1.. When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.
5. When you are worried ~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.
7. When you are sick ~ Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.
9. When your heart is broken, I will tell you what a sorry excuse for a woman she was, and then help you get over it....with beer. Oh, and I will NEVER date her. Yuck, she's been with you!
10. This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you are my friend and you'd do it for me.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
H/T Denny
Monday, October 4, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Do NOT mess with Old Men........
My Sire, 89 years old, Former highly decorated Marine, (Faithful Readers know the story).....is being taken to the VA this morning by my Baby Bro and his lovely wife......
Seems Wollf the Younger thinks he might have pneumonia....we all hope not. Prayers would be appreciated.
That being said, he is a tough old bird. Maybe not the toughest though....I want you to read about This old fellow.......
Samuel Whittemore
From Wikipedia
Samuel Whittemore (1694 - February 3, 1793) was a farmer. He was eighty years old and living in Menotomy, Massachusetts (present-day Arlington) when he became the oldest known colonial combatant in the American Revolutionary War.[1]
On April 19, 1775, British forces were returning to Boston from the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the opening engagements of the war. On their march, they were continually shot at by colonial militiamen.
Whittemore was in his fields when he spotted an approaching British relief brigade under Earl Percy, sent to assist the retreat. Whittemore loaded his musket and ambushed the British from behind a nearby stone wall, killing one soldier. He then drew his dueling pistols and killed a grenadier and mortally wounded a second. He managed to fire five shots before a British detachment reached his position. Whittemore then attacked with a sword. He was shot in the face, bayoneted thirteen times, and left for dead in a pool of blood. He was found alive, trying to load his musket to fight again.
He was taken to Dr. Cotton Tufts of Medford, who held out no hope for his survival.
However, Whittemore lived another 18 years until dying of natural causes at the age of 98.
A monument in Arlington, Massachusetts reads:
Near this spot, Samuel Whittemore, then 80 years old, killed three British soldiers, April 19, 1775. He was shot, bayoneted, beaten and left for dead, but recovered and lived to be 98 years of age.
In 2005, Samuel Whittemore was proclaimed the official state hero of Massachusetts
As well he should......
Wollf
Seems Wollf the Younger thinks he might have pneumonia....we all hope not. Prayers would be appreciated.
That being said, he is a tough old bird. Maybe not the toughest though....I want you to read about This old fellow.......
Samuel Whittemore
From Wikipedia
Samuel Whittemore (1694 - February 3, 1793) was a farmer. He was eighty years old and living in Menotomy, Massachusetts (present-day Arlington) when he became the oldest known colonial combatant in the American Revolutionary War.[1]
On April 19, 1775, British forces were returning to Boston from the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the opening engagements of the war. On their march, they were continually shot at by colonial militiamen.
Whittemore was in his fields when he spotted an approaching British relief brigade under Earl Percy, sent to assist the retreat. Whittemore loaded his musket and ambushed the British from behind a nearby stone wall, killing one soldier. He then drew his dueling pistols and killed a grenadier and mortally wounded a second. He managed to fire five shots before a British detachment reached his position. Whittemore then attacked with a sword. He was shot in the face, bayoneted thirteen times, and left for dead in a pool of blood. He was found alive, trying to load his musket to fight again.
He was taken to Dr. Cotton Tufts of Medford, who held out no hope for his survival.
However, Whittemore lived another 18 years until dying of natural causes at the age of 98.
A monument in Arlington, Massachusetts reads:
Near this spot, Samuel Whittemore, then 80 years old, killed three British soldiers, April 19, 1775. He was shot, bayoneted, beaten and left for dead, but recovered and lived to be 98 years of age.
In 2005, Samuel Whittemore was proclaimed the official state hero of Massachusetts
As well he should......
Wollf
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The Vote is coming up……..
Here’s my un-asked for Conservative opinion for Californians:
With great thanks to KFI radio for the hard part. SoCal? Listen to 640AM in the afternoons on your way home.
Proposition 19 - VOTE YES
Legalizes Marijuana Under California but Not Federal Law. Permits Local Governments to Regulate and Tax Commercial Production, Distribution, and Sale of Marijuana. Initiative Statute.
Hey, am I still a “conservative” Blogger now? The benefits outweigh the risks. Tax the dumb Bastids that smoke the crap, let the Feds go after the evaders. Worked with the Mafia didn’t it?
Proposition 20 - VOTE YES
Redistricting of Congressional Districts. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
Turns over drawing congressional district maps to the people where it belongs. Gets rid of the guaranteed Districts…Remember, any elected officials’ prime directive is to get re-elected.
Proposition 21 - VOTE NO
Establishes $18 Annual Vehicle License Surcharge to Help Fund State Parks and Wildlife Programs. Grants Surcharged Vehicles Free Admission to All State Parks. Initiative Statute.
