staff at work......this story made me snort...hope you enjoy.....
Subject: BUFFALO GAP CHILI COOK-OFF
If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Buffalo Gap, TX.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.
For those of you who have lived in West Texas , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Old Settlers Reunion Grounds. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL .
Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Chili
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.'
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork ... Slight jala peno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse Chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT .. just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP RE MOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.
CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt
with a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
H/T to DammitWoman and Madonna.....
Thanks for the giggle,
Wollf
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Please Remove the Fork........
Because I Am Done.....with worrying about our President Elect, and what his Policy really is......to P.O.G.s.....
Yup, POGs.....my very own made up acronym.....*it's a military thing, forgive me*...
Pissed Off Gays. There, I said it. Call me a Homophobe, intolerant, a Bible Thumping Sumbitch.....I don't care. Because....I am not.
I am simply, completely tired of crybaby, didn't get my way in the vote by the People, POGs.
You lost. *This Time*.....You want to lessen your chance of overturning Prop 8? Just keep up your disruption of Church Services, keep getting your faces, in full on Flaming Regalia, out on the nightly news and the Internet.....knocking over Little Old Ladies.....freaking People out.
Pay attention here, I'm srsly trying to help.....
Prop 8 was my most difficult choice in this election. I really am ....well, in My eyes, better than "Tolerant". You see.....I don't give a fat rats a$$ if you want to be "married". That's your problem....or "joy", or whatever you want to call it....
Bring the doom on yourselves...because...you don't want to be "married"...you want "RESPECT".
You are not getting it by your actions. You made a "lifestyle" choice....not to be Gay....but to be GHE...as in CHE....the revolutionary....make sense? Normal People...and I mean Catholics, Protestants, Mormons, Straights....AND Gays....think that you are Maroons.......
I enjoy things in my Bedroom that you might or might not like. Guess what?
IT IS NONE OF YOUR FRIGGIN" BUSINESS!! It's not a "Lifestyle" to Normal People. It's a Physical Element of our Love for our Partner.....Why is it so hard for you to get that?
I am done with you. Because of your silly a$$, whiney, throw rocks mentality. You are just hurting yourselves.
How did I vote? None of your friggin' business again....but NEXT time? Because I'm tired of looking at your sorry selves making a mockery of People that I hold Dear?
Next time I'm voting AGAINST....Extremism.
Get a Life, Fools, and realize that Straight Midstream Folkes don't hate you because you're Gay......they distrust you because you're Ghe.....POGs......Extremists...
Do it the right way...you'll get more support.
Out,
Wollf
Yup, POGs.....my very own made up acronym.....*it's a military thing, forgive me*...
Pissed Off Gays. There, I said it. Call me a Homophobe, intolerant, a Bible Thumping Sumbitch.....I don't care. Because....I am not.
I am simply, completely tired of crybaby, didn't get my way in the vote by the People, POGs.
You lost. *This Time*.....You want to lessen your chance of overturning Prop 8? Just keep up your disruption of Church Services, keep getting your faces, in full on Flaming Regalia, out on the nightly news and the Internet.....knocking over Little Old Ladies.....freaking People out.
Pay attention here, I'm srsly trying to help.....
Prop 8 was my most difficult choice in this election. I really am ....well, in My eyes, better than "Tolerant". You see.....I don't give a fat rats a$$ if you want to be "married". That's your problem....or "joy", or whatever you want to call it....
Bring the doom on yourselves...because...you don't want to be "married"...you want "RESPECT".
You are not getting it by your actions. You made a "lifestyle" choice....not to be Gay....but to be GHE...as in CHE....the revolutionary....make sense? Normal People...and I mean Catholics, Protestants, Mormons, Straights....AND Gays....think that you are Maroons.......
I enjoy things in my Bedroom that you might or might not like. Guess what?
