This is my Happy Wollf picture. I may use him as my Avatar. Just looking at this animal makes me smile. His smile is a lot like your less than humble scribes own. I identify with the Soul of the Wolf more and more each day.....

As much as I've shared in these pages, there are still volumes of even more intimate thoughts and feelings tto be delved into. I had thought of starting the new Blog, but I think that I'll just stick to this one.

"I don't know what I'm getting myself into." I've been told that once or twice in my life. That's incredibly true. I've always been quite impetuous in my decision making. The end results of which have varied between the extremes of Grand success and Total fiasco.

Looking back and meditating on some of the bigger decisions of my Life so far, I'm pretty damm pleased with the cumulative quality of all those choices. Some have hurt quite badly as you know. Some have brought Joy beyond belief.

Some have been both. Life is like that. I'm in such a strange place right now, I'm actually at a loss for what to write. I so very much want to write of Love. I want to describe what I envision as my next evolutionary step in my Journey.

To be able to say that the way that I feel right now is akin to putting on a fresh out of the clothes dryer, thick terrycloth robe on a cold evening, curling up in front of a fire with a good cup of coffee and a favorite book of short stories, some soft jazz playing in the background....

I'd like to write about the feeling that I'd have after a three hour phone conversation with a person that I love and want to be with as badly as I want to breathe. That sensation of fulfillment without being fulfilled. A bittersweet embrace of electrons rather than skin.

The Wollf's perspective. Alone and alive and searching and finding and never wanting to let go and.........Being. Embracing the moment with innocent eyes, throwing off the blindfold of jaded experience and living each moment as if it were for the first time.

Slow down to enhance the taste of experience.

Yup, Wollf had an epiphany tonite. Such a mystical experience, looking back on it, that I have no words to describe eloquently enough to do it justice. I'm at a loss.

And so dumbfounded am I at my good fortune and my emotional escalation...that I won't even try. I am drained, as after an evening of intense lovemaking in candlelight. My eyes are not capable of staying open. I'm punch drunk, flustered, and oh, so pleasantly, dreamily sleepy.

Sorry that I can't find any words to describe how I feel tonight. We'll have fun tomorrow, I promise........'Nite,
Wollf

WARNING!! Philosophizing Wollf Alert WARNING!!

I am writing and will return.

Now would be a good time to use the restroom...........

A Beautiful Muse spoke to me two days ago. I didn't hear until today.........

An amazing........something..........happened to me this evening. I had a "feeling" that I'm not sure that I've had since this train wreck of my recent life started. I've thought about it, read extensively about it and written about it.

But I haven't "felt" it. I hid from it, I built walls against it because of how it hurt me. I've expounded quite a bit about it in earlier posts, trying to explain to myself, and the Ether, just what I understand about it.............but it's an elusive subject to study.

But today, I was given the gift of another irreplaceable piece of the puzzle. If you're not in the mood, or you're new, (that would make four readers , Mrs. Wink), skip this post and find something lighter.

Love. The most frightening and powerful force on the planet. It can let you fly amongst the clouds. It can crush you beneath its iron fist. Believe me, I know both sides of its power.

So do you.

It's an elemental piece of the human condition, and yet it is so misunderstood.....and misused.

"Lust, selfishness, martyrdom, sex, attraction, etc. etc.", are also "major" pieces of what God made as "us". There is power to bring joy and the power of destruction in each. Each has its proper and acceptable, no, Necessary place in our lives.

We need to be selfish sometimes to protect ourselves, but not at the expense of others. We need the selfless-ness of martyrdom, but not to the extreme of the suicide bomber.

Attraction leads to lust and then to sex. Not inevitably, but often, and when not abused, these parts of our condition give us comfort. Using our innate selfishness when in the throes of attraction, lust or sex can only bring us discomfort.

When the good side of the "Elemental" power of Love is coupled with any of the individual "pieces", as in Martyrdom "with" love, lust "from" love, attraction "of" love, etc., Then is when we are comforted and brought joy by the workings of our "condition".

The "good" side of this Elemental power is summed up in the Greek.......Agape'. I've postulated on it in earlier posts, but I hadn't Felt it until now.

We Are capable of Perfect Love. It's what God intended for us to have. Not a Love for selfish reasons, but more like being selfish for loving reasons...........

Love without expectation. Love without need. What I, in my Journey have just seen is that we were created to freely Give Love. That is when you really can fly. When Love is Then received, as a Gift.........without expectation....

Then God's miracle is revealed.

I gotta change the subject.....................