A car tax increase to “fund” parks? You already pay for that with your other taxes. Besides, we probably have too many ‘parking attendant’ Rangers as it is.
Proposition 22 - VOTE YES
Prohibits the State from Borrowing or Taking Funds Used for Transportation, Redevelopment, or Local Government Projects and Services. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
Just trying to head off feeding the Sacramento spending beast. If the coffers are dry, they can’t spend more money…basically they want to steal money already earmarked for projects that benefit the private citizenry.
Proposition 23 - VOTE YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
Suspends Implementation of Air Pollution Control Law (AB 32) Requiring Major Sources of Emissions to Report and Reduce Greenhouse Gas Emissions That Cause Global Warming, Until Unemployment Drops to 5.5 Percent or Less for Full Year. Initiative Statute.
Stop the Global Warming Final Solutions Act. This one costs our Employers, Big, Medium and Small, so much in retrofit and permitting and fines costs that they will have to start thinking of downsizing. Remember, Employer= Good. Bureaurocrat= Bad.
Proposition 24 - VOTE NO
Repeals Recent Legislation That Would Allow Businesses to Lower Their Tax Liability. Initiative Statute.
Sacramento, leave businesses alone for your tax grabs, cut spending, lower taxes.
Proposition 25 - VOTE NO
Changes Legislative Vote Requirement to Pass Budget and Budget-Related Legislation from Two-Thirds to a Simple Majority. Retains Two-Thirds Vote Requirement for Taxes. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
However they try to sell this, changing the 2/3 vote for anything except a tax cut would be a mistake.
Proposition 26 - VOTE YES
Requires That Certain State and Local Fees Be Approved by Two-Thirds Vote. Fees Include Those That Address Adverse Impacts on Society or the Environment Caused by the Fee-Payer's Business. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
This time a “yes” vote fights tax increases.
Proposition 27 - VOTE NO!
Eliminates State Commission on Redistricting. Consolidates Authority for Redistricting with Elected Representatives. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.
The political Democratic hacks put this on the ballot and are contributing big time to stop the people from drawing their Legislative and Congressional districts – don’t let them!
Clip and Save, Cut and Paste....e/m to your Friends. We have a State and a Country to take back.
Discuss!
Wollf
With great thanks to KFI radio for the hard part. SoCal? Listen to 640AM in the afternoons on your way home.
Proposition 19 - VOTE YES
Legalizes Marijuana Under California but Not Federal Law. Permits Local Governments to Regulate and Tax Commercial Production, Distribution, and Sale of Marijuana. Initiative Statute.
Hey, am I still a “conservative” Blogger now? The benefits outweigh the risks. Tax the dumb Bastids that smoke the crap, let the Feds go after the evaders. Worked with the Mafia didn’t it?
Proposition 20 - VOTE YES
Redistricting of Congressional Districts. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
Turns over drawing congressional district maps to the people where it belongs. Gets rid of the guaranteed Districts…Remember, any elected officials’ prime directive is to get re-elected.
Proposition 21 - VOTE NO
Establishes $18 Annual Vehicle License Surcharge to Help Fund State Parks and Wildlife Programs. Grants Surcharged Vehicles Free Admission to All State Parks. Initiative Statute.
A car tax increase to “fund” parks? You already pay for that with your other taxes. Besides, we probably have too many ‘parking attendant’ Rangers as it is.
Proposition 22 - VOTE YES
Prohibits the State from Borrowing or Taking Funds Used for Transportation, Redevelopment, or Local Government Projects and Services. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
Just trying to head off feeding the Sacramento spending beast. If the coffers are dry, they can’t spend more money…basically they want to steal money already earmarked for projects that benefit the private citizenry.
Proposition 23 - VOTE YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
Suspends Implementation of Air Pollution Control Law (AB 32) Requiring Major Sources of Emissions to Report and Reduce Greenhouse Gas Emissions That Cause Global Warming, Until Unemployment Drops to 5.5 Percent or Less for Full Year. Initiative Statute.
Stop the Global Warming Final Solutions Act. This one costs our Employers, Big, Medium and Small, so much in retrofit and permitting and fines costs that they will have to start thinking of downsizing. Remember, Employer= Good. Bureaurocrat= Bad.
Proposition 24 - VOTE NO
Repeals Recent Legislation That Would Allow Businesses to Lower Their Tax Liability. Initiative Statute.
Sacramento, leave businesses alone for your tax grabs, cut spending, lower taxes.
Proposition 25 - VOTE NO
Changes Legislative Vote Requirement to Pass Budget and Budget-Related Legislation from Two-Thirds to a Simple Majority. Retains Two-Thirds Vote Requirement for Taxes. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
However they try to sell this, changing the 2/3 vote for anything except a tax cut would be a mistake.