IT IS NONE OF YOUR FRIGGIN" BUSINESS!! It's not a "Lifestyle" to Normal People. It's a Physical Element of our Love for our Partner.....Why is it so hard for you to get that?
I am done with you. Because of your silly a$$, whiney, throw rocks mentality. You are just hurting yourselves.
How did I vote? None of your friggin' business again....but NEXT time? Because I'm tired of looking at your sorry selves making a mockery of People that I hold Dear?
Next time I'm voting AGAINST....Extremism.
Get a Life, Fools, and realize that Straight Midstream Folkes don't hate you because you're Gay......they distrust you because you're Ghe.....POGs......Extremists...
Do it the right way...you'll get more support.
Out,
Wollf
Monday, November 10, 2008
Happy Friggin' Birfday to the Corps......
It's November 10th, 233 years of Pride and Honor. There are no Ex-Marines...well except "Murtha".....
A message from the Commandant.
Poor Dragn......has no idea what she's agreed to attend tonite at Corrigans......
It's a Birfday....but not too much cake will be eaten.
Semper Fi.
Wollf
A message from the Commandant.
Poor Dragn......has no idea what she's agreed to attend tonite at Corrigans......
It's a Birfday....but not too much cake will be eaten.
Semper Fi.
Wollf
First a Rant.....
A real short one, nothing too deep, but By G-d Jeezers, what a$$hat clown signed my e-mail up with move-on.horg as a supporter....with "Thanks" for getting this guy elected?
I am getting junk like this in my mail every day.....and it ticks me off.....
Look, Folkes.....I get it. Obama is the President Elect. I will wish him and my Country nothing but the best. I "hope" that my current low view of his abilities will "change"......
But do not include me in your messianic love for the guy. The poster gives me the creeps....way, way to much like the old Stalin-Lenin artwork of the Proletariat.
So.....I added a little bit to the poster to make me feel better.
Because "WE" didn't. "THEY" did....and I hope that "WE" can all deal with the result and remain the pre-eminent power in the world.
*end rant*
*resume "happy-happy*
Wollf
I am getting junk like this in my mail every day.....and it ticks me off.....
Look, Folkes.....I get it. Obama is the President Elect. I will wish him and my Country nothing but the best. I "hope" that my current low view of his abilities will "change"......
But do not include me in your messianic love for the guy. The poster gives me the creeps....way, way to much like the old Stalin-Lenin artwork of the Proletariat.
So.....I added a little bit to the poster to make me feel better.
Because "WE" didn't. "THEY" did....and I hope that "WE" can all deal with the result and remain the pre-eminent power in the world.
*end rant*
*resume "happy-happy*
Wollf
Saturday, November 8, 2008
A Lazy Saturday Morning........
No Cubs til this evening, the weather has warmed considerably from just yesterday, took Dragn down to Camarillo for breakfast at a wonderful little cafe that's been on the main drag since the early forties....
Now back at the Lair, She reading, Uber asleep at my feet.....Lazy, lazy, lazy.
Tomorrow will be fun. A Huge Civil War reenactment just down the road in Moorpark, they're expecting close to 4000 troops to engage. I took some pretty good shots last year....in fact one of them was used in the publicity flyer for this years event.
So, the Cubs love it every year, Dragns never seen anything like this sort of production....we'll have a grand time.
Oh, did I tell you we got a Bird? A little blue parakeet named Habibi. We liked him. Ransom the Kitteh? He LOVED him.....feathers and all.
That experiment didn't work out too awfully well...oh, and the fridge? Still without, waiting on a replacement coil on Monday....living on restaurants and stuff we can keep in a cooler on ice....such is life and the adventure of living with Wollf.
Ok...boring stuff, I know, but I thought I should catch up.
Maybe I'll write something insightful later....
Don't count on it.
Wollf
Now back at the Lair, She reading, Uber asleep at my feet.....Lazy, lazy, lazy.
