Dear Mr. President,
Please find below my suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the "Patriotic Retirement Plan":
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.
It can't get any easier than that!!
P. S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress pay their taxes....
Mr. President, while you're at it, make Congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I'll bet both programs would be fixed pronto!
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4 comments:
Drat!! I don't qualify for 1 or 3 and the last car I bought is 44 years old. Maybe I'll take to pig wrestling. Heard that there may be a future in it:o)
Well, having just turned 50, I could go for this plan. I would abide by all the stipulations. Of course, I am out of work, so I don't really have anything permanent to retire from...
ΛΕΟΝΙΔΑΣ: I hear that pig wrestling is counterproductive; you get dirty and the pig likes it. You could come to Texas and shoot a couple thousand feral hogs and be lauded as a hero! Then we could make them into bacon for Wollf's Super Bowl party...
aA: "You could come to Texas and shoot a couple thousand feral hogs and be lauded as a hero!"
Where does the Austin chapter of PETA stand on that issue? Do they supply the ammo?
ΛΕΟΝΙΔΑΣ .... Yes they do, as a matter of fact.
Because in Texas, PETA stands for People Eatin' Tasty Animals...
*ba dum Ting!!*
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