Oh, and for you whiners.......

The picture looked mean......I swapped out the glaring "House" goof with a spur of the moment Lil' Wolfie and a cheap camera pic. That's my favorite "Kuwait" hat, and two days stubble.

(Duh.....Sunday's Post, not this one)

Oh, that Lawyer in Chi-Town? Still an a$$-Hat, nobody loves him but EVERYBODY wants to talk to him.

Phones down, fax, email, website......heh
Wollf

Mathematics Lesson, Sheep and Carbon Credit Millions

Wollf really dislikes being less than 100% ambulatory. Mobility is freedom. Roaming, walking, exploring.....ahh, that is fun. Doing so with a cane attached so the knee doesn't pop is not.

It's time. Time to leave the familiar confines of my surroundings and adventure a bit. I've got vacation time up the wazoo, I'm single, the Cubs are headed back to school.....it's time to hunt.

And I have the ADD, remember? (if not, you will by the end of this ridiculous post. I'm in hyper-attention mode today) I was thinking about a Grand adventure. And my Spirit is soaring, so I started wondering......

Hmmmm, Coast to Coast is about.....2,373 miles as the crow flies.

That's approximately, give or take a few thousand, 14,418,622 feet between the Atlantic, let's say in Florida, and the Pacific, right here by me in Kalifornia.

The average sheep is just about four feet long. Stick with me here, it makes sense to me.......if it does to you, call a Doctor....

That would be 3,604,655.5 sheep standing end to end, right? Simple mathematics here, People. We give them a four foot separation, so that they can graze and not have to look direrctly at each others butts, and that number is halved.

Which of course, drops the necessary number to 1,802,327.5 sheep. I'll eat the half sheeps so they won't be wasted. Besides, a Wollf needs sustenance on his journey.

Let's assume two seconds for a sheep leap, one second to leap, one second recovery and approach. That would take 901,118 seconds, or 15,018 minutes, or 251 hours.

That's Ten and a half Days at full Wollfie leap speed, not to mention Rancher dodging time, an ocassional nap......and the two half sheep dinners might not be enough.

That's a long time. Round trip air is only about $400.00 with a two week lead. But, $400.00 is $400.00......gotta watch the money, and just think of the carbon offsets I can market out of this deal. I could get rich and retire in Miami by the time I get there!

G-d bless you, Algore. G-d bless Global Warmening.
Anybody have about a million sheep you don't need for about a week?

I simply have got to think a little more about this. I want to go in mid February. Any help will be appreciated.

Vote for Fred!
This Blog endorses Fred!
Please don't let him know, he might kick my a$$.

Next up, "How to Rid your Yard of Ground Squirrels"
Caramel Chunk ice cream tonite.....all mine, Cubs went down the hill!
Wollf

Scumball Lawyer Update.......

Grodner, the little pukebag antisoldier douche is becoming a popular fellah.

Oh my, this milkweed is going to be lucky if he's only shunned by his Mother. Hop on over to LindaSog, and read the updates about This Bottom Feeding Dung Beetle and follow the linkie thingies for some Photoshop fun.

Warning: Not if you haven't eaten yet.....dude ain't pretty.

Keying a Deploying Marine's car......Tasteless and Cowardly,
Being late to your own Arraignment.......Stupid,

Posting a "Mantits" picture on a dating site for EVERYONE to mock.....Priceless.

The Internet and Photoshop.....the modern equivalent of "Tar and Feathers", the "Stocks", "Public Flogging" and "Being run out of town on a rail" all rolled in to one.

Wollf does happy dance. OUCH, forgot the knee.
Wollf does happy limp.

There is no resemblance.....

And wow I need a haircut. This Very stupid picture is to amuse myself and mostly the Cubs. Nothing more fun than a good laugh at their Sire's expense.

No fair clicky-clicking.....you don't need to see the pores in my skin. Damm, I have to watch you People.....

I did my best to scowl and look pissed off. Just doesn't work when I try.

Oh, and I forgot my running shoes, (mine aren't as Ghe as the "House" character), and my jacket. I was in the mood for my Tommy cardigan. Oh well, the Cubs'll love it anyway.