Tomorrow will be fun. A Huge Civil War reenactment just down the road in Moorpark, they're expecting close to 4000 troops to engage. I took some pretty good shots last year....in fact one of them was used in the publicity flyer for this years event.
So, the Cubs love it every year, Dragns never seen anything like this sort of production....we'll have a grand time.
Oh, did I tell you we got a Bird? A little blue parakeet named Habibi. We liked him. Ransom the Kitteh? He LOVED him.....feathers and all.
That experiment didn't work out too awfully well...oh, and the fridge? Still without, waiting on a replacement coil on Monday....living on restaurants and stuff we can keep in a cooler on ice....such is life and the adventure of living with Wollf.
Ok...boring stuff, I know, but I thought I should catch up.
Maybe I'll write something insightful later....
Don't count on it.
Wollf
Thursday, November 6, 2008
An Inside View......
The following is an e-mail from a Chicago PD Lt. assigned to Grant Park......
Subject: Election night Celebration......
Well, we now have a new president. At the least this should put cries of affirmative action to rest as Obama has proven that as a black man in the USA he can achieve anything...if you want to and you work hard. I'll judge as the 4 years unfold. First, I'll know the atmosphere of his presidency by the decision he makes about U.S.A. Fitzgerald. That will set the tone.
In the meantime, here's what the media hasn't told you AND NEVER WILL about the joyous celebrations in Chicago:
1. Obama's rally was somewhat peaceful due to the fact that about 70% of the attendees both in the ticketed and unticketed areas were white.
2. In the unticketed area (where I was) black teens turned over several porta-potties with people in them. They also caved in the roof of one by jumping on it. That particular porta-potty was for handicapped access and had an elderly female with a walker in it.
3. Calm was exibited by the some 300,000 people because there was a strict search for booze and no booze was sold.
4. A CPD squad car came under sniper fire in the 900 blk of N. Ridgeway and was struck by several gunshots. 2 arrests. No cops hurt.
5. Citywide 14 CPD squad cars were damaged by thrown rocks, bricks, bottles. 6 officers injured.
6. Madison, Chicago, 16th St, 47th St., 63rd St, MLK, Cottage Grove and Howard St. were closed for several blocks in either direction to account for crowds. Several businesses citywide were broken into and looted (clothing & liquor stores were the primary targets).
7. Riot police used gas on the crowds in the following districts: 2,5,11,15.
8. Within the first 30 minutes following the announcement of a new president, the 7th District received 104 seperate calls of shots fired.
9. It took 2.5 hours following the closing of Grant Park to clear the Loop of rovings crowds and reopen traffic. Although no arrests were made in Grant Park, 19 arrests were made in the Loop (2 for UUW); these don't include those made on the train platforms or subways.
10. Snow plows were lined up on Monroe between LSD/Columbus; Roosevelt between State/Canal, to be used a mobile barricades to control unrult crowds. My platoon has 6 trucks for Butler Field where the majority of the crowd was.
11. Tact Lts assigned to the details were equipped with 100 flex cuffs; 2 plastic riot shields and 10 large canisters (fire extinguisher size) of pepper gas to deploy at their discretion.
12. At the debriefing, the bosses simply said "We got lucky."
That is all. Let me know if you read or see this anywhere.
The Lts words, by the way, not mine. Interesting slant on it from one of the real good guys.
Wollf
Subject: Election night Celebration......
Well, we now have a new president. At the least this should put cries of affirmative action to rest as Obama has proven that as a black man in the USA he can achieve anything...if you want to and you work hard. I'll judge as the 4 years unfold. First, I'll know the atmosphere of his presidency by the decision he makes about U.S.A. Fitzgerald. That will set the tone.
In the meantime, here's what the media hasn't told you AND NEVER WILL about the joyous celebrations in Chicago:
1. Obama's rally was somewhat peaceful due to the fact that about 70% of the attendees both in the ticketed and unticketed areas were white.