Proposition 26 - VOTE YES
Requires That Certain State and Local Fees Be Approved by Two-Thirds Vote. Fees Include Those That Address Adverse Impacts on Society or the Environment Caused by the Fee-Payer's Business. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
This time a “yes” vote fights tax increases.
Proposition 27 - VOTE NO!
Eliminates State Commission on Redistricting. Consolidates Authority for Redistricting with Elected Representatives. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.
The political Democratic hacks put this on the ballot and are contributing big time to stop the people from drawing their Legislative and Congressional districts – don’t let them!
Clip and Save, Cut and Paste....e/m to your Friends. We have a State and a Country to take back.
Discuss!
Wollf
Monday, September 27, 2010
Yay.....Pictures!
....well, not pictures....they're a bit gross...
So x-rays will have to suffice.
That bone isn't supposed to look like that.
Vicodin makes my nose itch.
Nothin' worse than a Wollf with and itchy nose and a sore paw.....
heh.
So x-rays will have to suffice.
That bone isn't supposed to look like that.
Vicodin makes my nose itch.
Nothin' worse than a Wollf with and itchy nose and a sore paw.....
heh.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Waaaaaaah!
Well...ol’Wollf did it again.... Anybody remember when I removed my left pinkie on Memorial day? Didn’t think so...well, update is that $130k later, it works and has feeling....yay...but....
Guess where I spent 3 hours today?
Urgent Care. Same left hand, this time the thumb, broken in 3 places, 14 stiches, a new cast, and I get to see the Surgeon again on Monday.
I am a 5th degree blackbelt, I ‘consider’ myself very coordinated, but....well yannow?
Crap, the embarassment. One or two prayers would be appreciated.........
Truth be known......I am a Master Tenth Degree KLUTZ!!!!!
Tim Taylor anyone?
Pictures on request, it's not as bad as the Memeorial Day incident, thank G-d
Wollf
Guess where I spent 3 hours today?
Urgent Care. Same left hand, this time the thumb, broken in 3 places, 14 stiches, a new cast, and I get to see the Surgeon again on Monday.
I am a 5th degree blackbelt, I ‘consider’ myself very coordinated, but....well yannow?
Crap, the embarassment. One or two prayers would be appreciated.........
Truth be known......I am a Master Tenth Degree KLUTZ!!!!!
Tim Taylor anyone?
Pictures on request, it's not as bad as the Memeorial Day incident, thank G-d
Wollf
Friday, September 24, 2010
Bad Beginnings.......
Every year, San Jose' State publishes its list of the worst opening lines in a story.
Wow, these Folks can write!!!
Here are some examples:
It was a dark and stormy night, well, not pitch dark so much a plumby, you know, that time of night where it turns into that kind of eggplant color, which I hate-- eggplant not the time of night--and it wasn't stormy so much as drizzly, like a cold that's not so bad but really annoying, where you sound a little plugged up and all your mucus just sort of hovers at the edge of your nostrils or drips down the back of your throat, it was like that.
"Fightin' Joe" Steerforth thought he was tough until the day he met Annie ("Big Bucket") McGillicuddy and she left him battered and spent like a punch-drunk prizefighter on the ropes of love.
Just beyond the Narrows the river widens.
The golden, starry wonders of the dark universe unfurled before the brave interstellar vessel "Argus" like a black flag of victory with a whole bunch of holes in it as the mysterious mission buoyantly commenced that would one day resolve critical questions about space, time, and the appropriate ratio of nuts to chips in a perfect chocolate chip cookie.
As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.
The wind dry-shaved the cracked earth like a dull razor--the double edge kind from the plastic bag that you shouldn't use more than twice, but you do; but Trevor Earp had to face it as he started the second morning of his hopeless search for Drover, the Irish Wolfhound he had found as a pup near death from a fight with a prairie dog and nursed back to health, stolen by a traveling circus so that the monkey would have something to ride.
With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description.
Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the east wall: "Andre creep . . . Andre creep . . . Andre creep."
Oliver Smith, spy on Her Majesty's service - not that she knew about it, because that tended to spoil the whole secrecy thing and really, who'd want an un-secret spy, anyway? Not to mention that any spy worth his salt would kill anybody who knew his identity . . . so I wouldn't go around mentioning that I read this if I were you - looked both ways before crossing the street.
The serrated butter knife tossed capriciously onto the 38th Street sidewalk amid the detritus of Salem cigarette butts and a Mentos box was devoid of zero trans fat margarine, but glinted invitingly in the sunlight nonetheless, poised for the opportunity to be repurposed to cut up a Snuggie, and Vladimir took it.
Fleur looked down her nose at Guilliame, something she was accomplished at, being six foot three in her stocking feet, and having one of those long French noses, not pert like Bridget Bardot's, but more like the one that Charles De Gaulle had when he was still alive and President of France and he wore that cap that was shaped like a little hatbox with a bill in the front to offset his nose, but it didn't work.
