The Ostrich .......

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to
the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will
be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke.."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same.."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?"
asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change
in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered
me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,
I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money
would always be there.."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress.. "Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man..

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with long legs who agrees with everything I say.."



She's cute too......
Wollf

LET'S CLARIFY SOME THINGS........

.......For our kids. Black and Gold Fan shares some words of wisdom......

Public schools and mainstream media have ensured that the hope for a better future that we parents have in our children has been quelled in exchange for an agenda poised to ruin the very freedoms generations of Americans have loved, fought, and died for. I pray that one day the tide will turn many of today's young people enjoy some of the greatest pleasures of life that my generation did.

To the youth of today:

All of your young lives, you have been told many things. Some are true, some are not. I hope to enlighten you a bit. Trust that my intention is to give you food for thought so you may exercise your God-given right to think for yourselves. The freedom to think for oneself is perhaps the greatest of all rights bestowed upon us by our creator.

Reality Check #1 -- There is NO separation of church and state clause within the Constitution that says you cannot erect a cross on government property. The 'separation' clause seeks only to prevent the government from establishing an official religion for the country in the same manner as many islamic countries. Interpreting the clause to mean that all traces of religion are to be banned from public property only sets to establish atheism as the official government religion in clear violation of the Constitution.

Reality Check #2 -- No one in your life owes you ANYTHING. What you get out of this life will be determined by the amount of hard work you put into making your dreams come to fruition. If you sit back and wait for everything to be handed to you, you will have nothing but the invisible shackles of slavery binding you. When you are given all that you have, you become a puppet of those who say you deserve without having to work for it.

Reality Check #3 -- Corporal punishment is NOT child abuse. Children being beaten and tortured by their caregivers is an abomination under all circumstances, but a swat on the behind of a small child is a totally different thing. You've heard "Spare the rod, spoil the child"? It's true. And, no, it does NOT teach young children to be violent. I offer that being told it's okay to get what you want by using force is what teaches kids to be violent.

Reality Check #4 -- Capitalism is NOT evil. It is what has made this country prosperous since its founding. Do your parents work for what you have? You can thank capitalism for that. When government puts restrictions on capitalism, government becomes the arbiter of what the people deserve. And trust me: government does NOT know what is best for the free individual.

Reality Check #5 -- Evil does exist in this world. There are those who hate America and her people for the way we live. A beautiful, cloudless day in September of 2001 proved that, and no amount of trying to understand and appease those who believe this way will ever change their minds. Appeasement is weakness to them, and they will shake your hand while peeing in your shoes.

Reality Check #6 -- Being exposed to germs will benefit you in the long run. Sure, you may get slightly ill with a cold or flu on occasion, but your immune system will be all the stronger for it. Live in a sterile environment, and your body will not know how to fight off illness.

Reality Check #7 -- You do NOT have the right to NOT be offended. Just as you enjoy freedom of expression, so do those who have opposing views. Don't whine about how offended you are when someone disagrees with you.

Reality Check #8 -- Good self-esteem comes from hard work and success, not the other way around. The drive to succeed will build your self-esteem and make you feel good about your life. When you are taught that 'everyone wins' during your Little League years because there is no score being kept, you grow up thinking that the world will treat you fairly when you reach adulthood. It won't.

Reality Check #9 -- There is no such thing as failure. Falling short of your goal is merely another opportunity to regroup and try again to make your dreams come true.

Reality Check #10 -- Raw cookie dough will not kill you if you eat it. Many generations of people have fought for what is left in the bowl after all the batter has been used. Guess what? We're alive and well. And it's one of the truly decadent pleasures of childhood.

To the youth of today, I pray that some of what I've said causes you to stop and think about everything you get told in school and by the mainstream media. Please stop feeling entitled to everything and learn to be a free individual. It's the most precious thing you will ever learn.

B & G Swiped in it's entirety from THE RIGHT STUFF

How did Jefferson know?

John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the white House for a group of the
brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement:
"This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to
gather at one time in the White House with the exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."


When we get piled
upon one another in large cities, as in Europe,
we shall become as corrupt as Europe .
Thomas Jefferson


The democracy will cease to exist
when you take away from those
who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson


It is incumbent on every
generation to pay its own debts as it goes.
A principle which if acted on would save
one-half the wars of the world.
Thomas Jefferson


I predict future happiness for
Americans if they can prevent the government
from wasting the labors of the people under the
pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson


My reading of history convinces me
that most bad government results from too much
government.
Thomas Jefferson


No free man shall ever be debarred
the use of arms.
Thomas Jefferson


The strongest reason for the
people to retain the right to keep and bear arms
is, as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
Thomas Jefferson


The tree of liberty must be
refreshed from time to time with the blood of
patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson


To compel a man to subsidize with
his taxes the propagation of ideas which he
disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson


Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:
'I believe that
banking institutions are more dangerous to
our liberties than standing armies.
If the American people ever allow
private banks to control the issue of their
currency, first by inflation, then by
deflation, the banks and corporations that will
grow up around the banks will deprive the people
of all property - until their children
wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers
conquered.'

John Kennedy was right.......
Wollf

Dance!

....oK, oK, oK........sorry!! I've been busy. I promise to get back into writing.

In the mean time.....Dance!

Bwaa-Ha-Haa.....ERP....

Add Jesse Jackson’s ride to prominent vehicles being stripped in Detroit.

Following the embarrassing news that Mayor Dave Bing’s GMC Yukon was hijacked by criminals this week, Detroit’s Channel 7 reports that the Reverend’s Caddy Escalade SUV was stolen and stripped of its wheels while he was in town last weekend with the UAW’s militant President Bob King leading the “Jobs, Justice, and Peace” march promoting government-funded green jobs.

Read that again: Jackson’s Caddy SUV was stripped while he was in town promoting green jobs

Add Jesse to the Al Gore-Tom Friedman-Barack Obama School of Environmental Hypocrisy. While preaching to Americans that they need to cram their families into hybrid Priuses to go shopping for compact fluorescent light bulbs to save the planet, they themselves continue to live large.....larger than You and I anyways.....

Read the whole article .......
Henry Payne / The Michigan View.com

These guys just friggin' make me sick usually.

This time I had a nice chortle at the Revends' expense.
Wollf

Yeah, Yeah, I know......

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

(Well, Snopes calls it "Undetermined".......)

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives.

You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.

The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... Isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants.

I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done.

Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... But I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.

I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!

See? Now wasn't that fun?
Wollf

Deep-fried beer invented in Texas ..................

A chef in Texas has created what he claims is the world's first recipe for deep-fried beer.

Inventor Mark Zable said it had taken him three years to come up with the cooking method and a patent for the process is pending.

He declined to say whether any special ingredients were involved.

His deep-fried beer will be officially unveiled in a fried food competition at the Texas state fair later this month.

Five ravioli-like pieces will sell for $5 (£3) and the Texas Alcoholic Commission has already ruled that people must be aged over 21 to try it.

The beer is placed inside a pocket of salty, pretzel-like dough and then dunked in oil at 375 degrees for about 20 seconds, a short enough time for the confection to remain alcoholic.

When diners take a bite the hot beer mixes with the dough in what is claimed to be a delicious taste sensation.

aA.....I am sure you'll be tempted to try it...let us know!

He's making it using Guinness at this point.....Lone Star can't be far behind

The rest of the story at The Telegraph

Wollf....Lover of all things Beer.