2. In the unticketed area (where I was) black teens turned over several porta-potties with people in them. They also caved in the roof of one by jumping on it. That particular porta-potty was for handicapped access and had an elderly female with a walker in it.
3. Calm was exibited by the some 300,000 people because there was a strict search for booze and no booze was sold.
4. A CPD squad car came under sniper fire in the 900 blk of N. Ridgeway and was struck by several gunshots. 2 arrests. No cops hurt.
5. Citywide 14 CPD squad cars were damaged by thrown rocks, bricks, bottles. 6 officers injured.
6. Madison, Chicago, 16th St, 47th St., 63rd St, MLK, Cottage Grove and Howard St. were closed for several blocks in either direction to account for crowds. Several businesses citywide were broken into and looted (clothing & liquor stores were the primary targets).
7. Riot police used gas on the crowds in the following districts: 2,5,11,15.
8. Within the first 30 minutes following the announcement of a new president, the 7th District received 104 seperate calls of shots fired.
9. It took 2.5 hours following the closing of Grant Park to clear the Loop of rovings crowds and reopen traffic. Although no arrests were made in Grant Park, 19 arrests were made in the Loop (2 for UUW); these don't include those made on the train platforms or subways.
10. Snow plows were lined up on Monroe between LSD/Columbus; Roosevelt between State/Canal, to be used a mobile barricades to control unrult crowds. My platoon has 6 trucks for Butler Field where the majority of the crowd was.
11. Tact Lts assigned to the details were equipped with 100 flex cuffs; 2 plastic riot shields and 10 large canisters (fire extinguisher size) of pepper gas to deploy at their discretion.
12. At the debriefing, the bosses simply said "We got lucky."
That is all. Let me know if you read or see this anywhere.
The Lts words, by the way, not mine. Interesting slant on it from one of the real good guys.
Wollf
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
So Here's what Happened.......
I had to leave the confines of my Offices yesterday to run out and look at a few upcoming Projects......
As I was waiting to make a right turn and enter the Freeway, I noticed a group of McCain supporters off on the side of the road cheering and waving flags at the passersby. One fellow, driving at about 45 miles an hour obviously didn't agree with them.......
He blared his horn, took his hands off the wheel, and was giving them a sign of.....disrespect for their Candidate.....distracted as he was, he failed to negotiate the slight bend in the road right next to me.....
He did not, however fail to juxtapose his pretty Prius with the Light pole ten feet directly off my drivers' side door.....KA-WHUMP, and an immediate 45mph to 0mph, and exploded the front end of his pretty Prius across and through my truck, leaving a few new items of interest lodged in the side of my face and neck.....
Nothing serious, but the ol' adrenal system is still operating at peak efficiency.
In the words of my Little Baby Brother......"Messed Him Up....umhmmm" I gave aid as was needed, mostly just cradling the poor fellows head so as not to move it until the Pros arrived, and I was on my way......
Thanking G-d for solid, unyielding steel poles as set by our employees. Otherwise, I think the blogging would have been on hiatus for a bit.
Couple things I came away with.......
1) I will NEVER drive one of those little death machines....crumpled like an accordian, it did.
2) Life truly does change in just a few seconds.
3) Yelling and cursing at Folkes just because you disagree with them can be downright counter productive.....well, 'spescially when you're driving.
And you'll be proud.....I didn't even ask the a$$hat if he'd voted yet.
So there.
Wollf
As I was waiting to make a right turn and enter the Freeway, I noticed a group of McCain supporters off on the side of the road cheering and waving flags at the passersby. One fellow, driving at about 45 miles an hour obviously didn't agree with them.......
He blared his horn, took his hands off the wheel, and was giving them a sign of.....disrespect for their Candidate.....distracted as he was, he failed to negotiate the slight bend in the road right next to me.....
He did not, however fail to juxtapose his pretty Prius with the Light pole ten feet directly off my drivers' side door.....KA-WHUMP, and an immediate 45mph to 0mph, and exploded the front end of his pretty Prius across and through my truck, leaving a few new items of interest lodged in the side of my face and neck.....
