1.. When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.
5. When you are worried ~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.
7. When you are sick ~ Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.
9. When your heart is broken, I will tell you what a sorry excuse for a woman she was, and then help you get over it....with beer. Oh, and I will NEVER date her. Yuck, she's been with you!
10. This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you are my friend and you'd do it for me.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.