Tuesday, December 4, 2007

The Mayonaise War.............

Apologies and H/T to Sailorette whom I am inducting whether she likes it or not, into the Wollf Pack. The young Lady is talented, incisive, funny, and most of all is free with her cyber *hugs* to middle aged furry creatures.

She wrote a post on renaming the War on Terror to the Terror War. Excellent post.

I, unfortunately went off the deep with it because I'm a bit down and way off Muggle this evening. My suggestion for renaming juxtaposes two things in life that Annoy Wollf.

Saint Louise should have cast that last vile bottle into the fires of hell....

Two things that the Earth and Humanity would be better without. Another math formula students....

If Terrorist = Bad, and Mayonnaise = Bad, then Terrorist = Mayonnaise.

The Mayonnaise War.

I hate Terrorists, well, except that dead terrorist puppet guy, "I Keeel You!!", and I Really, really hate Mayonnaise.

So, Mayonaise=Terrorist. It would make it difficult for the MSM to deal with.....just imagine the headlines....

"Suicide Mayonnaise Bomber Strikes Near Head of State"

"Fallujah Cleared of Mayonnaise"

And, because Terrorism is a relatively new subject in our lives, and every thinking human being hates Mayonnaise, it would make it nigh impossible for either party to not support the Troops with everything they had.

Think of the embarrassment to the Al Mayonnaise Brigade. Hell, the townsfolk would laugh them out of Tikrit.

Our Victory flag to show designated "Cleared" areas could be a banner with a bottle of Miracle Whip on it.

It would embarrass me to think that anyone would support the Mayonnaise over our Troops. I was served my divorce papers today.

I know firsthand the Horrors of Mayonnaise.
I am officially, (Morally, if not yet Legally, Single)

Now what?
Oh, I think I remember......any advice?
Sleep well, I'm going to drive someone crazy. Who shall it be?



Foxfier said...

*laughs* Hey, when folks hurt, I want to make 'em feel better, especially when they're good folks.

There's only one problem with your Mayo equation-- mayo has a few good uses (such as in the horrible, water-packed tuna) while terrorists aren't even good fertilizer.

Rose said...

ha ha! She has a point, Wollf.

Linda Sue O'Grady said...

Uh oh.

I love mayonnaise, real mayonnaise.

Yes. I do. Really.

Does this mean I'm out of the Wollf Pack?

Wollf Howlsatmoon said...

Oh that just does it, three of my faves like the eeevil Mayo.

I can understand Foxfier, the Navy. Too much water, possible hydrocephalus affecting her judgement.

Rose? Close your windows, it's all the second hand Ganja smoke....

But Linda? On this Night of Miracles? Whip yourself into shape, Woman.

(get it? Miracles...Whip?)
Oh nevermind, I'm outnumbered.


Anonymous said...

Sorry to say it my dear friend, but I'm with the mayo lovers. The Whip has it's uses as well but if I had to pick just one..... I do love my mayo!
Now if you want to name it the "Lite Mayo" or "Non-fat Mayo" war... We'll probably all be on the same side - that stuff is EVIL!

Linda Sue O'Grady said...

"Non-fat Mayo War"

Yes! A brilliant compromise!

K T Cat said...


Jacob the Syrian Hamster said...