Nothing serious, but the ol' adrenal system is still operating at peak efficiency.
In the words of my Little Baby Brother......"Messed Him Up....umhmmm" I gave aid as was needed, mostly just cradling the poor fellows head so as not to move it until the Pros arrived, and I was on my way......
Thanking G-d for solid, unyielding steel poles as set by our employees. Otherwise, I think the blogging would have been on hiatus for a bit.
Couple things I came away with.......
1) I will NEVER drive one of those little death machines....crumpled like an accordian, it did.
2) Life truly does change in just a few seconds.
3) Yelling and cursing at Folkes just because you disagree with them can be downright counter productive.....well, 'spescially when you're driving.
And you'll be proud.....I didn't even ask the a$$hat if he'd voted yet.
So there.
Wollf
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
In the Blink of an Eye......
Any Persons Life can be changed......or ended. I just got that reminder. Close, as in Way Too Friggin' Close call.
A Traffic light pole and five feet sepaarated ol' Wollf from a fifty mile an hour Tee-Bone.......More after the adrenaline subsides....it's difficult to type with my hands still trembling a bit if you catch my drift.....
Oh.....I'm Ok, just a bunch of glass stuck in my face...back when the adrenaline subsides, eh?
Oh yeah.....vote.
Wollf
A Traffic light pole and five feet sepaarated ol' Wollf from a fifty mile an hour Tee-Bone.......More after the adrenaline subsides....it's difficult to type with my hands still trembling a bit if you catch my drift.....
Oh.....I'm Ok, just a bunch of glass stuck in my face...back when the adrenaline subsides, eh?
Oh yeah.....vote.
Wollf
It'll all be over soon......
Seems I've gotten myself a lot more worked up over this stupid election than usual.
Here you go. Vote. I did. You should.
There, can we start having some fun again? Hell, People....I have issues, and I need to start dealing with them again.
I am SO glad this thing is almost over.
G-d Bless America
Wollf
Here you go. Vote. I did. You should.
There, can we start having some fun again? Hell, People....I have issues, and I need to start dealing with them again.
I am SO glad this thing is almost over.
G-d Bless America
Wollf
Monday, November 3, 2008
Well....didn't write over the weekend....
I mean just in case you noticed. I....or rather the Dragn and I were rather busy, you see......
We had gone to Tombstone, and a little sumpin-sumpin happened to the fridge. Seems the ice-maker pipe had slipped off in the freezer, the door was ever so slightly ajar, and the little drip drip that is supposed to make ice cubes in the container.....
Well, it decided to make Glacier National Park II in the freezer.......
Unbelievable ampunt of ice, all because of a little drip.....Took all day, hunched over like a liberal monkey.....we alternated this post, chipping and blow drying...gave us a chance to catch up on the Fall Cleaning, so, even though the fridge "seems" to still be lifeless....we got some chores knocked off....
Everybody pitched in, actually. I must give credit to Ransom for keeping his eye on the squirrels.....insidious little beasts, and he takes his job quite seriously.
Srsly.
Wollf
We had gone to Tombstone, and a little sumpin-sumpin happened to the fridge. Seems the ice-maker pipe had slipped off in the freezer, the door was ever so slightly ajar, and the little drip drip that is supposed to make ice cubes in the container.....
Well, it decided to make Glacier National Park II in the freezer.......
Unbelievable ampunt of ice, all because of a little drip.....Took all day, hunched over like a liberal monkey.....we alternated this post, chipping and blow drying...gave us a chance to catch up on the Fall Cleaning, so, even though the fridge "seems" to still be lifeless....we got some chores knocked off....
Everybody pitched in, actually. I must give credit to Ransom for keeping his eye on the squirrels.....insidious little beasts, and he takes his job quite seriously.
Srsly.
Wollf
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