We rented two "new" old movies that were made before the Cubs were born. They have finally accepted that Wollf knows his funny movies. I got Beverly Hills Cop, and....Blazing Saddles!!

They shall now be introduced to the Manly joy of Flatulence jokes. You Women Folke out there don't get the humor.......but it's my duty as Sire to teach them in the "Mysterious Ways of Manhood".

Pull my finger? Just kidding, sheesh. Wollfs don't do that......

But I am wondering.....Why do Ladies rooms have a couch? Just seems so...."Pre-Women's Liberation" to Wollf. I mean to say....oh I'm going to annoy somebody, I'm sure, you don't suffer bouts of the Vapors and such any more, do you?

The Ladies Room is such a mystery to we Men. I'm perfectly ok with that, I suppose I don't really need to know....and I'm sure as hell not going to start a reverse-rights movement to add couches to the Mens Room.

You ever been in there? Not a place you might want to sit down in and visit. I think that's what got that Congressman from Idaho in all that brouhaha. Straight Men do not visit in the toilet.

We don't even look around while doing what we're there to do. That's why we're called "Straight". As in straight ahead, stare at the wall kinda straight. And no, Ladies, we don't "check" anything.....sheesh, you're curious!

Ok, enough for now, Have movies, will watch. Until I fall out, that is....I did not sleep well at all last night. Sore shoulder, poor Wollf, and a lot to think about.
I should be back in a bit to make another feeble attempt at humor.

Oh...Happy New Year!! I hope the best of all things to you and your Families. Do the same for me, this New Year is going to bring Adventure most sublime.....

Carry on....and quit laughing at the picture, or I'll take it down, dammit.
Wollf

Butt Head of the Month....

Oh, sorry, I don't seem to have a "Butt Head of the Month" column, do I?
Sorry again, it must be the ADD.

I read a MilBlog named Blackfive about once a week for information "from the front". These Men, Blackfive himself, Uncle Jimbo, et al, take no prisoners, show little in the way of Mercy, and are genuinely "my kind of People".

It's just not what I do here. This morning early, I couldn't sleep for some reason, I bipped on over and found a story about a young Marine readying for second deployment who had his car "keyed" by none other than an Attorney.

A Military hating attorney. I won't go into the story, but I have the feeling that it might just raise your blood pressure as it did mine.

If you're interested, check out the story, and don't miss the comment section, these guys can be vicious and laugh out loud funny all at the same time.

So, you've been warned. If you don't want to read about a scumbag attorney trying to run roughshod over the rights of a Marine, don't go HERE

That is all. See? Wollf didn't even rant. It's all Love and Flowers and Butterflies on this site. Heh

Wollf

MEDIC! Medic!........medic? Hello?.......

I am sans Cubs until later this afternoon at best. I am also sans mobility, which is truly less than acceptable.

Wollf didn't emerge from the Lair until about 6:30 this morning. The Cubs and high emotion worked their skills on my exhaustion index, I suppose. An absolutely gorgeous morning greeted me.....the fog had rolled in, it was brisk but not cold, and I decided to go for a run-hike down in the canyons......

About two miles into it, I'd worked up a light sweat, walking a bit more than running, cutting across country, enjoying the serenity of the foggy mountain landscape, I vaulted a little stream cut into the side of the hill. Nothing much, about a four foot jump across a three foot deep cut to the burbling water.

The side of the bank gave way as I landed, hyper extending my knee. I twisted during the fall to the water and rocks, and "softened" the landing by striking the ground with my left palm first.

Should have just crashed on my side, but I've got this "thing" about hitting my head.
Dislocated my shoulder. There lies Wollf, in about six inches stream water, a bit stunned by the oh so eloquent pain in my knee and shoulder, and all I could do was laugh.............

Rolling over and getting to a standing position was a bitch. The shoulder wouldn't support me, and the knee was complaining loudly that I had abused our friendship.
I eventually got to a standing position, reset my shoulder, and sat back down to survey the damage and my alternatives.

I was soaked to the skin, it's 58 degrees, I'm two miles from the road, my shoulder seems to be holding in place, and my knee is screaming that it is never going to forgive me. The alternatives open to me were fairly obvious.

Walk.