The horizon coughed up the morning sun much as if Atlas had lowered the world from his mighty shoulders and given it the Heimlich maneuver.' "This is almost worth the high blood pressure!" he thought as yet another mosquito exploded.
Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved.
Warily-as if his hands were a green-bean casserole in a non-tempered glass dish that had just come out of the freezer, and the patient was an oven that had been preheating for a good 75 minutes at 450F-the surgeon slowly reached into the incision and groped for the bullet fragment in the pancreas, at last finding it nestled near one of the Islets of Langerhans like a small wrecked lifeboat foundered on a sandbar as it floated in the fog, adrift in the Sea of John's Innards.
Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store.
The Cunard "Carinthia" glided through the starry waters of the Bering Sea, 843 passengers aboard, including Harriet Dobbs, resignedly single for over a decade, while a nautical mile due west slunk the K-18 submarine, under the command of lonely Ukrainian Captain First Rank Nikolai Shevchenko: ships that passed in the night (although the second technically a boat).
She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't.
Wow, these Folks can write!!!
Here are some examples:
It was a dark and stormy night, well, not pitch dark so much a plumby, you know, that time of night where it turns into that kind of eggplant color, which I hate-- eggplant not the time of night--and it wasn't stormy so much as drizzly, like a cold that's not so bad but really annoying, where you sound a little plugged up and all your mucus just sort of hovers at the edge of your nostrils or drips down the back of your throat, it was like that.
"Fightin' Joe" Steerforth thought he was tough until the day he met Annie ("Big Bucket") McGillicuddy and she left him battered and spent like a punch-drunk prizefighter on the ropes of love.
Just beyond the Narrows the river widens.
The golden, starry wonders of the dark universe unfurled before the brave interstellar vessel "Argus" like a black flag of victory with a whole bunch of holes in it as the mysterious mission buoyantly commenced that would one day resolve critical questions about space, time, and the appropriate ratio of nuts to chips in a perfect chocolate chip cookie.
As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.
The wind dry-shaved the cracked earth like a dull razor--the double edge kind from the plastic bag that you shouldn't use more than twice, but you do; but Trevor Earp had to face it as he started the second morning of his hopeless search for Drover, the Irish Wolfhound he had found as a pup near death from a fight with a prairie dog and nursed back to health, stolen by a traveling circus so that the monkey would have something to ride.
With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description.
Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the east wall: "Andre creep . . . Andre creep . . . Andre creep."
Oliver Smith, spy on Her Majesty's service - not that she knew about it, because that tended to spoil the whole secrecy thing and really, who'd want an un-secret spy, anyway? Not to mention that any spy worth his salt would kill anybody who knew his identity . . . so I wouldn't go around mentioning that I read this if I were you - looked both ways before crossing the street.
The serrated butter knife tossed capriciously onto the 38th Street sidewalk amid the detritus of Salem cigarette butts and a Mentos box was devoid of zero trans fat margarine, but glinted invitingly in the sunlight nonetheless, poised for the opportunity to be repurposed to cut up a Snuggie, and Vladimir took it.
Fleur looked down her nose at Guilliame, something she was accomplished at, being six foot three in her stocking feet, and having one of those long French noses, not pert like Bridget Bardot's, but more like the one that Charles De Gaulle had when he was still alive and President of France and he wore that cap that was shaped like a little hatbox with a bill in the front to offset his nose, but it didn't work.
The horizon coughed up the morning sun much as if Atlas had lowered the world from his mighty shoulders and given it the Heimlich maneuver.' "This is almost worth the high blood pressure!" he thought as yet another mosquito exploded.
Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved.
Warily-as if his hands were a green-bean casserole in a non-tempered glass dish that had just come out of the freezer, and the patient was an oven that had been preheating for a good 75 minutes at 450F-the surgeon slowly reached into the incision and groped for the bullet fragment in the pancreas, at last finding it nestled near one of the Islets of Langerhans like a small wrecked lifeboat foundered on a sandbar as it floated in the fog, adrift in the Sea of John's Innards.
Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store.
The Cunard "Carinthia" glided through the starry waters of the Bering Sea, 843 passengers aboard, including Harriet Dobbs, resignedly single for over a decade, while a nautical mile due west slunk the K-18 submarine, under the command of lonely Ukrainian Captain First Rank Nikolai Shevchenko: ships that passed in the night (although the second technically a boat).
She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
30 Things That are True.....
Via the E-mails......
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer and cell phone history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5 How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on the 101. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection.. .again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Light than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
27. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
28. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
29. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
30. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
A whole lot of truth...right there....
Wollf
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer and cell phone history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5 How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on the 101. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection.. .again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Light than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
27. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
28. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
29. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
30. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
A whole lot of truth...right there....
Wollf
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