Without stating for the record "who" this happened to, although it Really happened, and without being too graphic, because it was Entirely too graphic.....a little, bitty story of a few days.....train of thought wise.
If you were here, you'd get the story with all the inappropriate gesturing, hand wringing and gesticulating that makes it a bit more memorable. Ladies, cover your eyes.....Man talk, don't you know.....heh
Costa Rica. A number of miles inland from the Pacific Coast. I..oops...this Man had been In Country in "another" Country for two weeks, the fun accomplished, and doing a solitary evac through Civvy channels......One and only one Gallon of Good water, as in Microbe free....an absolutely necessary bus ride full of Peons, one poor and miserable chap with a sick chicken in a box, needs water and decides to beg a sip of the Gallon.....compliance is deemed necessary. Pours the ENTIRE Gallon of potable water on the stupid "Pollo". It comes comes around and stands up and his Owner is quite happy.
The friggin' Gallon of Potable water is gone. It's Ninety degrees, easily One Hundred and Ninety percent humidity.......the well seemed like a good idea at the time.......
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Owww, sleeping on the beach naked in a hammock, Moctezuma takes his Legendary Revenge.......Horrid cramps, the trots to the ocean, throwing up, wash face, .......mistake, turn around wash face......bigger mistake.....back to the hammock.....
Finally, after a few trips, a fitful sleep........the sound of footsteps, shocked awake, frightened......it's a friggin' huge iguana, aaaagh....almost shot the damm thing......back and forth to the ocean..........
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Finally truly asleep, awaken to hear a weird and scary noise......... woosh sniff woosh, sniff............It's a Cow that is staring directly at the face....licking face.........Surrender to the inevitable?
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No......hike, cramping, smelling, suffering.....alone....to the little coastal village. A Pharmaceria! A pill in the village, a visiting Doktor......It seemed half the size of the iguana from the night before. Choked it down with a swig of tequila......
That was when the pharmacist says that "No, Senor, it's a suppositorio, Eet goes een your Butt......."
Eeeew, as my love would say......Didn't go again for almost two weeks........But it worked almost immediately.....except....didn't go again for almost two weeks....
Made it home and life got back to "normal" after a bit.......the lady made an off handed remark that the storyteller had no a$$.........
He used to, but he seems to have lost it on a beach somewhere in Costa Rica.....aaaaahhhhhhhoooowww.
"I left my a$$......in Costa Rica........high on a hill, it calls to me......"
True story......I believe the feller who tells it......heh.
Goodnight, I have one more day and a wake up......I'll post occasionally if there's any interest. Hope to sleep on the beach a night or two.......
They don't have cows or iguanas......or sickly chickens, do they?
Love you guys.
*shoulda shot the damm chicken*
Wollf
3 comments:
Hey! It's Friday, and no hey, I got here ok, the flight was fine, and all that...? You know, we worry, and inquiring minds... and all that.
dear dear dear, wolfie :)
Hugely funny!
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