Or, rather, Limp out. The twenty minutes in country became an hour retreat.

At least I had my house keys with me....I could not have borne getting the spares from the frisky married woman next door, not again. I called my Orthopaedist Friend and invited myself to coffee. My initial diagnosis was validated.

She checked the shoulder to make sure I'd reset it properly, (I had), and then gave me a brace for the knee, told me to ice it, keep it elevated, ya da ya dah....and to come in and see her on Wednesday for a work up.

So, here I am. I'm quite sore, took a couple aspirin, wrapped the knee against Doc's advice, and as soon as I'm done writing, I'm going down the hill shopping. For a cane.

The Cubs will friggin love it. They're both big "House" fans, a tv show on Monday nights about an irascible, acerbic Doctor with a limp, a cane, and a genuinely big heart buried deep beneath his garbage. They, and a number of Folke here in the real world see a lot of resemblance, both physical and mental between Wollf and this House character.

They will Love the cane. Guess I'll have to break out one of my casual blazers to really freak them out. I don't see any resemblance at all, do you?



Ok, maybe a bit, but I have Amerind Brown eyes.

In a strange Wolfie way, I really enjoyed the trip back. Minor Physical pain doesn't bother me, so much as it invigorates me. It cleared my head and allowed me to think.

Just because there's a risk of injury, will Wollf stop doing the things that make him feel good? It's called Risk vs. Benefit, I think. If something seems as though it might be absolutely wonderful, should we shy away from it because it might hurt us?

Not in my world. Not any more. I've hurt my body before many times. It has healed. I don't remember the pain.(well except this particular one)....I remember the Adventures.

I suppose it's the same with matters of the heart? Imagine the Adventures to come. Count me as all in. I'm about healed from my last mishap.

I gotta go pick out a cane.
I'm better looking than that darn House guy. What's he got that Wollf doesn't, besides a few milion dollars, blue eyes, fame,......oh never mind.

Talk later,
Wollf

My, how my world has changed.........

A New Years Post

A brief retrospective.....A little over six months ago, Wollf began his personal re-creation, thanks to his then wife. She was done. As in "I don't want to be married any more" done.

Like a brick to the forehead, I was knocked to my knees. I made some major physical and mental changes in my lifestyle.....read the earlies if you're interested....started this Blog.....and here I am. (insert blare of strumpets here).

Yes, I know it's not "strumpets", but I enjoyed that post and its comments.

I've been quite prolific since, logging 229 posts since that time in late August. Not necessarily good, mind you, but definitely prolific. Its been good exercise for the mind and Soul. I'm a different Man than the one who began this journey.

Different concerns, different joys, fears and desires. The tone of my posts has evolved accordingly. My self perception has changed. Hell, everything has changed.

Mostly for the good. I don't have as much spare money as I used to, but now I decide what to spend it on. That's a good thing. I've got a ton more alone time. I didn't care for that at first, but that was laziness and short sightedness on my part. Now I cherish it......

What's the joke? "A Hermit doesn't have to worry about peer pressure". My decisions are mine, good or bad, and I take great pleasure in that.

My heart is mostly healed. I'm pragmatic enough to realize it isn't completely over yet, but I've come to accept that little crack and embrace that vulnerability as a shield of sorts. No Fortress walls to protect me any more.

I am truly Wollf. My emotions, pain and joy have regained their freedom through these postings.......Never to be walled in again. If you the reader think that I've said something stupid......good for you. I hope it made you laugh.

These last few days have been a glimpse of what life can really be, given the proper perspective.

I think I'm falling in Love again.

A seemingly impossible sort of Love, fraught with dangers inconceivable, obstacles insurmountable......but it's happened because of a Will beyond my own. I have said any number of times in the last half year, "Never Again!"

But that was said by the mortally wounded Wollf, who wanted nothing but to lie insensate, but safe in the depths of his Lair. I've now drunk deeply of the Chalice, and the wounds have all but healed.

Wollf will walk gingerly through this New Year, but walk he will. Further and further down this path of Life, drinking in its Beauty and sharing his odd fellow joy with anyone who wishes it.

Yes Folke, I think I'm falling in Love again.......with the notion of Love. "Have I told you that you're beautiful?"