Now, where was I? Oh yeah.....Eff Michael Vick. I mean I truly understand the difference between the sanctity of human life and that of an animals', Vick, but you torture and kill your dogs because they're not "viscious" enough for you? Not even remotely acceptable, you friggin' moron. I can just hope there's a lot of big, nasty Dog lovers in the penitentiary you go to.





Oops, my bad, you found Jesus! And in friggin' Record time. Let's see, plead guilty to a "horrid" crime, accept Jesus as your Saviour.....all is forgiven. Yup, that's the way I feel. Turn the other cheek, judge not lest I be judged, chalk it up to a bad childhood.





Nope, sorry Vick.


You're a dick.





Oh yeah, more about where I am in my quest. In fact, just what exactly is this "Quest"?





Well, to be quite blunt and to the point, the Beautiful Mrs. P and myself are on the "outs". I am on a Mrs. P enforced "walkabout". When all is said and done, as Painful as this has been, and as downright Angry and Hurt and even Scared as I've been..........I realize now that I owe her a greater debt of gratitude than I can ever repay.



She's forced me to look at, and finally "see" my Soul. And let me tell you folks, when you actually "see" your Soul is when you can finally begin your "Quest". Everybody has one. That's why we're here. Most of us avoid it and settle for a life of "settling". Settling for less than we and our Loved ones deserve. I understand her words, "you've got to do this for you". If I'm a better Man for me, by extension I'm a better Man for her.....and our children.



I'm far from the end of this Quest, just starting to get a fuzzy glimpse of what it really is, in fact quite probably, the Quest actually is the Goal.



Pretty esoteric there, huh? Not to worry, I'll be getting back to my nonsequitors "bout the time the meds wear off.



To continue.....I'm in an unbelievably better place right now for me. What have I done? First was to admit to myself that I had a problem, (spell that with an S on the end), and then tomake some Immediate changes in lifestyle so that my mind was clear enough to figure it out.



I started meditating,(kudos to a fellow named Roy Masters for that). I'll put up a link to his website when I figger out how. A dearer friend than I knew turned me on to the guy's tapes. Then I stopped drinking, didn't want or need any depressant in my system. I've been depressed. It ain't fun. I started, and continue counseling.



Everything was getting better. My moods stabilized. I wasn't as tired. I thought, "well This is as good as it gets". The Psych alluded to the fact that I "might" have A ADD. He told me to mention it to my Doc which I did.



Doc's opinion? "Why, of course you are. I've known that since your first time in my office!" (Thanks, Doc. Could we have diagnosed that 10 odd years ago?) I'm sure the beautiful Mrs. P would have wished that. Instead, after my Brother, 6 years ago, and my eldest Daughter, 3 1/2 years ago, died, I slipped into depression. My mind, already filled with wirring thoughts, was always filled with the "bad" stuff instead of what I'd obviously thought was the "Normal" six or seven things at once. It was driving me crazy. I drank. Not so's anyone really noticed, not even the beautiful Mrs. P. If I'd had the meds then, I think the fall wouldn't have been nearly as catastrophic.



Now, I'm in a routine, and finally doing what I was put here to do.....The Quest.



I get up in the morning...Early. I meditate a bit. I put on the "Muggle" patch and can concentrate and feel uplifted ALL day. I get to "Walkabout Haus",( I REFUSE to call it Home), I meditate a bit, take off the patch and write. Well, I used to write. Now I'm going to bore the Hell out of any poor Soul that runs across my Blog! Do any chores that need to be done, visit fully with my kids, go for a walk and then zzzz'z, Late.



This is Friggin' Great! Just when I thought I was as good as it gets, I found a whole new reality. A place where I could Own my thoughts. A place where I'm the Master of my thoughts, where Kindness and Fun live.



A place where I could finally see my Soul. Where I can accept myself, some of the horrible things I've done in my life, a place where I realize that the only One that I can truly Atone to is...Me.



I Yearn for Mrs. P. Yup, no doubt about that one. But, although I've accepted me......we'll have to see if she does. I can't control that. I CAN now control Me.

Well, enough of this for now. I've always wanted to start a "kinda" secret Blog to opine about the day's events, make fun of all the stuff out there and generally have a good time.

But I Have to get this stuff out "there" before I really can. Part of my Quest, don't you see.

So, finally, and if you read this whole thing, You're probably not ADD. Congratulations!!!
OH yeah,

Eff Michael Vick. And that goofball trying to get the Bomb, Ahma Dinnerjacket or somethin.
More on that dickweed and the "Amazing French" in a future fun filled Blog.
Late.